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A List Of Things Champions (And Summoners) Are No Longer Allowed To Do At The Institute

metriccybernetic·12/31/2014, 5:31:26 PM·4 votes·2,798 views

(If the list reaches over 50 entries, I'll add them to a Gdoc and post the link here.)

In this spirit of: This And this

You are encouraged to make fun of your Summoner ID.

Let me begin.

  1. Running down the main hallway screaming 'THE VOID CHAMP IS LOOSE' is prohibited unless one has actually escaped.

1a. Attempting to release a Void Champion from containment in order to 'make it legit' is right out. 1ai. Especially if it's Malhazar. It took a week to clear out the Voidlings. 1aii. You are not allowed to refer to someone as 'the Void Champ' to try and circumvent these rules.

1b. Vel'Koz's reaction to being called the 'Flying Spaghetti Monster' was funny exactly once. The second time took half an hour, four champions, and a banana to get him back in his cell. Yes, it was glorious. It was also a waste of bloody time. 1bi. Vel'Koz does not possess the All Seeing Eye, no matter how much he tries to persuade you otherwise. Who even gave him this idea? 1bii. Taunting Vel'Koz in any manner whilst he is not on the Fields will be locked in a cage with him for 3 minutes considered its own punishment. Addendum - Don't do it guys, it's not worth it. - Summoner 'Metric'

1c. On an unrelated note, Summoners are discouraged from shouting 'I've seen enough anime to know where this is going' every time Vel'Koz ends up laning against a female champion of any description. How this applies to Rek'Sai, we don't want to know. 1ci. I said we DON'T want to know. Whoever drew that godsforsaken mural in the Mess Hall, clean it up NOW. 1cii. This includes Nashor teamfights.

  1. If your idea involves Baron Nashor doing anything outside the Fields, no. 2a. Due to recent events, the above has been amended to: if your idea involves Baron Nashor, no.

2b. Especially if it makes you giggle.

2c. Even if you have a petition with more than 200 signatures. 2ci. Even if said petition has every single Champion's signature. How in the Hells did you get Sona to agree to this?! 2cii. We don't care if the damned High Summoners have signed it, NO.

26 Comments

psychowafflezz1/12/2015, 1:28:12 AM3 votes
  1. Please refrain from carrying foam practice weapons on your person when near Irelia. 1a. Also, please refrain from mentioning the name of the manufacturer of said foam weapons when within earshot of Irelia. We don't need another mental breakdown happening, last time it took 15 champions to restrain her, and Morello almost got sliced in half. 1b. When a new set of update notes is released by the High Summoners, Irelia is to be regarded with extreme caution for the next few days, as she is EXTREMELY prone to panic attacks during this time. Do not attempt to make any jokes relating to balance if you don't plan on ending up in the medical ward on life support for 3 months like psychowafflezz.
  2. Please do not use any of the fire-related champions to cook food. I don't care if Brand's chest makes perfect bacon, are the third-degree burns really worth it?
  3. Do not, under any circumstances, remove Tibbers from Annie's possession. I don't think I need to explain why stealing an 8-year old pyromaniac's stuffed animal is a bad idea. 3a. If Tibbers is stolen and you are found to be the culprit, you will be banned from summoning for a month receive a punishment of Annie's choice. 3ai. "I don't think I've ever had a more-life threatening experience that involved a preschooler." -psychowafflezz
  4. Please stop making Dark Souls jokes at Leona. It stopped being funny after the first time, and Leona has stated that anyone she hears making another one will receive "the worst sunburn of their lives."
manliestdino1/2/2015, 6:57:37 AM3 votes

  1. Please do not take champion's pets or weapons. 1a. Especially Tibbers. No matter how much you want a flaming bear.

    1b. Nidalee only has one spear. Only one. Yes, we know she looks like she has a million.

    1c. And no, you cannot take Zac's whole body.

1d. We are not responsible for what happens to you if you take Gnar's boomerang. Or Tryndamere's blade. Or Bristle. Or Katarina's knife. Or Rengar's stabby tool.
Embertine1/2/2015, 6:27:45 AM3 votes

  1. Summoners, all rage based champions must be kept calm at all times.

    1a. Refrain from taking away Gnar's treats during snack time. 1ai. If you see someone attempting to take away Gnar's treats stop them immediately.

