what on earth is this sorcery?

{quoted}

the friggin hecklin heckly heckle

Alright there bucko, you're gonna need to calm down or I'm gonna have to report this to the mods, there are children on this board.

And that 'sorcery' is obviously this guy

https://i.stack.imgur.com/KnzTc.jpg

Ready for some psychic debugging?

0. Judging by two adjacent blast cone plants, you were in Nexus Blitz.
1. Judging by the line of "====..." in the chat, there was an event.
2. The enemy team won the event.
3. The event's reward was the sled.
4. Rioters enjoy or have enjoyed playing Halo: Combat Evolved, and/or its sequels.
5. The sled is internally (within Riot, not necessarily within the game) known as a warthog, a reference to Halo's Warthog vehicle.
6. The ability where you enter the sled/Warthog is called SLIME_EnterWarthog internally (within the game, not necessarily within Riot).
7. SLIME_EnterWarthog isn't a normal player ability.
8. Riot has completely forgotten about the awful death recap feature and thus has no reason to make "pretty" player-facing names and tooltips for atypical player abilities.
9. SLIME_EnterWarthog doesn't have such a name for when players see it, such as in the death recap.
10. An enemy player entered the sled, collided with you for damage, and you subsequently died.
11. One of the abilities in the death recap ended up being the fallback internal name of SLIME_EnterWarthog.

DFG Proc does Damage based on %Max HP and also increases further Magic Damage, thus leading to Rito being confused from where the Damage came from, so you only see the Placeholder.

hes full ap so yeah