Nautilus's Archenemy: Leesin (Comedy Fan fict)

Nautilus's Archenemy: Lee Sin

One night in the Institute of War, at one of Valoran's most beloved taverns, Chicken Feathers, a unique patron emerged to get a drink. Through the door walked a twelve foot tall metal giant. His armor was not steel; it was rusted iron and bronze. It was an old-fashioned diving suit. In his right hand, he dragged a rusted anchor, just as large as the man's giant form. Old chains clanked together as he dragged this deep sea weapon through the bar. Suddenly, all eyes turned to the giant as he advanced to the counter; silence fell upon the tavern. The behemoth of a man spoke in an echoed voice that inspires the fear that only a deep sea nightmare could herald.

"I would like.... Your biggest mug of apple juice and a table.... In the corner."

Once the crowd realized the rusted giant was not here to level the establishment, most people returned to their conversations; however, there remained those who watched the titan's movements.

The bartender, who had just a moment ago been shaking under the powerful voice, nodded slowly.

"Uhh, right this way, sir!" he said as he led the giant to the corner of the bar. As to be expected, the unique patron bumped into almost every table; some mugs of ale fell, and some empty chairs fell over. The bartender was too afraid to say anything.

Finally, the bartender led the giant to the corner table, and the giant rested in one of the wooden chairs. A crack could be heard as a thousand pounds of metal had just rested on it. These, however, were sturdy chairs. The bartender shortly returns with his drink, and the scuba-suited man nods in appreciation.

After thirty minutes of uninterrupted stillness, the giant shot a glance over to the door, and his beating red eyes pulsed. There was a sudden thud! Angered mumbling was heard, and the door opened. Out walked a shirtless man wearing long gray pants and no shoes, and a red blindfold covered his eyes. He had a long dark brown ponytail braided with a red ribbon, but no other hair on the top of his head, and a small needle sticking out of his neck. The giant recognized this figure; it was Lee Sin, the blind monk.

Lee Sin had always moved with great grace, even though he is blind. Yet this time he seemed different, almost intoxicated. The monk stopped and sniffed the air for a few moments, and turned to the giant. He whispered, “Nautilus.” Those that heard the monk's whisper shot glances back to the giant who sat in the corner! Nautilus was a man bound to his diving suit due to a strange, evil infection, and he wielded an anchor as a weapon. It was actually painfully obvious who he was from the start.

Lee Sin began walking over to Nautilus, but he clumsily bumped into tables and chairs, people and barrels. The monk walked up to Nautilus and sniffed the air.

"Ahh, I thought I smelt the smell of the sea."

The monk said with a goofy grin. Nautilus remained silent. For the first time, the giant lifts his apple juice up, but before taking a sip from it, he withdraws a long see through green loopy-loop silly straw and inserts it into the drink. As Nautilus angled the drink to the abysmal maw that was his face, Lee Sin tripped over his own foot, and fell against Nautilus! The mug of apple juice fell out of his hand, and Nautilus shoved Lee Sin away from him and to the ground! Trying desperately to catch it, but much to his dismay, he was not fast enough. Apple juice spilled across the floor, and it angered Nautilus. What started out as a low growl became louder and louder. Lee Sin raised his hand over his forehead, and shook his head.

"My apolo-" he could barely utter before Nautilus jets up to his feet! The table went flying across the tavern with a loud, deafening cry!

"VENGANCE. WILL. BE. MINE!" Nautilus exclaimed!

The poisoned dart fell out of Lee Sin's neck and he instantly regained his agility. He leaped up, and dodged the flying table. He landed perfectly on his exposed feet.

"Nautilus! Calm yourself! I shall purchase you another."

Nautilus's hand reached down to grasp the chains of his anchor, and pulled his arm back. "YOU ARE IN THE DEEP END NOW!" His voice echoed through the entire establishment, and everyone dropped everything they were doing! Drinks, cards, food, children, and bolted out of the door in a stampede of very tall people trying to get through the door all at once!

Lee Sin readied his hands in a fighting position, and prepared.

"You leave me with no other choice!"

Nautilus swings his anchor by the chain! He swept the anchor in front of his body, cleaving at the monk. Though his agility was great, the moment Lee Sin moved to the left, he had a leg cramp and was struck by the anchor! The monk was sent flying through the whole bar, hitting table after table, chair after chair, and somehow ever managed to knock the chandelier down as well.

Nautilus starts rapidly repeating, "BLUE, BLUE, BLUE, BLUE, BLUE!" over and over and over again as the excitement of battle striked the abyssal titan! He reeled in his anchor, and took a step forward, shaking the breaking building.

The monk, knocked prone, raised his left hand to pat the blooded wound on his chest. He sneered. Leaping up to his feet, and looked to his left, and then his right. He was unable to get close just yet, lest he be swiped once more by the Titans weapon. It was time to think, but there was little time to do so!

Lee Sin leaps to the side. He had an idea! Nautilus was big and had few weaknesses, but Lee Sin knew his greatest weakness! The giant swept his anchor back and forth, destroying the interior of the tavern; tables were destroyed, ale was scattered, all in the name of watery vengeance. He got closer, and closer, and closer to the bar counter where Lee Sin was taking cover, but suddenly the monk leaped out from behind the bar and landed on top of the wooden counter. He raised his left hand, and fired out a blue sphere from the center of his well maintained biceps! The ball struck Nautilus, and in a moment later, the giant felt a well placed drop kick in the center of his chest! He was pushed back at least 30 feet, and he blew a hole through the wall! Nautilus was knocked onto his back, like a turtle basking his belly in the sun light. Nautilus was unable to get up off of his back! "RGG!" He shouts! Lee Sin leaped over, and landed onto Nautilus's chest, holding a glass of something.

“A GLASS OF MILK!” Lee Sin shouted.

"I know your one weakness, Nautilus! I saw it that one match when you faced Bittersweet Lulu and she made you eat those cupcakes. You are lactose intolerant!" Much to Nautilus's dismay, Lee Sin poured the cool glass of milk into the black maw that was his face plate into his mouth, or whatever he had under that helmet. Nautilus cried in anger and raised his fists; suddenly, a jet of water exploded from behind Lee Sin and, like a cannon, blew that blind dirt bag off of Nautilus's chest. However, his armor started to expand until Nautilus exploded! A voice was heard.

"An enemy has been slain."