2 week ban not deserved. How can you deal with passive aggressive players?

CallOfUrMum·Mar 1, 2018·3 votes·1,835 views

So I got a 2 week ban which I feel was totally undeserved. I dont mind this except it puts my precious account on thin ice afterwards. What happened was I was in a game, not having my best game. I was pantheon top getting whooped by an urgot top. So 2 of my teammates decided to flame me, but in a passive aggressive way... like spam ping question marks at u, saying "best panth i ever seen", "noob panth" etc. So I flame them back but in a direct way and tell them to shut their ass up. So... an argument kinda started and I guess I won, so they report me, and then I get banned. If I backed down from that argument, they would just flame the fuck out of me. This has happened a million times. Riot takes action against direct flame but not the passive aggressive flame who always start it. We're human, we have emotions

67 Comments

The Cream ReaperMar 1, 20188 votes

What happened was

please post chat logs. i don't acknowledge excuses.

[slayer-jinx-wink]

So I flame them back but in a direct way and tell them to shut their ass up. So... an argument kinda started and I guess I won,

you won an internet argument against complete and utter strangers

congratulations! you must feel so damn proud over that little achievement

[sg-ezreal]

so they report me, and then I get banned.

win the battle lose the war

If I backed down from that argument, they would just flame the fuck out of me.

you can mute them. you know that, right? or can your flimsy ego not handle that scenario?

We're human, we have emotions

and you chose the wrong time and place to express them. you're supposed to be playing the game, not engage in unproductive arguments

CallOfUrMumMar 1, 20182 votes

"you won an internet argument against complete and utter strangers congratulations! you must feel so damn proud over that little achievement" Thanks dude!

"you can mute them. you know that, right? or can your flimsy ego not handle that scenario?" No, I want all passive aggressive players to know that they can't get away with that shit. They run their mouth every game and get away with it because riot just lets it happen. By ur comments, I wouldn't be surprised if you are one of those passive aggressive players

"and you chose the wrong time and place to express them. you're supposed to be playing the game, not engage in unproductive arguments" They flamed me, and I flamed them back. The injustice here is that I get banned, but they don't.

The Cream ReaperMar 1, 20184 votes

No, I want all passive aggressive players to know that they can't get away with that shit.

you got banned for that logic. your next stunt will cost you your account. i suggest you choose your battles with greater care in the future

By ur comments, I wouldn't be surprised if you are one of those passive aggressive players

that's neither here nor there...

They flamed me, and I flamed them back. The injustice here is that I get banned, but they don't.

grandma had a saying "the trouble with an eye for an eye is that everyone ends up blind" i suggest next time you try killing them with kindness instead

CallOfUrMumMar 1, 20181 votes

Easier said than done dude

The Cream ReaperMar 1, 20184 votes

as soon as you move past your ego, it's quite easy

CallOfUrMumMar 1, 20182 votes

Next time you run into a toxic 12 year old in silver 5, you try "killing them with kindness". Tell me how it goes buddy

The Cream ReaperMar 1, 20186 votes

i always do. some of them get angryer and some of them stop

and the ones who don't stop usually go over into "k ys"-land

mute>>report>> wait for notification>> ??? >> proffits

SavageConcordiaMar 1, 20181 votes

Most of the community does this every day and never gets punished. It's not hard, all you have to do is not flame at someone you will likely never interact with again in your life. You flaming them won't accomplish anything except losing your account.

CallOfUrMumMar 1, 20181 votes

I got reported because I flamed toxic players, who reported me for fighting back against them. Basically, the only players who had a problem with me are the toxic players. How is that fair? I'm not a threat to the game

CallOfUrMumMar 1, 20181 votes

The players who say kys and 'get cancer' deserve a ban. Riot handing out bans too easily

The Cream ReaperMar 1, 20183 votes

that's because you make it easy for them

[slayer-jinx-wink]

SavageConcordiaMar 1, 20181 votes

Those are what we call "Trolls", by feeding them you are giving them exactly what they want. They want a reaction from you and if you ignore them they stop talking because they aren't getting what they want out of you.

CallOfUrMumMar 1, 20181 votes

No they aren't what we call "Trolls", sir. The whole "feed the troll" thing is about 10 years out of date by the way. Trolls do things to be funny. These guys don't flame to be funny. They say things along the lines of "get cancer". It's because they are young kids who don't have good manners and need to be taught them by somebody

SavageConcordiaMar 1, 20181 votes

So how many times have you flammed one of these people and they apologized and started playing better? Or how many times have you flammed them, they report you and you get banned and they laugh at you?

