Permanent ban too harsh?

Okay so you know i have been very toxic in terms of cursing, not racial slang, in the past but after my last 2 week ban I was doing pretty good no chat restrictions nothing for about 2.5 months. One day i had a few rough matches like most people do i didn't use any curse words and did not use ANY racial slang. Just a few games with some trolls and i didn't know what to do. I mean whats the point of muting someone when you can just get them banned. Just mute me if that's the case. even if you do not i understand i was toxic but seriously 2.5 months of doing pretty good and i get this for one bad day. I have spent so much and have come to the conclusion I might have to quit the game. I don't think one bad day is worth a permanent ban and using caps should not affect any of this. I am only 15 and not using this as an excuse but i'm going through a lot parents are getting divorced blah blah blah. But i do think calling people out when they are trolling or not trying to help the team is okay and if they don't want to listen they can mute me. Its a video game and the report system kind of contradicts the muting system that is in the game. Makes no sense to me maybe i'm too young i don't know what the case is but i want some opinions. PS i understand i used idiot and shouldn't have but i know i can change and work on my anger but that chance is now taken away. I clearly understand i was toxic but a ban for life is a bit harsh maybe?