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I have been permanently banned, here is what I have to say

Feathersofsteel·5/20/2018, 4:54:53 PM·10 votes·6,462 views

First of all, I want to apologize to anyone who was in the game that my perma ban chat log identifies.

Now, I will not, and I really cannot, defend the state of my chat behavior in League of Legends. I come off as a bitter and overly defensive individual, and as much as I have tried to avoid using language such as the 'R' word in chat since my 2-week ban in March, I obviously failed to control myself this time.

There are some rationalizations to my behavior, as I often only insult/cuss those who are either directly trolling/intentionally feeding/or are being toxic towards me. Particularly, the chat log and respective game that is cited in my permanent ban involved me jungling and cussing out a support player who was upset with our ADC. That support player decided it best after dying several times inside 5 minutes to begin trolling our ADC by leaving the lane, and me by following me around in my jungle, attempting to take camps, and making it difficult to gank lanes (I guess she blamed me too for not ganking).

Now that whole explanation is fine and dandy, but at the end of the day these rationalizations only make some sense of why I acted in these manners, and they do not justify or validate my behavior. In that game I filled the chat log with curse words, I believe I used the 'R' word once, and I used phrases such as "fragile piece of s***" or "trash human". The only consolation is that I did not use any violent or threatening speech, but I guess all things considered that is a small consolation in comparison to all the other things I chose to say.

Now, from my understanding the punishment system doesn't take into account only one or two games. However, I believe that only applies to accounts that are not already elevated in warning level. Since my ban two months ago I have made it to checkpoint 2/3 to get back to honor level 1, and I believe that I have generally been improving in chat. Obviously, if that was fully true I wouldn't be in this situation. However, I still believe there is some merit to my improvement, and that I can continue on a path to being a better teammate.

I have been playing League of Legends since 2011. I never received a chat/behavioral punishment between 2011 and 2017, however in 2018 I have gone from no infractions to banned within the course of several months. Obviously, some punishment is warranted, as I have genuinely degraded in my capacity to be a healthy member of the community and a respectful teammate.

Now, I am not asking to straight up be unbanned this instant. But, having been a member of the community for so long a time, and having invested probably more money than I should have on skins. I would like to at least have one more chance to become a strong and healthy member of the community once again. Whether that be in 1/2/6 or even 12 months from now. Or, maybe Riot still sees me as deserving of a permanent ban and I guess I will have to accept that.

Once again, I apologize to anyone who has been exposed to my extremely poor language and chatting behaviors. I have to accept that my toxic behavior has a negative impact on everyone on my team, not just those who I am frustrated with/or defending myself from. All I ask is that at the very least you consider what I have to say here.

38 Comments

Shukr4n5/20/2018, 5:01:06 PM3 votes

no

new account is da way

Kaioko5/23/2018, 7:39:42 PM2 votes

You had me until you brought up the fact that you've spent "more money that I should have on skins." Pity is out the window -- my suggestions to you is figure out why your behavior has changed so much from where it was back in 2011-2017.

Mordius5/20/2018, 7:52:58 PM2 votes

I've been leveling a new account for 7 months now, no infractions. I've asked Riot twice, with 3 months in between, if they would consider unbanning me given I have reformed.

Their answer: They will never remove a permaban. You can spend money on your new account, or you can stop playing all together. They legitimately do not care either way.

Evertras5/20/2018, 8:02:21 PM2 votes

My Story is very similar.

I've been playing this game since 2010, gotten no restrictions until S8, finished S7 with Honor Level 4 and played in the Clash Beta.

My first offense was calling someone a "carrot f***ot" because that was a funny term in a discord we picked up. Not very appropiate, but he called me the N-Word beforehand, and got his punishment on the same game. Funnily enough I jumped every chat restriction and went into a 14 day ban instantly, which I thought was fair enough, I'll just reform and avoid chatting so much from now on.

