Unluckiest league of legends player alive

i beleive i am the most unluckiest league of legends player ever and need an rng buff, my top unluckiest moments include:

• dying bot froma 4 man gank, getting back to lane and 4 people live with exactly 5 hp after overstaying
• adc tf with 10% crit crits me 5 times in a row and i lose the trade and die (i didnt crit once with ie as jinx)
• multiple skill shots going through people, not the scenarios where it looks like it hits but doesnt but the visable skillshot going through champions
• mutlitple times in ranked where im fed and the enemy jungler (usually a rengar) stops doing there camp, ults, and just comes to find me and kills me. (proof wasent warded as my friend spectated, they had completely no vision of me).
• last pick 9/10 ranked games, never get to play a role I want making ranked boring.
• after my promos into plat i had 2 afks, for 3 games in a row, stopped playing ranked.

favourite champ i play gets played by lcs people then randomly then gets nerfed (varus)

the 5 hp happens at least 10 times every game, not an over exaggeration.

i forgot to mention, i never crit, ever, i usually build 3 crit items cause the odds of me critting are too low, and even with IE/FC/essence reaver i still dont crit, one time i had those items and autoed 10 times on the enemy team and didnt crit once, i have an account named i dont crit, cause i dont.

rito hlp me please

jsut got 2 new bug today, i made my masteries and saved them and sat with them on my screen and it bugged out and deleted all my masteries and i started without a keystone, then i did it again made sure ihad my masteries and it swapped to another page?????????

then the team builder NEVER has the ready button for me.