UNRELEASED PATCH 4.2.1 CHAMPION NOTES!
Hey, um so I found these... dunno if they were meant to be on the internet or not... bit odd... but enjoy, they seem to be the original 4.2.1 patch notes for all the champion changes
Rek’Sai
Definitely Not Broodmother: We’ll be rolling out Rek’Sai, the Void Burrower this patch! Get ready to bury your elo back into the Bronze Void bracket.
Azir
Bird Is The Word: It appears that we released Azir too Soon™, and he wasn’t finished. Ossirian Azir will be returning to Ahn’Qiraj the Summoner’s Rift completely fixed.
Eye See You: This patch we’ll also be releasing a ‘Mordor’ skin for Azir, complete with Eye Of Sauron tower skin.
Cassiopeia
Like Teemo But Feminine: Added confusing Mejai’s Soulstealer changes to Cassiopeia’s passive. Just to confuse that one guy playing her on free week even more. Riot pls.
Cho’Gath
CHOGAT MID OR FEED: We noticed that nobody plays Cho’Gath, so we’ve removed it from the game to help the servers cope. He had a big file size. Like the biggest file size.
Corki
Never Was So Much Given To Such An Underplayed Carry: Added the new champion Corki. What do you mean he’s been in the game five years?
Diana
One Letter Away From Backdoor-ing: Added a new passive ‘Diana now pulls or pushes Nami’s Tidal Wave to or from her, depending on the game duration, alternating Pull and Push every five minutes. Science.’
Fiddlesticks
Fix, Six: Fiddlesticks has been seen to be a very powerful jungler recently. To scale him back Fiddlesticks must now collect fifty sticks from the jungle before he is allowed to ultimate. Only one stick may spawn every ten minutes.
Rush Boots of Mobility.
Gali(le)o
He’s Just A Poor Gargoyle, From A Poor Family: Due to the lack of anyone to be able to pick Galio properly against an enemy team composition, we’ve compensated by granting Galio ten thousand starting gold. Just so he can scaramoush faster.
Whatever that means.
Deathwing IV
Just Cos I’m A King: When Cataclysm is next cast, we’ll be entirely changing the Summoner’s Rift map to compensate.
Jax
No Surprise, He’s Powerful: Counter Strike’s player base has been reduced to allow more people to experience League Of Legends.
Thanks Valve.
Iron Man
Hyper Charge: Jayce’s ‘Hyper Charge’ has been reworked – ‘Jayce now summons a group of ten year olds that have all just had Ben and Jerry’s ice cream. A LOT of Ben and Jerry’s ice cream.’
Jinx
No More Talking: Removed all of Jinx’s voice acting sound files.
Kenneth
‘En’ Sucks: Changed Kennen’s name to Kenneth. ‘Kenneth, the Heart of the Tempest’ sounds funnier.
Lucian
Less Windows: Lucian now has less windows of opportunity, as we’ve reduced the duration of his passive buff from three to six seconds, to break into the lead and steal a win from the jaws of defeat, as he is incredibly powerful.
Nocturne
We’d Like To Talk About His ‘E’ But We Can’t: It’s horrific.
Pantheon
I Can’t Even Mock This: Someone explain this to me? Who came up with this?
Rengar
He’s Bleeding On The Keyboard: We ripped the teeth out of the guy who badly coded the Bonetooth Necklace Warding Totem, to give all Rengar’s a fully stacked Bonetooth Necklace at level one to compensate.
Sejuani
Boaring: A previously laboarious champion to play in any role or lane, so we added extra damage to her True Ice Boarla.
Shen
He’s Been Training: Shen now has an invisible model. He’s pretty badass at being a ninja.
Shyvanna
Rune Armour: Upon slaying Shyvanna players may now equip the ‘Rune Plate Armour’ item, from the General Store, now only one thousand GP.
Soraka
Running Down The Stairs: Added more bananas.
Varus
Love At First Sight: The new ‘Heartseeker Cupid Varus’ skin will be released later in patch 4.2.1! Warwick
He’s A Bit Weak: We’ve decided to buff Warwick with more damaging, devastating, delirious, delectable, desolate, dictionaries to dispose of his delightedly damning enemies with a fantastic vocabulary!
Only joking.
Hah.
Yasuo
OBJECTION!: Given Yasuo a Hattori Hanzo sword. It’s sharp.
Reeeeaaaally sharp.
Flubber
GOOD MORNING VIETNAM: RIP Robin Williams, you’re missed