XaintrixMar 1, 20182 votes

{quoted}

I got reported because I flamed toxic players, who reported me for fighting back against them. Basically, the only players who had a problem with me are the toxic players. How is that fair? I'm not a threat to the game

No, if I'm your teammate not involved with the argument I have a problem with you continuing your argument and not focusing on the game. I'm not going to call you out on it and make the problem worse. I'm going to mute you too and eventually report you if the flaming doesn't stop or as it usually does go out of control. Oh I give the baited people the benefit of the doubt at first, I don't blindly report right the baited right away, but if they don't drop it they're going into the same dumpster as the people who started it.

You do realize the trolls get off on the mutually assured destruction right?

CallOfUrMumMar 1, 20181 votes

Of the 4 players on my team, 2 flamed and were toxic. I then flamed them back. Your point is wrong because after the game I had two honors, from my other 2 teammates, showing they agreed with me. They aren't trolls. A troll is someone who does something because it's funny. These are young kids who don't know any better. They don't do it because it's funny, but because they haven't been taught good manners. The types who say "go get cancer". They aren't trolls. Trolls do things to be funny, I troll sometimes and im sure you do too.

LyndrisMar 1, 20181 votes

{quoted}

They aren't trolls. A troll is someone who does something because it's funny. These are young kids who don't know any better. They don't do it because it's funny, but because they haven't been taught good manners. The types who say "go get cancer". They aren't trolls. Trolls do things to be funny, I troll sometimes and im sure you do too.

See, I disagree with this, trolls do things to be jerks because it is funny to them. It is not cause it is funny to everyone, rather they want to get attention and provoke an emotional response primarily by being mean.

CallOfUrMumMar 1, 20181 votes

trolling isn't usually mean. But let's agree to disagree

EvilDustManMar 1, 20181 votes

{quoted}

Next time you run into a toxic 12 year old in silver 5, you try "killing them with kindness". Tell me how it goes buddy

No. You just mute and report them and let them get themselves banned. It's not that hard.

Kei143Mar 1, 20181 votes

By the way you make these comments, it looks like that you don't understand how the system works, so allow me to point out how it works.

When you get reported, it triggers the system to review the game (your side only) for toxicity and grade it (0=no toxicity, 100= used hate speech). When your account reaches 100 toxicity points, you will get punished.

Everyone's behavioral history is different, they maybe be at 2 total toxicity points,. They may be at 95 points. Passive aggressiveness will probably get them a toxicity grade of .. 5? So if they were at 95 points, then they will get punished. If they were at 53 points, then it will take them a few more games before they get punished.

Bottomline, if they were consistant about their passive-aggressiveness, they would get punished, so don't worry too much about them.

Shreddermen57Mar 1, 20183 votes

Taken directly from Riot Support's Instant Feedback FAQ:

WHY WAS I PUNISHED WHEN THE OTHER PERSON WAS WORSE OR STARTED IT!

Simply speaking, retaliation is not an acceptable or justifiable behavior. An argument between two players can easily create a negative experience for the rest of the players in the game with you. Regardless of the other player’s actions, this does not justify your own behavior. You alone are responsible for your actions within the game.If you encounter a toxic player like this, the best option is to simply report their behavior and move on.

Reports are a vital piece to the puzzle. If you are not sure of what sort of behavior is reportable take a look at the Reporting a Player FAQ

OhBoyItsaMegamanMar 1, 20182 votes

If I backed down from that argument, they would just flame the fuck out of me. This has happened a million times. Riot takes action against direct flame but not the passive aggressive flame who always start it. We're human, we have emotions

Then how is it that almost everyone who plays this game has been in that situation and didn't get banned?

It's because—despite being human, despite having emotions—we can consistently conduct ourselves like adults or at least teenagers. What can you do if two teammates are insulting you? You can mute them, or you can ignore what they're saying, or you can give them a polite minimal response ("just focus on the game please"), or you can be good-humored about it, or you can kill 'em with kindness.

Rather than do any of these things, you chose to break the rules. Let that sink in for a moment. You knew that flaming was against the rules, but you did it, and after the fact your excuse is "they made me angry and I'm only human." There's nowhere else that you can go where you can avoid punishment by saying "being emotional was the reason that I broke that rule."

CallOfUrMumMar 1, 20181 votes

Why is "conducting yourself like an adult" ignoring unjust comments and straight up flame? Just because it's passive aggressive doesn't mean it's not flame. It's just disguised flame. I don't like that these players can flame every game they are in and get away with it, because it's passive aggressive. You can choose to ignore it and let it continue, or stand up to it. Did Martin luther king ignore racism in the USA? Or did he take a stand and change things for the better. Let that sink in for a moment.

