let's have a little chat about malzahar

Malzahar at level 3 can 1v2 two players at the same health as him and win with no effort or attempt to dodge.

Now that I've started out with this statement, let's ignore that fact and move on for now.

Malzahar has gotten a lot of hate for a long time now. Back when he was a bit simpler, he was known for making lanes a farm-lane, where he would simply farm till 6 and melt people with zero problem. Even with nerfs, he continued to do stupid amounts of damage, even to assassins who are supposed to be his counters. How do I know this? Because my friend, who was maining yasuo at that time and climbed from bronze 5 to silver 1 with him in two weeks, lost against every single malzahar.

Not old malzahar mind you, new malzahar.

Old malz didn't bring out his pets as often or pump them up as often, and it took some effort and skill to throw down his pool and ult at the correct times. Now his ult effortlessly combines the two, he has a passive that gives him protection from the first spell cast every certain amount of seconds (basically a banshee's veil on a very short cooldown), and he still has a point and click spell that dore more damage over time than an annie Q.

Now, I know what you're thinking..."malzahar isn't op, he's easily countered! you're just bad at the game and salty because you got your butt whipped when you tried to gank him". And, to be fair, you're not far off.

The only difference is that I'm not salty because he's op, even though 95 percent of the community, aggregate statistic sites such as lolbuilder, and most professional players agree, it's because he's boring.

Playing against a malzahar is like playing against a heimerdinger that does more damage and can move.

He pushes the lane up constantly, which you'd think leave him open for a lot of ganks, but whenever you gank, he just lets his minion wave deal some damage, auto you twice, and ignore any cc move thrown his way...he has no escape, but he doesn't need one, because he shrugs off any cc move you jump into lane with. So you resort to ignoring the lane till a teamfight happens and he is forced to blow his load on one person, which he does an inevitably gets a kill out of it, and you swarm him and it's over. Normally, not a problem.

But the laner ends up getting outtraded every single time they go in, they can't farm because malz just keeps pushing, and they end up either being useless till late game, having to roam and steal jg creeps/kills from other lanes, or they afk/rage/get toxic.

The result is a game where you can only use two of the lanes, have someone shouting at you to gank the malzahar they fed, and a malzahar who makes matters worse by taunting your teammate/your whole team in all-chat. Reports don't do jack, so what is left?

Grind your way through an annoying, boring, craptastic game that gets worse each passing minute.

"but wait, why don't you just push other lanes or gank malz every 5 minutes with your entire team?"

good question person-who-most-likely-is-a-malzahar-main, you see, I'd love to do that, but it doesn't really matter what I do or don't do. Malzahar is like Nasus in the sense that he only gets harder to kill the further you go in the game, and he will always do a lot of damage in late game, even if he only has half the items you do, because he works off of percentage health damage that scales off ap. Because of this, it's far easier to simply either 1. ff at 20 like a normal person, or 2. gank the malzahar exclusively all game with at least one other person and go for a mid rush. If you're lucky, the malzahar will be just brain dead enough for you to win, although I wouldn't count on that working either, seeing as it doesn't take a rocket scientist to press two buttons every time they come up.

Now what conclusion can we draw from this, dear readers?

Malzahar is cancer. Pure and utter cancer. More than the league community, more than me, and more than dynamic queue. He's boring, has very few to no exploitable weaknesses, and is currently the best champion in league of legends right now.

Don't believe me? Look at lolbuilder.net and see who is at or near the top in winrates, popularity, and banrates...malzahar. Even bronzies can own with this guy.

That being said, if you don't mind being cancerous and horrible, abuse him every time you can in ranked, you'll be guaranteed to make Challenjour that way, I'm sure.