A Look Into the Mindset of a "toxic" Summoner

(This is a legit e-mail that I've sent to Riot Games (including the chat log) over my permanent ban and hope to get a reply sooner or later Enjoy! and feel free to comment.)

Dear Riot games,

    I'd like to address the permanent ban on my account "WintersChill808" summoner name: D Pancake. I'd first like to say that my comment in the first game over the gender of my support was uncalled for not to mention degrading to women, so for this I could clearly understand why this is seen as extremely offensive, since I as a male also have a temper. In my defense, (which holds little value due to past conflicts and warnings) before I came to the conclusion that "Thresh" or my support at the time was a woman due to "Instability"; they were flaming me when I had suggested they save their lantern, trying very hard to steal every last bit of cs and putting me in very difficult situations whenever the enemy team engaged, warded, or ganked and making the overall lane experience difficult, but after I had muted them I thought that things would be put behind us and we could move on. Since I'm all for giving people second chances and we were being more co-operative with each other I had made the decision to unmute "Thresh" or my "Support" which, as seen in the chat I had found a mistake. The reference I made to thresh being the 'Worst Kind of Support' should have been rephrased to "The worst kind of person" which would also be seen as intolerable but a more civil way of putting things, possibly ending the conflict there.but would also be seen as a sign of "retaliation" in your terms of handling the matter, which I acknowledge, I also acknowledge that the number of supports acting in such a matter have decreased so I'd like to thank you for making the rift a better place, and plan to work on my temper and later return to the rift with an alternate account should this one not be returned. 
    As for the second game, my behavior was clearly intolerable after my fail roam attempt I felt the need to blame the Master Yi as most people tend to blame the jungler for their failure in lane. However, I'd like to point out that in the time of my AFK I had gone to get iced water to calm myself down as I had stated 

"D Pancake: I needed to collect myself"

While in game only to return to my team harassing me, calling me useless, stupid, etc. to which I replied

"D Pancake: and here we go lol"

and eventually leading to me sitting in fountain for about another two minutes, I've never really been one to afk after stating that I would, but I do see how making such a statement would negatively effect he team's moral. Having noticed this, after recollecting myself for a second time, I had given the team time to calm down, and worked on rebuilding the confidence they needed from

"D Pancake: nice karma"

to the very end, telling the team that they gave it their best

"D Pancake: good try team"

I'd also like to address the fact that this may have been mistaken for "passive aggressiveness" which would increase my chances of a permanent ban.

Alongside with the main concern I have: If a summoner is being insulted by another player and mutes them, that doesn't change the chat, so unless said summoner spams said chat, the text will be a constant reminder to the conflict that occurred; to solve this issue I'd like to request the re-introduction of the "clear chat history" button that was removed and would even go as far as to creating a petition for its return.

Despite me not giving it MY all, personally, I don't feel this excuses my actions but I do want Riot Games to know I've tried to change, and one day hope that I may. I'm mainly addressing this Permanent ban to clarify, that I wasn't just sucking up to the team during the second game in order to avoid a report, and would like to show my reasoning for my behavior in the first game but am also willing to submit to change, for in this letter I've addressed my mistakes in both games, acknowledged them, hope to learn from them, and return a better person.

I also look forward to any comments or input that someone from Riot Games may have on the subject and / or suggestions of this letter. - Sincerely, Your toxic summoner "D Pancake"