ChermorgMar 1, 20185 votes

Ignoring it, muting it, and reporting it is the adult thing to do. Most people learn early on in grade school that "an eye for an eye" and "fighting fire with fire" are a poor way to handle life.

There is a huge difference between fighting systemic racism and whatever you think you're fighting for. You're not fighting against toxicity - you are perpetuating it by participating in it yourself.

CallOfUrMumMar 1, 20181 votes

Ok dude, you think it's that straightfoward, but it isn't. For me, in some cases, there’s a greater moral outrage in not taking an eye for an eye, or in taking less than an eye for an eye. It’s the moral outrage that comes when people feel they can get away with something. If you're being bullied in school, they won't stop unless you defend yourself. You can tell a teacher or a parent, but that won't stop it. That's just life. If you don't understand that, you're inexperienced in life. I'm not perpetuating it at all. I only fight back against real toxic players - the players who are toxic out of nowhere. They need to be taught a lesson, and riot won't be banning them any time soon, just because they are passive aggressive.

The Cream ReaperMar 1, 20185 votes

They need to be taught a lesson,

you're not teaching them any lesson by retaliating. to them you are just some nobody reacting to their chat. they don't know you so they don't care what you have to say. you can spend all day throwing toxicity back and forth with an internet stranger. it will accomplish nothing. the only thing it does is feeding their own ego when they see how much they got to you

you're not supposed to feed the trolls

{quoted} If you don't understand that, you're inexperienced in life.

[slayer-jinx-wink]

CallOfUrMumMar 1, 20181 votes

They aren't trolls, they're kids who don't have manners and don't know better. If you somehow convince them that what they're doing is irrational and wrong, u have a reformed kid. Ur never gonna achieve that by "killing them with kindness". IM TRYING TO HELP BRONZE AND SILVER. IT IS A TOXIC PLACE. U HAVE TO PUT THESE KIDS IN THEIR PLACE OR THEY WONT STOP. OK IM DONE And if you don't understand that if you don't stand up to bullies, they won't stop, you really are inexperienced in life.

The Cream ReaperMar 1, 20181 votes

They aren't trolls, they're kids who don't have manners and don't know better.

by arguing back you're not much better

If you somehow convince them that what they're doing is irrational and wrong, u have a reformed kid.

you never will

again...

[{quoted}](name=The Cream Reaper,realm=EUNE,application-id=ZGEFLEUQ,discussion-id=scK3PXv6,comment-id=00030000000000000000,timestamp=2018-03-01T12:23:15.003+0000)

to them you are just some nobody reacting to their chat. they don't know you so they don't care what you have to say. you can spend all day throwing toxicity back and forth with an internet stranger. it will accomplish nothing. the only thing it does is feeding their own ego when they see how much they got to you

ok?

And if you don't understand that if you don't stand up to bullies, they won't stop, you really are inexperienced in life.

there's a difference between online bullies and irl bullies

you can mute and ignore the former any time it pleases you.

but hey! if you'd rather argue back and forth like a child for internet brownie points then... whatever floats your boat...

zPOOPzMar 1, 20183 votes

they're kids who don't have manners and don't know better.

...

So I flame them back but in a direct way and tell them to shut their ass up

Oh the irony......

Kei143Mar 1, 20181 votes

Here's my mindset on this.

I'll let them know this: "what you are saying can get them punished, and you better stop".

If they ignore it, then I'll let Riot do their thing, as It's not within my authority to "let them know their place". I have full confidence that if they keep up their actions, they'll get punished.

As you said, people will change when they want to, typically after they see a consequence and learning that what they did was wrong. Again, not my place to punish them, but I can give them a warning, that's all.

OhBoyItsaMegamanMar 2, 20181 votes

I honestly cannot imagine a situation in which a person who is slinging insults would be "put in their place" by flaming them back. It defies any possible logic. It has never happened in a League of Legends game, ever.

It is the equivalent of saying "the next time a bully starts hitting you, don't just stand there or run away! Stand up for yourself by taking out your wallet and throwing $20 bills at him. That'll get him to stop."

CallOfUrMumMar 2, 20181 votes

no it's not like slinging $20 bills at them it's like hitting them back. Your first point defies any logic. It really does.

CallOfUrMumMar 2, 20181 votes

It has happened in many a game my friend

ChermorgMar 1, 20181 votes

I think you've seen firsthand that Riot bans toxic players.

The Cream ReaperMar 1, 20181 votes

Someone get the fire extinguisher!!!

Fast!

CallOfUrMumMar 1, 20181 votes

I'm not a toxic player.

HalcyonDwellerMar 1, 20182 votes

{quoted}

I think you've seen firsthand that Riot bans players for toxic ~~players~~ behavior.

