Terrible Bronze 5 Player Looking for Duo Queue Partner

Pros:

1. I own pretty much every champion, so I can FP you anything.
2. I know I'm literally one of the worst players currently playing the game, so if you tell me to build/pick differently, I'll just do it.
3. I rarely rage, and I play a lot.

Cons:

1. I'm awful at everything.
2. Really goddamn awful.
3. I lost to bots once.