    1b. Do not Question Shyvana about her conception, no matter how curious, (or perverted,) you are. (This goes especially for you Embertine.) 1bi. Asking Shyvana about her once a month "Cycle" will result in possible demotion, and/or banning from the League. whatever punishment Shyvana chooses to deal out. Addendum - She beat me black and blue and left third degree burns on me. Must not have been during the cycle or I woulda been killed! - Summoner 'Embertine'

    1c. Only feed Renekton chicken, red meats drive his predatory instinct. 1ci. Do not try to place Renekton and Alistar in the same room, no matter how funny you think it will be.

    1d. Do not prod or poke Rek'sai while she is in her cage. (There was a big mess that had to be cleaned up after the last one messed with her. Tunnels and blood everywhere.) 1di. Turning off the lights does not keep Rek'sai from "seeing" you. 1dii. If Rek'sai is found out of her cage, immediately stop moving! Rek'sai can only see you if you are moving. Teleport or Flash to safety immediately!

  2. Attempting to "Breed" Champions is strictly prohibited.

    2a. Trying to convince Shyvana to find a dragon to mate with for a 3/4 dragon offspring is prohibited. (We're talking to you Embertine.)

    2b. During mating season Nidalee is to be locked in a secure room when out of match and is only to be approached by female summoners.

    2c. During mating season Ahri is to be locked in a secure room when out of match and is only to be approached by female summoners. not to be approached by anyone!

    2d. Attempting to breed more Teemos is prohibited over all other things. (Seriously there's more than enough with just the one!)

Shynkle12/31/2014, 7:15:02 PM2 votes

My turn :D

  1. Shurima champions do not have any monarchical power at the institute, nor are they gods. 1i. If they call you any names such as "fool" or "weakling", please just brush it off. 1a. Nasus and Renekton are to be kept in separate rooms at all times. 1b. Azir is not allowed to be in possession of his staff unless on the Fields of Justice. 1c. Do not, under any circumstances, call Nasus a "good boy" or refer to him as a dog. 1ci. If you do the above, nobody at the Institute of War is responsible for the consequential injuries.
Sachabot1/2/2015, 12:16:18 AM2 votes
  1. Summoners are henceforth forbidden from taking Gnar and dunking him in water.

1a. Also, quit feeding him after midnight.

1b. No matter how much he begs.

1c. You will be made to clean up after him.

  1. Please refrain from giving Vel'koz suggestions as to what he can do with his appendages.

2a. Especially if it involves a female champion.

2b. Summoner Baelor, this means you.

  1. Zac is not any sort of food, and has politely petitioned that Summoners not carry spoons around when he has a match.

3a. I do not care how good he tastes.

  1. Do not replace Zigg's bombs with tomatoes.

4a. Or oranges.

NineballCirno1/3/2015, 3:08:08 AM2 votes

  1. The only things that Lux has stolen are Morgana's dark binding and information from the Noxian High Command. She has not stolen any precious things. 1a. Do not try to replace her wand with a octagonal block of wood 1ai. Especially since said block caused her Final Spark to destroy several walls in the institute 1aii. Replacing all of Lux's clothing with black and white outfits is not allowed either. 1b. Yes, Lux is a girl capable of using magic. No, that does not mean that she made a contract to become a magical girl.

  2. Orianna does not test people with promises of cake nor does she have access to neurotoxin. 2a. She does not fight shadows on a regular basis either.

  3. Due to an incident involving Nasus and Renekton, any sibling team events have been cancelled. 3a. Yes, Morgana, that also includes baking.

frenchdavid501/16/2015, 12:01:20 AM2 votes

  1. Taunting any champion under any circumstance is prohibited.

    1a. This applies ESPECIALLY to Veigar and short jokes. We have lost too many good young summoners to this.

    1b. This applies SUPER ESPECIALLY to Gnar. We have lost too many good buildings to this.

    1c. Don't call any void champion anything. Just, don't.

    1d. Giving champions nicknames, no matter how "funny" they are, is prohibited. 1di. This applies ESPECIALLY to Rengar and any nicknames involving "cat". Do you really want Runeterra's biggest hunter after you?

BlazeRiver1/6/2015, 12:27:52 AM1 votes

  1. You are not allowed to lock feuding champions together in the same room. Even if IoW magic is keeping them alive. 1b. No, I do not care if Leona and Diana look cute together. 1c. How did you even manage to put all that mistletoe in there?

