WTF is this damage?

Haven't played in years and then I come back and it's just braindead no skill faceroll. Defensive stats are literally worthless, everything one shots you and there's no point in playing anything but the most braindead "slap your face on the keyboard to delete people" champions. Is this seriously what Riot wants? A no skill game where whoever rolled their face across the keyboard first deletes you in two abilities? Maybe three if you built full tank? No thanks, have fun with that ADHD zoomer shit, I'm out.