There, no name-calling involved anymore. It's still applicable to the situation.

ChermorgMar 1, 20183 votes

Considering you refuse to post your chat logs (at least that I've seen), you have provided no proof to that.

Considering you believe that "fighting back" is the "moral" thing to do (that's what you said above) in some cases, I find it hard to believe you are not a toxic player. That attitude of "fighting back" is the hallmark of a negative and toxic attitude to have in a video game.

CallOfUrMumMar 2, 20181 votes

"Considering you believe that "fighting back" is the "moral" thing to do (that's what you said above) in some cases, I find it hard to believe you are not a toxic player. That attitude of "fighting back" is the hallmark of a negative and toxic attitude to have in a video game." Sorry, but how is fighting back the hallmark of a toxic player? What drugs are you smoking? The hallmark of a toxic player is calling people cancer, being racist, insulting their family, inting. I don't need to go on.

ChermorgMar 2, 20181 votes

Because any toxicity is toxic - no matter if it's "fighting back" or "fighting to start". It does not matter who started it - your fighting back is just as toxic as if you said the things without any provocation.

Kei143Mar 1, 20181 votes

Well what do you accomplish for winning the fight between keyboard warriors?

You might feel better about yourself in that moment, but then you lose the game and the account as well, which makes you feel like shit.

You are playing a game here, not trying to change the world, so focus on the goal of a game, and that is to relax and have fun. If they are flaming you, then just mute them and all flame will be gone.

Btw, Martin Luther King didn't change the world by insulting others.

CallOfUrMumMar 1, 20181 votes

True, but he took a stand. What other stand can you take against passive aggressive players?

The Cream ReaperMar 1, 20184 votes

completely ignoring their existance, muting and assuming they're bots for the rest of the game is a great way to handle it

trolls usually get bored if they stop getting reactions from you

Kei143Mar 1, 20181 votes

My stand would be "ignore him and play the game".

So if he flames me, I'll go "cool story bro" and continue playing the game. So if he was trying to have an arguement with me, then he'll soon realise that he's just talking to himself, thus shut up when he doesn't get a reponse.

I don't even mute them, I just smile at them and report them after.

EDIT: Keep in mind that if I'm playing Zyra (my main), I'll know my power spikes and when I'm super strong. I may feed early game by doing poorly, but I typically make it back up in mid game as the enemy disrespects my power spike and I can regain my footing from there.

So people can flame me early game all they want, they typically shut up in mid game, cos I do make a comeback.

HalcyonDwellerMar 1, 20181 votes

{quoted}

Did Martin luther king ignore racism in the USA? Or did he take a stand and change things for the better. Let that sink in for a moment.

A multiplayer online video-game is not the place to make a moral stand. Save your grand gestures for real life.

You can choose to ignore it and let it continue, or stand up to it.

Actually standing up to it only works in real-life situations, and even then only very situationally. You have to take behavioral psychology into consideration. People do things because they want to get a reaction out of you. They're pissed at you for doing something and they want recognition / acknowledgement from you of that anger they hold.

When you react to people who act passive aggressive, you show them that being passive aggressive worked to elicit a reaction from you. Most of the time, this is what they want. So when you react, you let them win. They see it worked, so they will do it again the next time they want a reaction out of you. You're literally feeding the behavior.

Over the internet, the best way to deal with them is to mute them and ignore them, because that will not feed their behavior at all. But if you cannot resist the urge to react to them, then the only way to 'show' them is to keep your cool and not cross any lines. Trust me if they want a reaction and instead of reacting animatedly you remain calm then that's going to piss them off more and show them that being passive aggressive doesn't get them what they want.

CallOfUrMumMar 1, 20181 votes

Let me speak from experience. When I react to someone who is toxic in game, I can shut them down fast. You tell them why what they're saying is irrational, and you take control of the situation instead of them taking control. It's how your parents train you as a child, like if you pee on the floor, they make sure you don't do it again. So, they don't bother anyone for the rest of the game. It works most of the time if you do it correctly. And I can tell you a thousand real life situations where this happens too. You're viewing these people as though they are beyond help. If you talk to them right, they can learn to change their behaviour. After they flame me, I'll flame the fuck out of them, but then later I'll give them my blue buff or something, to show I don't hate them. Then they actually help the team. What you're talking about is the generic procedure to deal with bullies... and it never works... it doesn't change their behaviour at all... they'll go into the next game and flame their teammates who might not be able to take it as well...

HalcyonDwellerMar 1, 20181 votes

Well let me speak from experience as well then, you can take control of the situation without having to flame them.

See my other comment discussing verb tense and means of communication / leadership for more info.