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PBIVRinzler's Story Corner (Current: Academy & PROJECT

PBIVRinzler·8/28/2015, 4:02:32 PM·1 votes·1,417 views

(Update: PROJECT has been revised; Minor errors removed, world further detailed, Projects further individualized.)

Hello, and welcome to the thread where I'll be posting a number of my different little writings. I've always found writing to be something that helps me calm down, so I try and write regularly, but with my recent return to college, I haven't had much time to do so.

I've always liked a lot of the designs in League, but with the lore changes and everything, i've found it impossible to keep up with. I've also felt really bummed out that there isn't more to draw me into the skins. So I began to come up with my own ideas.

Disclaimer: Obviously I don't own anything regarding league of legends, but likewise, my stories do not actually represent works, mechanics, or intended storylines for any project current or in development by Riot.

final note: Please be merciful. These are merely for entertainment and are written at my own leisure. I don't get paid to write anything, and I don't have an editor, so quality is low in comparison to what it could be.

**Available Stories: ** Academy PROJECT

Thanks for your time.

5 Comments

RiotBioluminescence8/28/2015, 4:34:26 PM3 votes

Only had time to look over the PROJECT story this morning (before work) but I really like it! The little initialization conceit at the start is well done (and not overdone - often a danger) and the PROJECT fighting PROJECT description is also on point.

If there were anything, I think I'd try to work on differenciating the dialogue lines to A) make them seem less in touch with their humanity, and B) give them a slightly more distinct voice. I know that's really difficult with so few words to work with, so maybe it's not feasible to do in the limits you have, or maybe you can do it in the description surrounding it. For example, I liked the section:

“This is the end, Yasuo.” Zed’s helmet droned...

That, to me, gave Zed a slightly more distinct voice by describing it not only as a drone, but almost as if it came from the helmet, instead of the man.

ULTRAF0RCE8/28/2015, 6:49:22 PM1 votes

Really interesting, not sure if it was on purpose but I really enjoyed the nod to metal gear solid with the mentioning of memories that are not that of the person, ala Raiden.

PBIVRinzler8/30/2015, 3:07:36 AM1 votes

Update!

PROJECT v1.1 -Minor bugfixes; Most outragous errors with text fixed with a second passover. -PROJECTs further individualized. -Characters are now more lively, and environment is more detailed.

enjoy!

I hope to update academy here soon.

Thanks again to those who have read!