February 29, 2018...

Busty Demoness·2/16/2017, 9:52:56 PM·12 votes·1,623 views

League has gone through so many overloaded reworks and terrible item balance choices...

Champions like Yasuo, Ekko and Riven now have passives that prevent them from being banned while being able to use any item to increase their damage. Lee Sin gains his sight back and is now teleporting with global range to any ally on the normal safeguard cooldown. Teemo has become the true lord of hell, his mushrooms now permanent explosive fire traps that cannot be destroyed. Caitlyn's range is tripled and her passive changes to "Out of Sight", where she no longer reveals herself from Fog of War when attacking anything. Miss Fortune now has Sivir's Ricochet as a permanent passive, dealing Love Tap to every enemy hit. Lethality Builds are the meta for any physical damage dealer, and Shadow's Knife enables assassins to attack someone in Zhonya's (or any similar state). Shaco's boxes instead spawn shadow clones that attack until timed out or destroyed, exploding in more knives.

Finally fed up with the balance team's shit, Riot executes each of them with the Guillotine, since Darius wasn't around to do it himself. Afterwards, they pull up an archived build of League, restoring back to the start of Season 2, trying to avoid their past mistakes. They release a few champions again, they avoid releasing others. They slow the release schedule so that champions do not tread on the niche role of others.

Riot's Marc Merril, to atone for his previous crimes of boosting and allowing the balance team to pull their shit for so long, steps down from head of Riot Games. In his place, Riot Baconhawk swoops in and with her comes Ironstylus, Nikasaur and Scarizard. Lyte is allowed to return, but he is under close watch by everyone.

League has pulled off a historical miracle. No other video game dipped like they did and suddenly explode as if a new game once more. Players are suddenly less toxic as they realize that victory is not a requirement for fun. Players do more to work together, suddenly recognizing that it is a team game. A few are still silent outcasts, but they lurk knowing that while their split pushing methods are not always understood, they are sometimes necessary.

League has become the standard for all RTS/MOBA games, winning awards left and right each year, finally achieving their dream of becoming an E-Sport.

26 Comments

TyrekGoldenspear2/16/2017, 9:57:23 PM3 votes

This is so baised it isn't even funny.

So many of my favorite champs wouldn't even be around if we had it your way. Guess what? Nostalgia goggles are really tight, so tight in fact that

This is funny and eloquent satire. +1.

Awesomedude88882/18/2017, 1:30:20 AM3 votes

Did you name this thread February 29, 2018 because you are memeing about how your story will never happen?

Golden Tager X2/16/2017, 10:15:08 PM1 votes

Does that mean I get my old Sion back?

paisy2/16/2017, 10:31:34 PM1 votes

Don't worry, Yasuo is getting deleted on the 30th

IA9hRfpP5q2/17/2017, 4:29:42 PM1 votes

I mean Camille's ult prevents flashing over. ITS STRONGER THAN A SUMMONER SPELL.

So yeah.

IA9hRfpP5q2/17/2017, 5:05:44 PM1 votes

come play SMITE with me, every game has balance issues but at least SMITE is fun!