Critical Losing streak

Looks like this is that rare 10+ losing streak in a row. Did not count remake. So yeah yesterday and today is basically a garbage day. And of course i am always blamed for it. A single drop of toxicity from an average LOL player is more then enough to tilt me even more, even trying to do my best and careful at the same time so yeah, most of the time i try to even backup teamate who gets in trouble. the results getting harrassed late or mid game for a simple mistake or even not of my own. but i am the one who pay the price. I'm multi trick dragon, basically i main every lane except mid. and most of my mains already got a chest and, because of my hated job and being always solo i always can find a chest but never do. So i usualy play champ that i know basic and some advance mechanics.

But yeah i start to even lose interest in the only game i play on my Broken old gen of a Brick PC... atleast drawing keeps me entertained until i lose the burn of motivation so quickly and the bigger the image the more unstable and crashes the app. but since i'm a ghost in the art, it rarely to none get noticed so yeah i also starting to lose interest in that and start to call it a failure. So yeah i don't bother to even finish a drawing and it felt in the void to be either cancelled/forgotten or ends up rushes and gets the same results as high and low quality drawing. The larger the Project the more attention it demands, if the demand cannot be achieved, it starves to death, to the point it even consumes my life essence.

no wounder why i chose Jhin as my primary main, we both alike, no one understand our art, no one sees our art... even both corrupted to point of insanity level. So many, countless talents in a single critical point but my potential is wasted, they are all being wasted. only time, hardware, and skill holds me back, chained to the ground, but i suppose to be powerful and free like a dragon