Game 1

D Pancake: save your lanturn D Pancake: for when we get a gank D Pancake: or are being ganked D Pancake: if skarner had come D Pancake: after i misclicked that lanturn D Pancake: we'd be dead D Pancake: if he'd come D Pancake: we'd be dead D Pancake: simple D Pancake: you're the worst kind of support D Pancake: ffs D Pancake: dont D Pancake: leave the seige D Pancake: \YOU MISS D Pancake: YOU MISS A LOT D Pancake: you're the worst kind of support D Pancake: leave D Pancake: you're going to feed anyway D Pancake: muted and reported D Pancake: must be a woman D Pancake: you're a woman huh? unstable D Pancake: i know you're a woman ;) D Pancake: report thresh for trolling please D Pancake: tyvm D Pancake: also very toxic and cries a lot D Pancake: i muted them so D Pancake: idc what they say D Pancake: damn D Pancake: damn D Pancake: and i killed you D Pancake: BAM D Pancake: you had skarner? D Pancake: cry more D Pancake: gt D Pancake: it's whatever D Pancake: keep it up thresh D Pancake: who engaged? D Pancake: you D Pancake: i pinged where i was going D Pancake: yep D Pancake: keep talking shit "team" D Pancake: leave top to die then D Pancake: idgaf D Pancake: was a mistake unmuting you thresh D Pancake: tilted again D Pancake: no peel anyway D Pancake: so why stay with team? D Pancake: i was ther D Pancake: and i was being chased D Pancake: so i fell back D Pancake: simple D Pancake: no peel D Pancake: thresh run their mouth all game D Pancake: any chance they get D Pancake: keep talking thresh D Pancake: you're muted lol D Pancake: type more D Pancake: team so toxic D Pancake: engage at the best times guys D Pancake: yes D Pancake: the tank D Pancake: do continue D Pancake: "group" D Pancake: but never get peel D Pancake: so why go? i die first anyway D Pancake: bird D Pancake: i'm asking you D Pancake: since the "support" is muted D Pancake: nice nice D Pancake: taking this game too serious D Pancake: yep D Pancake: 3v5 and they were super low D Pancake: report me D Pancake: 2v5 and tanks super low D Pancake: my fault D Pancake: you're always getting caught

Game 2 D Pancake: yep have a good time too D Pancake: may the best team win D Pancake: nice D Pancake: didn't realize she had ignite D Pancake: riven sums down D Pancake: :* D Pancake: i th ought you had tp ;) D Pancake: lol D Pancake: fuck D Pancake: she's good D Pancake: riven what's your highest rank? D Pancake: fml D Pancake: didn't falsh in time D Pancake: i'm going to resort to roaming D Pancake: i can't handle this riven D Pancake: no E? D Pancake: MF? D Pancake: your E D Pancake: didnt have? D Pancake: damn D Pancake: wait yi D Pancake: this is a waste of time D Pancake: and riven D Pancake: free for top D Pancake: pissing me off D Pancake: no teamwork D Pancake: i'm done D Pancake: sitting under turret D Pancake: wont help D Pancake: she's dove me D Pancake: pretty rude dood D Pancake: always hate seeing yi junglers D Pancake: no CC D Pancake: that'd leave me as the only tank right? D Pancake: what's the point? D Pancake: might as well D Pancake: my "tank" build isn't going to happen anyway D Pancake: i'm too far behind D Pancake: in what fuckign lane yi? D Pancake: in what lane? D Pancake: the best shot i had was roaming D Pancake: and that didn't even work out D Pancake: no game plan D Pancake: so yeah D Pancake: afk D Pancake: I dont have a plan to get back in D Pancake: not going to stop me from afk man D Pancake: then what's the point of reporting? lol D Pancake: u just said D Pancake: we lost D Pancake: so why try? D Pancake: we need a game plan guys D Pancake: any ideas? D Pancake: what's done is done D Pancake: let's try to move on D Pancake: I needed to collect myself D Pancake: and here we go lol D Pancake: afk again D Pancake: please report D Pancake: i try to get over it, i collect myself and i'm bullied back to afk D Pancake: and it was 3min karma D Pancake: not 5 D Pancake: lol D Pancake: nice karma D Pancake: nice D Pancake: thresh lanturns pretty good D Pancake: :o D Pancake: yep D Pancake: wasn't worth trying to save me but thanks D Pancake: nice! D Pancake: i didn't think it was possible for karma to still carry D Pancake: gj team D Pancake: ^ D Pancake: riven's really strong D Pancake: good bait bard D Pancake: lmao D Pancake: riven MIA D Pancake: ggwp D Pancake: good try team D Pancake: good try team D Pancake: wait... D Pancake: we might still b in it D Pancake: nvm D Pancake: ggwp