I miss my ex

So, it's been almost a year now since we broke up but it still hurts. She used to play league with me. It was all fun until I became a toxic player. The one person I truly loved left me because I coudn't control myself. I feel shame almost every day if I see or think about her. It's hard to be living like this, but I hope things will become better for me. Maybe even get her back one day. One can only hope.