I've Got Some Cool New Champion Design Ideas for the Diversity & Inclusion Team :)

If you aren't living under a rock, chances are you've heard that Rito is putting together a new "Diversity & Inclusion" team (https://www.riotgames.com/en/who-we-are/our-first-steps-forward ). According to Rito, the new team "will impact every corner of this organization." I for one welcome these new overlords with open arms and wish them the best in their quest to achieve equity and social justice. I think champion design is one of the best places to start--it's 2018 and too much of the current roster fails to conform to progressive principles of diversity and inclusion.

With that in mind, I'd like to offer my humble suggestions to the Diversity & Inclusion team for new champs that will truly make league more diverse and inclusive. I apologize that these champion ideas are only rough concepts, but I believe that the Diversity & Inclusion team is more than capable of filling in the missing gaps.

Champion #1--Big Bertha: Beautiful at Any Size. Big Bertha is a tank from Mount Targon and a distant relative of Taric. In the same way Taric closely resembles the fashion supermodel Fabio, Big Bertha will a resemble an actual plus-size female fashion supermodel--Tess Holiday (if you are unfamiliar with Tess, do a Google image search of "Tess Holiday Cosmo Cover"). Through her unique body shape and size, Big Bertha shatters society's conventional standards of feminine beauty. Overall, she is a confident and sexy woman who knows that her 400 lb frame is an asset rather than a liability, even if she dies a premature death from heart disease or diabetes. Her trademark ability is PATRIARCHY SMASH!--an extremely powerful ultimate for teamfights. Upon casting the ability, Big Bertha launches herself toward the heavens like Galio and then hurls herself back to the earth. Nearby enemy champs take 500/750/1000 (+50% AP) true damage. If her ultimate kills an enemy champ, her cooldown is fully refunded and she can cast it again.

Champion #2--Emery Switch: the Gender Bender. Emery Switch is a non-binary gender shifter from Ionia. Emery Switch's preferred pronouns are "your majesty," "your highness," and "your excellency." Your majesty is a hyper carry marksperson who puts Kai'sa to shame. Emery Switch will be the first champion to have a dash, blink, AND teleport. Whenever Emery Switch dashes, blinks, or teleports, your majesty will change change from male to female, female to male, or one of the 266 genders in between. **She has two unique passives. Passive 1 is GENDER SHIFT: whenever Emery Switch changes genders, your majesty gains a five second burst of bonus MS, AS, and AD. Passive 2 is PRONOUN BLUNDER: whenever an enemy champion fails to address your majesty by the correct pronoun, Emery Switch gains a seven second burst of bonus MS, AS, and AD. **

Champion #3--Yokohantas: the Cultural Appropriation Warrior. Yokohantas is powerful jungler that hails from Damacia. She is very adamant that all cultures are equal and that it is wrong for a champion in one culture to take some tool or ability from another culture and use it in any way. Her unique ability will be APPROPRIATION ADMONITION--an ability that will allow her to strip abilities from champions for a certain period of time and allow her to use them against them. For example, Yokohantas could gank a lane with Ashe. Yokohantas would realize that Ashe's bow and arrow are stolen technology from a nomadic tribe. Appropriation Admonition would disable all of Ashe's abilities with the appropriated technology and Yokohantas could cast Ashe's abilities against her. If you're worried that Yokohantas is performing cultural appropriation with her ability, don't worry--it's not appropriation when you're using it to punish the original offender!

Champion #4--Malawa: the Social Justice Avenger. Malawa is a melee champ who is also latinx and openly lesbian. She is a refugee who fled a war-torn region conquered by Noxus. Her passive is CHECK YOUR PRIVILEGE. If Malawa lands a basic attack on a champion who is male, she gets a 50% critical strike chance. If she lands a basic attack on a champion who is a white male, she gets a 75% critical strike chance. And if she lands a basic attack on a champion who is a straight white male, she gets a 100% critical strike chance. Those fools such as Garen, Darius, Yasuo, and Draven don't stand a chance! Haha! She'll also have an ability called EQUITY SHIELD, some type of wall or screen that blocks incoming projectiles. If a straight/white/male champion is in the area, the size of the wall or screen will be increased in size and duration.

I'm curious. Does anyone else have any cool champion ideas that would improve diversity and inclusion???