Nautilus Versus Wukkong (Comedy story

To view what happened in the last story! (Previous chapter http://boards.na.leagueoflegends.com/en/c/fancreations/MVk0VEEa-nautiluss-archenemy-leesin-comedy-fan-fict?sort_type=best

After being temporarily banned from the Chicken Feathers tavern in the Institute of war, Nautilus returned to his home in Bilgewater. His house, if you can call it that, was an abandoned boat warehouse that was once a small port house used to repair ships and shipping equipment, but now it only stored forgotten ship parts. Nautilus had converted this abandoned structure to his home when he returned to the city, almost two years ago.

Nautilus staggered to the front doors of the warehouse to find that the chains locked onto the door to keep outsiders out was taken off. The skeptical giant pulled the horizontal doors open, casting a glimmer of light into the old structure.

As he walked through his house, the roof sixty feet up, rusty chains hanging from the rafters above shook as Nautilus caused the ground to tremble with his heavy footsteps. Naut took a firm grasp of the chains holding his anchor and pulled the metal hook from the ground, hauling it over his shoulder. Something did not feel right. He advanced through his house, searching, until he came upon his dining room, a strangely neat and organized room with a small tea table in the center. A bar counter and fridge ran across the wall, and a small picture of Nautilus and Annie enjoying some tea was hanging off of the wall. The giant remembered that he had left his favorite food, porridge, waiting for him in the fridge when he had left. The Titan's stomach growled, and he immediately forgot about the disturbance. He swung his anchor off of his shoulder and set it onto the ground so that he would have both hands free to open the fridge, but to Nautilus's dismay, he found that his fridge was empty! Looking around in a small fit of anger, he noticed that there was his porridge, empty, eaten, on the table! A ominous echoing growl was heard as Nautilus's rage subsided! He lifts his anchor off of the ground and throws it back over his shoulder, going to investigate the rest of his house.

Twenty minutes passed, and Nautilus had searched every inch of his house except the living room and his bedroom. He staggered into the living room, a small refurbished break room transformed into a lovely man cave. Three book cases ran against the wall, the shelves were full of sailing books, boat books, and cook books; in fact there was a single book that labeled, "Knitting: For Stay at Home Men." A huge, worn out arm chair that was over thirteen feet tall was obviously Nautilus's chair. The arm chair seemed to have been stitched together from over a dozen other chairs to compensate holding a few tons of metal. In the corner of the room there was also a ping pong table with only one paddle.

Looking around the room, Nautilus sighed. His growling ended for a moment. Then he noticed that the pillow on the base of the chair had been moved! It sat on the floor across the room! Someone had sat in his chair! Overthrown with more rage, he started to make his way to his bedroom!

He made way through the house until he found a large metal door. The door had been modified to be able to fit Nautilus, and it was a double entry door. The metal portal was cracked down the center; it was pushed open recently. Someone had entered his room. Nautilus set his large gloved hand on the door and shoved it open! Light shone into the pitch dark room, revealing the interior of his bedroom. A large window that was covered with a tarp, book shelves, a treasure chest in the corner of the room containing only old clothing and one burrito, a fire place that was modified to not hold water but actually hold a large fish tank (this fish tank was full of various fish of various color and sizes), and, finally, one bed in the center back of the room against the wall. The bed was a heaving king-sized bed with metal reinforcements under it and a series of mattresses kept together with wood, nails, and glue, with a long black tarp for a blanket. A foreign person inside his bed!

Nautilus took a step into his room, his anger weighted into his heavy stomp, which shook the entire room! Books fell off of his shelves, and it rumbled the bed which the foreigner slept in. A grunt was heard, and the voice of an annoyed young teenager, or what seemed like it, was heard groaning under the blanket.

"Who is it?"

"GET UP!" Nautilus shouted! His voice was enough to carry an echo through the entire building!

"Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,” the voice spoke nonchalantly, and the stranger shuffled in Nautilus's bed for a few more moments before pulling himself out, revealing it was Wukong!

A tall, six foot tall monkey man, wearing not his normal armor, but a large blue nightgown.

Nautilus pulled the anchor off of his shouldered, and directed it towards Wukong, speaking menacingly.

"What are you doing wearing my nightgown?"

Wukong tiredly ran his left hand up to scratch his head as he yawned.

"What, this is yours? Oh. Sorry," he said nonchalantly.

Nautilus growled his anger towards the monkey.

"You break into my house, you eat my porridge, you sit in my favorite chair, and you sleep in my bed?! HOW DARE YOU!"

Wukong retorts with a witty grin.

