I need help

Hey there. So I need help. I am currently Gold 3 with 0 LP on my main account and Gold 1 with 33 LP on my second account. However, I just feel like I am really starting to plateau and in a way, I don't even feel like I deserve the Gold 1 ranking. I don't get carried a lot but I just guess I expected more nostalgia with reaching these ranks (I have been silver for the past 3 seasons due to a lack of confidence, I would place and just stop). I did it this season to hopefully prove some others wrong but more-so prove myself wrong, that I could do it. I get frustrated seeing others do poorly but, I am not much better it seems.

Now, away from the sappy sad stuff, I want to actually improve. I have said it to myself many a time but I haven't put in the effort. I love playing these competitive games like League and Smite. I want to stream them actually, but I don't feel I'll get much if I just don't have skill to go with any personality. I also want to help others improve. I feel I have a lot of knowledge but, I just don't apply it in the heat of the moment. I just want to improve at this game and really see where I can go.

Please comment below or add me, thank you so much in advance to anyone who comes to help me.