17 Permabanned Accounts
You know, at this point I wear my permabanned accounts on my chest like a badge of honor. Teaching hardstuck gold and plat players what it's like to be in high elo is the first step to turning bad players into good players.
See, in spite of Riot's claims that only 0.006% of all players have ever been permanently banned, that real statistic is probably closer to 15% of all current League players have been permabanned at some point.
It's not a scientific study, but it's a general survey of the active League community about 7 months ago. Accounting for some error, we can be reasonably conservative by saying about 15% of all players have been permanently banned at some point.
But what's the remission rate of permanently banned players? Surely only a tiny, tiny percent every get banned a secon- No, 57% of all permabanned players get permabanned again. Lmao. So much for players learning their lesson.
2% of the entire league community has been banned on 10+ accounts. That's kind of funny. With 17 banned accounts I'm not even in the 1% at 20+ banned accounts yet. Yikes.
Why does Riot not show the actual statistics? Probably because it highlights just how toxic Riot's punishment system is and the fact that at any time, almost 1/5 players will have their accounts basically deleted.
Now, why does this happen? Shouldn't players learn from their mistakes and see the error of their ways? Well, that's not how it works. You see. Riot employs a very, very simple bot that looks at your chat. Picks out restricted words and the volume of your chat (anything more than 5 to 10 lines of chat is usually enough to set it off) and then checks to see if someone on your team reported you. Key being someone on your team, because no matter how much you report an enemy, it won't do anything because you might be reporting them for beating you in lane.
If these criteria are met, then your account gets suspended. Most banned players usually don't find their bannings fair or rational in any human capacity. Usually because they're not and any normal human that is reading the chat logs in context would understand that usually the person getting banned is not at fault for anything. Riot is wrong to ban these people and they want vindication. So they turn to the forums for help, which the white knights of the forums who defend Riot to the death and will staunchly lynch anyone who has anything critical to say about their overlords and chalk it up to "you must be in the wrong because Riot banned you" and thus, resentment is born.
Resentment not only for Riot's flawed system and unjust bans, but resentment against the community of entitled children who covet grand delusions of a perfect company, conveniently blocking out the multiple harassment lawsuits or labor violations from employees. You know, anything that makes their perfect game developer look as bad as they really are. You can't cover up shit with millions of dollars in fancy songs and VFX and it not still be shit, although Riot is certainly trying.
And so, that lad who thought that Zed simply needed to know how bad he really was, is now a beacon of toxicity who will make a new account or buy them (like a normal person does) and feels even less remorse for telling the next bad player in his game what he's really feeling. Each and every account compounding into a well-honed instrument of flame.
Here we are. 17 accounts. And here's to 17 more. I'll have a little celebration when I hit 20 accounts and another one when I hit 23 accounts to commemorate surpassing the late, great Tyler1, may he rest in peace. Who's legacy bore the rise of 22 permabanned accounts over the years.
Now, I'm not some unreasonable, hellish guise of a man who sits on the internet borne only to spew hate and vitriol. I'm not known to be impatient or even generally a mean spirited or standoffish person. I don't search the waters to procure a list of grievances like a Boomer hunting for a reason to kick and scream like a toddler for a discount on their $7 combo meal from McDonalds. I'm not sad or depressed or even harbor any internal chagrin that influences my behavior. I don't hold grudges or even remember people's names or faces 5 seconds after meeting them, especially online.
I'm just like anyone else. Someone you might even know. Hell, we might even be friends and you have no idea. Someone pleasant to talk to with a quick wit and sharp tongue who doesn't mind a bit of banter. But that's what scares people around here. They want to pretend every toxic person on the internet is some horrid, sad shell of a human being who lives their lives in a shadow of malice and spite, searching for any reason to belittle or mock someone.
In reality, me, like most other "toxic" players in League, are just quick to speak our minds. If we have a problem, we'll let you know and then we've already forgotten about it. We deal with our problems the moment their pop up and then we're done. We don't let you know in the nicest way all the time, nor are we obligated to. Sometimes we'll call you a "fucking idiot" and should expect you to have the common sense to understand what we mean. But the key point is that once we air our grievances, we already feel better.
See, the real toxic people isn't us, who get our problems off of our chest immediately and then let it go. It's the people like the bulk of the forums and twitter who hear these criticisms and latch onto them, letting them fester and grow into hatred. If I tell you to stop playing like an idiot, it's probably because you're playing like an idiot. You let these words consume you for hours after a game is over. And there's truly nothing more toxic than someone who holds petty grudges over criticism.
The person who latches onto every word or subtext and lets it build up into a festering cyst of malignant rancor. That's the truly toxic person. The toxic little shit who spams report on everyone who doesn't bow and praise them.
And you will never, ever hear me feel sorry for driving away players like that. I consider it a public service and hope people continue quitting League because of me. Because if my flame offends you so horrendously, then maybe the memes about kids these days not being able to handle Xbox Live lobbies is right.
Maybe you shouldn't be playing games online.
Maybe just uninstall the game.
- Pennywise :)
