Give terrible advice about playing your main.
As 
, always rush 
. That way you never need to use your ult on yourself and can always use it on the carry.
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ALWAYS save your ult for assassinations. Build full damage. Never build tanky and use your ult as a disruptive tool in a teamfight, always save it to last-hit that one carry while doing absolutely nothing.
Build full health. Your heal's cost scales with it, so the heal must too right?
Collect as many chimes as possible, fuck your carry, invaded jungle for more chimes.
.
I don't main Bard tho, but still.
Your passive activates when you die, so make sure to not build any defensive stats whatsoever in order to fully utilize it.
has 2 AP scaling, but only 1 HP scaling. So build a lot of ap!
His E costs quite a bit, so be sure to build as much mana to spam it as much as possible
Sea World is a happy place, you'll like it there.
Never take red, blue or baron buffs on 
so they will have a harder time distinguishing you from your clone!
: Max Move Quick for chasing.
Has a 1.0 ratio on her Parry [E], so build as much AP as possible. Start off with 
so you can activate it during your ult to become untargetable.
When hiding in a bush, always use your W when enemies walk past so you can be certain they don't see you and won't know you are there.
Most important thing to know about Quinn. Your ultimate has a ton of damage, so always make sure you dive headfirst onto the tank at the start of every teamfight that you have it. That way, you can deal a bunch of damage to the tank, and your team should be able to follow up on it
What ever you do don't spin... it will make Garen Dizzy.
Swain is notoriously hard to last hit with, so build as much AD as possible for the first 40 minutes. This will help you solve that problem. Then you can start farming creep to transition into a full AP build.
-
has no legs so never build 
on her. Especially this 
. She isn't a sorcerer, she's a snake. So, be sure to build two 
and just go to the river and keep walking back and forth since that's what snakes do. -
is technically a vampire so rush 
into 
since he drinks so much blood. -
is a tree so never build
or 
. Save a tree, prevent forest fires. -
is blind. So be sure to get him some eyes: 
With the new changes to 
's ult, he wont be able to go in, assassinate a target and get out anymore with out being blown up. So you should build full tank now. I recommend the following items...
With this build he should find his way back into the current meta as the assassin he was intended to be.
Max E first so you can get your stun up faster for very little mana. Stun will be up by the time you get back in lane. Also free damage if they attack you with shield up. Always keep it up.
Positioning your ball for an ult might be hard, and isn't always guaranteed. To guarantee that your ultimate will hit the enemy(s), just walk up the the target(s) with the ball on you.
Start E. Max E first. Put no points in q, q is shit. Evolve ult, then W, then E. Take CV + clarity because you will get mana starved otherwise. Start chickens. Never gank. Build full tank, because you're a beetle not a praying mantis.
As 
, build straight tank and no damage. You're made of metal, you gotta be as hard as metal. Also, always ult their support! If you can get their support on your team, you'll be able to protect your ADC even better.
Being drunk makes you a better 
player (fat is optional).
: Max 
to lower the cd and use it more often
and 
is core, you need to be auto'ing non stop in team fights. (Note this is actually something I see people do, stop please...pure AP or Tanky AP is so much better)
Start Sanguine Pool (W) on the laning phase Because u are a boss and use your ultimate ONLY to wave clear...
No matter what happens never use spinning axes (Q), always last hit minions normally.
Instead of maxing Rend (E) or Pierce (Q) max Sentinel (W) and NEVER use her passive to kite...
Build all the AD u can cuz her Death Lotus (R) and Sinister Steel (W) have good Ad ratios..
build ad her autos do so muc damage just look at them there tese huge balls of ice and frost
(but no seriously riot do something abouth that animation or something looks like crap)
i think this mobafire guide sums it up: http://www.mobafire.com/league-of-legends/build/pro-chogath-high-elo-over9000-401374
Play early game like you are in control of the lane. Frequently harass and zone your lane opponent.
On 
make sure you pull their fed bruisers and tanks in order to take out their most important champions first
also make sure to knock up their support instead of their assassin
Always use your Q on your allies, it will speed them up
: Build AD and armor, go Top, and focus on leveling your W for the Armor Penetration, Then your Heal for extra sustain, finally your stun is last priority just for the stun.
Wait a minute that's a thing?... http://33.media.tumblr.com/3d53a347c0f572a3ac8c36200f436cd2/tumblr_nmawy69iox1uoh41fo1_500.gif
always start Q and use for farming. Also be sure to place it right where the enemy is current standing.
always use her link on the top laner for team fights
you do the most when your dead so turret dive and die a much as possible to ensure this make sure you always are getting hit by minions and sense you dont need mana when ur dead just build 6 
Stick to your own jungle.
As 
, Make sure your shield is used to keep your tank alive. That way they can sustain more damage and tank for longer. Same goes for your W and your R.
In a 1v1? Use MaNtra Q In a team fight with low durability champions? Use Mantra Q
ALWAYS USE MANTRA Q
Make sure you practice being a ward often.
Its important to gain vision of the enemy. But don't be seen while you're level 1 at 30 minutes or they'll know you're a ward and you'll have to surrender because you gave away your master plan.
Spam your heal in lane
Make sure to also max your heal because your spamming it
Max Q last
Take 
, but sell it when you have enough money to buy 
the active is op
Don't build 
or any ap items, build full tank
Funfact, people actually do this and it hurts
Upgrade Q over E and get lich bane. You won't regret it.
Build a luden's echo, it will help you with being slow, it combos with your w, and you can do aoe damage with your axes.