i got a complete unfair, unjustified and uncalled for permanent ban

DIRU·12/18/2015, 10:32:41 PM·6 votes·1,667 views

i was a bit pissed off because my goldfish died so my team started going 0/1 and i was a bit mad so i barely een was passie aggressive and i get unjust 14 day suspension. see my chat logs and TRY to find some toxicity . please help me get unban as i am highly positive and good player. i also put 200 rp into my acount and have been playing since season 3 . people can just mute me :((

game 1: my most positige game

OppaiDragon: You are hypocritical, greedy, violent, malevolent, vengeful, cowardly, deadly, mendacious, meretricious, loathsome, despicable, belligerent, opportunistic, barratrous, contemptible, criminal, fascistic, bigoted, racist, sexist, avaricious, tasteless, idiotic, brain-damaged, imbecilic, insane, arrogant, deceitful, demented, lame, self-righteous, byzantine, conspiratorial, satanic, fraudulent, libellous, bilious, splenetic, spastic, ignorant, clueless, illegitimate, harmful, destructive, dumb, evasive, double-talking, devious, revisionist, narrow, manipulative, paternalistic, fundamentalist, dogmatic, idolatrous, unethical, cultic, diseased, suppressive, controlling, restrictive, malignant, deceptive, dim, crazy, weird, dystrophic, stifling, uncaring, plantigrade, grim, unsympathetic, jargon-spouting, censorious, secretive, aggressive, mind-numbing, abrasive, poisonous, flagrant, self-destructive, abusive, and socially-retarded.

OppaiDragon: What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I’m the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You’re fucking dead, kiddo.

game 2: i got a bit mad because my juggler didn't gank

OppaiDragon: I don’t give a fuck who you are or where you live. You can count on me to be there to bring your fucking life to a hellish end. I’ll put you in so much fucking pain that it’ll make Jesus being nailed to a cross in the desert look like a fucking back massage on a tropical island. I don’t give a fuck how many reps you have or how tough you are IRL, how well you can fight, or how many fucking guns you own to protect yourself. I’ll fucking show up at your house when you aren’t home. I’ll turn all the lights on in your house, leave all the water running, open your fridge door and not close it, and turn your gas stove burners on and let them waste gas. You’re going to start stressing the fuck out, your blood pressure will triple, and you’ll have a fucking heart attack. You’ll go to the hospital for a heart operation, and the last thing you’ll see when you’re being put under in the operating room is me hovering above you, dressed like a doctor. When you wake up after being operated on, wondering what ticking time bomb is in your chest waiting to go off. You’ll recover fully from your heart surgery. And when you walk out the front door of the hospital to go home I’ll run you over with my fucking car out of no where and kill you. I just want you to know how easily I could fucking destroy your pathetic excuse of a life, but how I’d rather go to a great fuckng length to make sure your last remaining days are spent in a living, breathing fucking hell. It’s too late to save yourself, but don’t bother committing suicide either… I’ll fucking resuscitate you and kill you again myself you bitch-faced phaggot. Welcome to hell, population: you

game 3: positive

Oooooooh I’m so scared, you think you’re tough pussy? I’m behind 7 proxies and use ZoneAlarm, Sygate and Comodo Internetnet Securtiy which I all keep up-to-date. THAT’S THREE FIREWALLS AT THE SAME TIME motherfucker. You can’t hack me you little piece of shit. You’re peeshooter and kung fu won’t make a difference when my friend woh’s a B-51 pilot in the Air Force can turn your entire house and backyard into a fuckhuge bomb crater. You are pathetic, while you’re sitting there writing insults like the sad little nerd you are i’m having sex with my hot girlfriends. Yeah you read that right, i have not one but FIVE girlfriends. Top that motherfucker, I dont think you’ve ever even held hands with a girl.

please help me report htis to riot support so i get an unban

29 Comments

wilsuport4coffee12/18/2015, 11:21:46 PM4 votes

The people who can't sense the oozing amounts of sarcasm in this post.

Primaquarius12/19/2015, 6:52:38 PM3 votes

"I was a bit pissed of when my goldfish died..."

I stopped reading there

Cremepie12/18/2015, 10:45:35 PM3 votes

So positive. Uncalled 4 def. Such banned. I care so hard.

Makior7212/18/2015, 11:37:04 PM3 votes

Deserved.

LOL Spammer12/18/2015, 10:40:13 PM2 votes

How is telling someone to die multiple times "positive"?

Hunts and Dips12/19/2015, 3:53:15 PM2 votes

This has to be the worst attempt at comedy I've ever seen.

BlueThingamajig12/19/2015, 10:59:16 PM1 votes

That was a pretty amusing read, alas Poe's Law

PlsTouchMeGently12/20/2015, 1:58:26 AM1 votes

Troll is troll. 3/10.

Scaythe12/20/2015, 2:40:41 AM1 votes

Please catch on that obvious trolling is apparent.

HEAljvLykd12/18/2015, 10:52:06 PM1 votes

Rekteroni

mdigetrpaepron12/19/2015, 1:38:05 PM1 votes

Lol "As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now"

hahaha "I’m the top sniper in the entire US armed forces"

"show up at your house when you aren’t home. I’ll turn all the lights on in your house, leave all the water running, open your fridge door and not close it, and turn your gas stove burners on and let them waste gas. "

This is better then sex :)

Frikgeek12/19/2015, 4:03:38 PM1 votes

So you nicked some 5 year old copypasta from ED and got banzored. Good, you deserve it for spreading dead memes around like that.

kaltenashes12/19/2015, 6:55:09 PM1 votes

the secret to never get banned is....one day i'll share this info

[slayer-pantheon-popcorn] http://static5.gamespot.com/uploads/square_avatar/1551/15516851/2941774-lfs23.png

fatherdarius12/19/2015, 7:36:03 PM1 votes

10 out of 10, would read again.

ShaftyMegee12/19/2015, 9:44:55 PM1 votes

Uhh....