"Oh, what are you and," He motioned to the anchor Nautilus was holding up at him. "Your friend going to do about it?" He mocked.

The black abyss that shrouded Nautilus's face started to heave and pulse! His piercing red eyes intensified, and he pulled his anchor up and shouted, "I'm going to peel you like a banana!"

Nautilus swung his massive anchor down at Wukong, but the monkey man was too swift! The anchor smashed into the ground, and the metal and wood floor cracked! Suddenly, a small duck shot out of Nautilus's large treasure box in the corner of the room, running in panicked circles! Nautilus swung his anchor to the right, and Wukong dodged to the left. Nautilus then struck a blow to the left, and Wukong countered to the right!

Wukong's back hit the wall, and he placed his hands on the wall! He leapt up a foot and pushed himself off of the wall, flying over Nautilus's head! This caused the giant to turn around and almost step on the duck! Wukong bolted out of the bedroom, and Nautilus pursued him! Once the two were in the center room, Wukong vanished. All that remained was Nautilus's large blue nightgown, which he wore over his armor when he slept, in the center of the ground. This sparked a though, is Wukong naked? After a few moments of looking for what seemed to be a ghost, Wukong reappeared, leaping down from the rafters; he wore his orange armor and wielded his long staff! The grin on his face was large and snarky.

"Come and get me, big guy."

"YOU ARE IN THE DEEP END NOW!" declared Nautilus as he made his charge!

Nautilus pulled his right arm up, planning to ram Wukong into the ground, but the moment his massive weight clashes with Wukong's body Nautilus just ran right through a gust of smoke! He had been tricked! Smoke filled the room, and so he started to swing his anchor blindly! He hit the wall, the table, the counter, the shelf, and a picture of a toe! Finally, the smoke lifted, and the giant took a moment to look around. Suddenly, a thick SLAM was felt! Nautilus staggered and turned! Wukong was behind him and offered little chance for Nautilus to ready an attack! Plop! after plop, after plop! His armor dented, and Nautilus backed up! Wukong dove down, and shoved his staff under Nautilus's boot, launching him into the air! Nautilus somehow was launched to far into the air; he was launched through the roof! A big, scuba suit-sized hole was now made in his lovely house! He crashed into his roof, not going through it. Wukong leapt up through the hole, and met Nautilus on his roof.

The diver was going to lose this one, and his anchor had been knocked too far from his grasp to be used as a weapon. This may be over for the Titan of the Depths. Suddenly, Nautilus heard a voice.

"Yarr!" Nautilus peered off of the roof and onto the city streets to find a lone man, a pirate. Not just any pirate, however, a pirate king! Gangplank! The pirate waved over at Nautilus and offered him a single nod.

"Take this, Nautilus, if you wish to have any hope to defeat that monkey!"

Gangplank then moved his hand to his beard, and ripped it right off of his face. He threw it up to Nautilus on the roof.

In return, Nautilus offered him a nod; nothing was more deeply understood between two men who lived a life of water, and a nod was all that needed to be said. Suddenly, Nautilus gets to his feet and leapt twenty feet in the air! He catches Gangplank's beard and places it onto his armored face, melding it into his person and gaining the powers of a pirate!

When Nautilus crashed back onto the roof, he turned to Wukong. The Monkey King was surprised to see that Nautilus had literally changed! A large eye patch covered one of the two beating red beams from his suit, his left hand had been replaced with an iron hook, and his pockets - my god his pockets - they were full of oranges! And he did not even have pockets a second ago!

Wukong shook his head.

"Nice trick, but your skills are still inferior!"

Nautilus shook his head.

"Nay, ye scurvy rat! Me powers be of the Plank!" And just like that, Nautilus raised his right hand. "Bear witness, ye scurvy sea rat!" he declared, and lowered his left hand to make some strange stance.

He then screamed,

"SECRET PIRATE ATTACK FIFTY SIX!"

He shoved his left hand into the rooftop, and when he pulled his hand out, he pulled an entire pirate ship out of the ground from thin air! Nautilus held the massive boat in one hand, and Wukong was flabbergasted! The Titan threw the boat at the Monkey King, causing a huge explosion! Even with all Wukong's agility, he was no match for the power of a pirate; such is the fate of all ninjas. The pirate ship dealt a fatal blow to Wukong. The entire thing exploded, not with wood and paper and gold, no, but with bananas, the life power of Wukong! And with the bananas, Nautilus cured Bilgewater of their damning banana plight, saving the entire city and not getting any recognition for it because it was stolen by Fizz. However, that is a story for another day. The night fell silent, and a voice came over the land.

"An enemy has been slain."