Em that's a lot of questions in one breath. But farming is just a matter of practice, getting used to your passive helps. It gives you some extra magic damage to every auto and a bonus to following autos on the same target. If the enemy misses their skillshots you can use E for shield and just auto attack them dealing more damage thanks to your passive.
Positioning depends on what you wish to do and what the enemy can do, i know this is a vague answer but different match ups play differently so it's kinda hard to say. In i lane i try to play passively if i don't know where the enemy jungle is, midlane is easy to gank after all so it's often better to be careful. But if i know the jungler to be somewhere i loosen up a bit can can go for trades. Ori Can proc thunderlord quite well with Q-W-AA but be careful of the enemy shooting back.
Also, Ori has excellent zoning via her orb (better so once she gets some mana), people are often going to do their best to stay away from it so it can be useful for controlling their movement.
The ulti....hm in lane a normal kill combo (when not fed ) Is poking to around 70-60% of enemy hp then going in with Q-R-W-AA-Q. Here the ulti is used to make sure the enemy get's stuck near the ball unable to escape from your autos and the second Q. However if the enemy survives you can E to yourself and then try to dodge any spells they throw at you while waiting for your next Q. But be aware that this combo costs a lot of mana.
In teamfights you have a few options, you can stick your ball to a teammate like Hecarim or maybe Rengar and have them jump into the enemy team pressing ulti as they are next to enemy carries. Other option is normal, throw it yourself when you can hit someone important or 3 people. it's situational really, it's most likely better to ulti a fed kha6 jumping into your ADC rather than 3 average bruisers behind him.
Finally, keep in mind that you don't actually need to stomp lane to be good. Ori was originally a teamfight mage who has gotten rather powerful following the nerfs of well...everyone else. Just staying alive and farming will let you pressure teamfights quite well. For builds the normal is morello - sorc boots - voidstaff/rabadon (depends on if enemy frontline has or is building magic resist or not) - then it's a matter of what you prefer mostly but rylai,zhonya and luden are all viable in most cases.