Game crashes, ill-perceived 'Firewall' issues, Affected standing!

Was playing a game of 'Team Builder' today when, after champion select, my game decided to crash. No biggie. Ctrl + Tab > Task Manager > End Process > Restart LoLClient usually fixes everything.

-Not this time-

As I relaunched LoL, I was faced with a dialog box informing me that the game crashed due to a firewall issue. After trying to reconnect three times and receiving the same message on every attempt, I decided to do what I normally do (See fail-safe troubleshooting method above) to no avail.

I was faced with the dreaded 'Calculating Differences' screen that stays stuck at 33%. Though I've never faced this problem before, I have heard horror stories about it ranging from minor 3 month long waits for Riot to fix it, to more severe outcomes like the story of the guy who killed his dog because he was stuck waiting three months for Riot to fix it and his pet died from malnutrition.

I only hope that this issue can be addressed and fixed expeditiously as I too have a pet animal and, seeing as though I just spent a small fortune on new characters, I'm anticipating waiting this problem out for better or for worse.

Please help me, Riot. My summoners need you.

Sincerely,

Champion in Limbo