Season 2 Player

Long time player, I uninstalled a week or two ago and decided I should play again. Two years ago I dropped out of college in order to pursue a potential career in League of Legends, streaming, or professional play. During this process I changed as a person but throughout every threshold I grew less tenacious and less patient. I began snapping around a year after dropping, I've a history of being banned because of my behavior and find it hard to communicate without stepping on someones feelings yet without communication I lose more than 50% of my games. This isn't a post asking for advice so don't give me any, I just wanted to share with people that have been playing this game for as long as I, less or more, that people like me once and may still take this game as life/death because their livelihoods depend on it. Still it is no excuse to lash out and I apologize for my past behavior and hope to rejoin the rift and never return to the abyss of toxicity.