Please help me to get my account back

I'm pretty sure nobody cares about what happend today with me.The most saddest day of my life "Your account is permanently suspended" I didn't belive it at first I checked my email nothing there I checked my warnings in the lol site still nothing.So I went to Riotsupport and send a request to bring back my account.I asked so many times sorry I really feel terrible for myself and I admit it that I'm toxic I'm sorry it's just sometimes I can't handle myself I feel so embarrassed I want to kill myself. I don't know what to do I started to play with this account since season2 I grown up with that account I changed so many times the summoner name I even transfer to other Region.This account is my life I can't let it go,I'm not gonna stop here, my awful behavior will not make me destroy my life, my account is my everything.I wish you all will understand I'm literally burning inside IM DEAD INSIDE ME. My summoner name is :Roujan Montana: from EU West please send me help I swear I will change from now on I will take responsibilities.Thank you for help have a good day Sir please help me..