The new player experience sucks, so much

Gotta agree. Was just playing with a lower level friend. First game the enemy Xayah was racist, inting, and trolling. Second game our team had two AFKs and one of them was trolling.

he wanted to nuke the enemy team with the opie ult scalings

That's called ''discovering the game''

I know I used to play with 2x Wriggle Lantern and I had fun lul.

Sorry to break it for you but most games have shitty new player experience.