Reflections of a sad bronze player

Like a bunch of people out there I feel I'm stuck in bronze, and I honestly don't know what to do anymore. I main support but recently I mostly started playing mid. Part of my problem is that I really REALLY enjoy playing mages and "shielders". I don't play any of the hard carry assassins and bruisers, it's not my playstyle, which I know are the best way to get out. Yeah, if feels good to dash around and kill others with Ekko, but I don't find it nearly as enjoyable as a good Zyra combo or kiting and shielding people with Karma or Lulu.

My main strength is vision, when playing support my vision score is double or triple of that of other players. Sometimes even playing mid I have highest vision score.

First time I played ranked end of season 5, I was scared shitless and didn't know what I'm doing (despite playing normals only for well over a year) and I got placed in Silver 1. Season 5 I got placed in Silver 3, I started looking for people to play with because I was tired of the complaining and flaming in my games, and that's how I fell into bronze, by not queuing solo. As my adaptation and game knowledge were growing I was progressively falling down.

Majority of last season and this entire season I spent in bronze. I reached the "depths of hell" in bronze 5, but that was surprisingly easy to get out of with support Zyra. I hit the wall around bronze 2-3. Almost every time I get to 80+ LP or I'm in promos I get someone AFK, DC or just feed beyond redemption. I just had one such game, promos to bronze 2, I got first blood, not dying to ganks and all that while one (or both?) of the other lanes were merrily feeding and eventually inting. And yes, that happens, I know, and all I can do is focus on myself, but it's soul crushing. Got to promos to silver, failed twice, back to bronze 2. I know that people might have bad games, so that's cool, but it really feels like a curse that I get AFKs and intentional feeders during promos.

Ever since the new honor system got introduced at least I got a confirmation that I'm not as bad as I started to think I am, given that I get an honor over 50% of my games (I'd guess around 70%, but I'm not sure). It's pretty cool that out of all the other teammates in game someone thought I was helpful. so that definitely gives me a boost of confidence.

I accepted the fact that I belong in bronze with many others. But people tell me I do not play like a bronze player. So I'm confused. I'm not very mechanically skilled, but my map awareness and game knowledge are decent. With the latest transition to mid I usually win the lane, go help other lanes, and that's usually when I start dying. Actually, I feel that being in bronze made me improve tremendously, but I want to stop losing promos to AFKs and intentional feeders.

I don't believe I have the skills or I deserve to be in plat or gold, I don't always blame my team, I make plenty of mistakes and missteps myself. I had hopes of trying to get to gold this season, never though that would be easy, but I though I could. Now I'd be pretty happy around mid-silver. I just don't know how to get there, upper bronze seems to be filled with more trolls and awful people than low bronze.

I know the only thing I can do is to get better, and while I think that is happening simultaneously it just feels like a big waste of time. But it also feels that those few games that go well and the amazing friendly people I meet every now and then are totally worth trying.

Yup, that's it, I guess I just wanted to share that.