  2. Don't leak the information you learned from mucking about in a champion's head. 2a. I said, it's for your own safety. 2b. Oh, now that you have Talon hunting you down you want protection, do you. 2c. Even if it's funny. 2d. No, you can't tell Shyvanna that Quinn has a crush on Prince Jarvan. 2e. Wait, why do I smell roast turkey? And roast human?

Spooky Spooker1/7/2015, 1:37:20 AM1 votes

1 Singed is NOT allowed to run. If he does do NOT chase him. 2 Twitch isnt a good cook no matter what he tells you 3 Teemo can not plant mushrooms everywhere 4 Do not let jinx show you "magic" ( It took half the champs to clean that up)

Ironclad Dragon1/7/2015, 4:23:02 AM1 votes

Don't feed Trundle, no matter how much he begs.

EliteGunm4n1/7/2015, 4:25:48 AM1 votes

  1. Volibear is not for riding. 1a. Sejuani is to kept separate from Volibear while Bristle is bathing/sleeping/occupied. 1ai. Sejuani's room should be locked at night and only opened upon her verbal request (Who knew she sleep-walked) 1aii. For the last time Sejuani, do not RIDE VOLIBEAR!!!

  2. Gambling in the Institute is strictly forbidden. 2a. Any champion soliciting others for gambling will forfeit their gold in the next match. 2b. Gambling on the rift is also prohibited 2bi. We know Garen is gullible but really Darius! "Spin to Win!" That was the best name you came up with.

  3. No one is to arm wrestle Sion. 3a. For any reason. 3b. Ever.

Caetoma1/16/2015, 1:58:34 AM1 votes

  1. Summoners are not to approach Nausus, Renekton, Rek'Sai, nor Rammus during their respective mating cycles

    1a. Both Nausus and Renektons cycles will be announced before hand as theirs are on a 100 year turn

    1ai. When the announcement is made, do not under any circumstance approach either of them until a week has past. During this period both are to be kept within their rooms at all times.

    1aii. Upon seeing either out of their rooms during this time frame, report immediately to the nearest High Summoner. For your own safety, both the spells teleport and flash are allowed to be used outside the fields of justice without consequence.

    1aiii. Absolutely do not hesitate to use these spells if they try to approach you. As they will not be able to discriminate between male and female summoners.

    1b. Rek'Sai likewise to the aforementioned two above will be kept within a specially made room during her period of heat.

    1bi. If by any chance you find that Rek'Sai has escaped her confinement, you are to immediately transport yourself to a bunker that is placed high above the institute and set off the alarm placed there to alert all other summoners of her escape.

    1bii. Do NOT go near any tunnel you might find after the alarm has been set off. The Xer'Sai have been known for killing creatures near their tunnel openings in order to prepare for mating. We have already lost 3 summoners this way.

    1c. Although Rammus is the most tame out of the the beings who come from Shurima, do not try to fraternize with him during this time. There is already currently a summoner being treated in the medical ward for violation this offence.

  2. Do not ask Alistar for fresh milk.

     2a. Do not continue to ask for milk after he has said no the first time.

 2ai. Do not try to obtain milk from Alistar yourself. We will not be held accountable for what happens next nor will pay for your medical bills regarding your glutenous maximums transplant.

 2b. No Summoner Caetoma, asking for milk from the other champions is also not allowed.

 2bi. Especialy from Ahri

 Addendum: **Do not ask for fresh milk from Ahri, she will ask for your milk in turn. -Summoner Caetoma**
Vauren1/1/2015, 3:22:55 AM1 votes

2: Exist

Toast Busters1/1/2015, 10:17:41 PM1 votes
  1. Please do not attempt to eat the Poro-Snax. They are for the consumption of neither champions nor summoners. Their sole purpose is for feeding the Poros of Howling Abyss. 1a. Yes, Kog'Maw, this means you.

1b. No, eating the Snax will not make you a Poro. 1bi. Do not taunt Lulu's companion with Poro-Snax. She will, on the other hand, make you a Poro.

1c. Poros are not snacks, either. They may be similar in appearance to marshmallows, but do not eat them either. 1ci. Spit it out, Kog'Maw. Spit it out.

1d. Do not attempt to lure Poros away from the Abyss using Poro-Snax. It is their home, and an invasion of Poros in Summoner's Rift will not be tolerated. 1di. This rule does not apply to Malzahar, Sejuani, Orianna or Lulu, as they have specially trained Poro companions.

Mahnigguh1/2/2015, 2:20:55 PM1 votes
  1. Due to an incident last week involving groovy Zilean and Teemo and a shortage of antibiotics in the infirmary, Teemo Shrooms (while at the institute) should be limited the garden area or the greenhouse.

1a. Groovy Zilean and Teemo are not to be left alone unchaperoned at any time.

1b. Due o the high number of pink wards that will be being handed out until the institute has fully recovered from the incident, we ask that summoners refrain from placing them in inappropriate places (i.e. women's locker room, Viktor's planning room, etc.)

1c.Summoners and champs alike should refrain from eating shrooms with the intent of having extrasensory experiences. Any recreational use of shrooms will result in the perpetrator being sentenced to a weeks worth of training sessions with Syndra' filling in for one of her magical orbs.

biomaster1/4/2015, 6:56:27 AM1 votes

Rule 1- officers vi and caitlin are not allowed to try and capture jinx within the institute. 1a jinx and any of her companions/significant others are alowed to retaliate and or provoke fights with the above officers 1ai this means you shaco 1b due to a certain attempt at the officers lives shaco is no longer alowed to create clones and must carry a pink ward on him at all times.

Rule 2- vladimir is not to be allowed any champion that begins to bleed 2a this also means he is not allowed to administir first aid 2ai this does include bandages 2aii he can however administir what first aid he can on champions from the shodow isles 2b due to particularly tense moments involving vlad and numerous female champions you are now urged to avoid him if having a period 2bi PLS we do not need to know if you ARE having a period, nor do you have to give us a detailed calender of said periods 2bii due to certain actions by ahri any person found to have knowingly or repeatdly break rule 2b shall be punished by solitary confinement for 24 hours (cmon ahri vlads got a problem hes trying to get under control)

Rule 3 Warwick is to be let out from the institute on a full moon (cant stand the howling) he must be supervised by a summoner 3a eating said summoner will result in puposful starving 3b summoners are not to try and assist warwick in obtaining a celestials heart 3bi this means you biomaster

Rule 4 no one is alowed in fiddlesticks chamber 4a due to reason witheld by fiddles biomaster and anyone he gives permission to are allowed to enter 4ai anyone found trying to find out whatever biomaster and his subsequent champions do in there will be punished by being allowed to continue doing so and receive their inevitable deaths.

Astral Zephyroro1/4/2015, 2:09:11 PM1 votes

Rule 1- Due to recent budget costs (and recent health inspections) we are no longer allowed to let the Champions use the kitchens for cooking. 1a: Singed is no longer allowed in the kitchens due to ....reasons 1ai: Singed is no longer allowed in the cafeteria/dining hall on any occasions 1aii: Singed will now be allowed in the dining hall only when we are having a summoners meeting/presentation and only under the strictest of supervision 1aiii: Singed is no longer allowed withing 100 meters of the East Wing where the cafeteria and dining hall is located.

Rule 2- Fraternizing among champions is strictly prohibited within the institutes walls. Under no circumstances will this be allowed and should it happen it will be dealt with swiftly. 2a: Ahri is no longer allowed in the men's dormitory before or after curfew. 2ai: Ahri is no longer allowed in the women's dormitory. 2aii: Ahri is no longer allowed in the North or West Wing where the dormitories are located. If anyone is caught sneaking into, out of, or assisting Ahri in doing either will be banned from the institute along with Ahri

Rule 3- Asking Beatrice (Swains Raven) if "Polly wants a cracker" is now a punishable offense. We leave it up to Beatrice to decide the punishment

2nd Fiddle1/5/2015, 2:33:15 PM1 votes

  1. We are allowed to summon Vi to combat on the fields of justice, not to open a jar of pickles.

  2. By request of Braum, the poropult is to be dismantled and all blueprints destroyed.

  3. No longer allowed to instigate a tug-o-war between Thresh and Blitzcrank. 3a. Gambling on who will win is also unacceptable.

  4. Tristana and Ziggs are to be informed that the production and use of fireworks at the institute are restrained to the Lunar Revel.