Then a few weeks later I hit the worst loss streak I ever had, with people actively inting my games by running it down, contesting allied jungle camps, harassing me and others via chat and pings for a good amount of 10-15 games in a row. I called them "retards" 2 or 3 times (I've actively avoided the term lately but it has been in my vocabulary for a decade after all) because they triggered me so hard. The ban more or less came like a shock. I knew I wasn't the most positive in my recent games, but I didn't think I warranted a permanent ban from the game. What's more, I don't understand why there aren't more warnings before they basically give your Account the death sentence. It wouldn't really lose you anything. Just a small notice to help people keep in line. Even if you were banned recently, the game gets you worked up constantly. You forget that you're on the list.

I'm very competitive, I try my hardest every game and to be constantly provoked and actively inted on just sparks something in me bordering on homicidal tendencies. Yet these people make it a sport to dodge the system, even if it is fairly obvious that they're trolling for the hell of it after they already threw their chances of winning lane for example even though games are still easily winnable. They made my League experience so incredibly miserable that I got the account that I'm emotionally invested in (I made a lot of my current friends through League and played it with all of my friends of olden days basically) permabanned.

I've been struggling with anger issues all my life and am currently looking into therapy because it's not just eating at my League account, it's actually been destroying my social and real life for a good while now. And while I'm looking to improve my life, the big shadow that is the unlikelyness of ever getting my Account back really eats at me. Circumstances don't matter. Context is not important. It doesn't seem to be that way because it is the right choice but because it is the easiest choice.

It's sad. I'd be willing to fight for this relationship. But it doesn't seem like Riot would do the same. It feels like they don't care.

I was banned for words. Not getting chat restricted for it first but thrown out in a 1-2 Month timespan. Completely ignoring all the years I've spent, all the good moments I had with others in this game. They'd throw it all away. They don't care about me. That's why they showed me the door. You could argue, of course it's my sole responsibility to keep in check. But sometimes it's hard to do. In struggling times, some things happen. These times you try to rely on your friends. I thought Riot was that good friend. A friend would constantly remind you of your errors. Keep you in line as much as he could before something terrible happens. This? Feels more like they neglected me and let me run firsthand into it.

While I had a good time with League for a fair amount of the last 10 years, I have to say I can't go back to making a new account. I miss the old one too much, I can't get over it. I hate being automatically be banned for human interaction without some sort of human interaction at all. Playing on a new Account just constantly reminds me of it. Thus this doesn't just mark the end of the line for my Account, but possibly every spark I had left to play this game.

I'm not even looking particularily for an Unban, I completely agree with OP. Ban people for a longer period of time. Give more warnings. There are plenty of cases where discussion isn't necessary, but quite few of them really need it. Even if it is to just get over it.

All I'm actually looking for is a little human interaction. A response. Maybe a change in the system. Not a card that basically only shows me the door.

PLS GÓD NÓ5/21/2018, 9:21:15 AM1 votes

Riot doesn't unban, very rare for them to do so. Begging will get you nowhere, you had previous infractions now you are paying the price for not listening and changing the way to talk/speak/play. good to see another rule breaker gone

HalcyonDweller5/23/2018, 7:48:51 PM1 votes

Yo dude this was really well written and the humility you display in writing it is really touching.

I'm not being sarcastic.

I think that you should try and submit this in a support ticket, to hopefully get Riot to look at things. They probably won't lift your ban, but you might be able to push them to make changes to how the system works to make it more fair in the future for people like yourself who acknowledge fault and who go many games between their outbursts.

And I totally understand being upset with players who troll or who act rude in chat. Taking it out on them is still inexcusable, but that frustration you felt is still valid. Best of luck in the future, I'm sorry that you wound up in this circumstance.

Dr Cat Pooch5/26/2018, 6:58:15 PM1 votes

Things that matter:

-You were toxic enough or enough times that people reported you.

Things that DON'T matter:

-Your teammate/the enemy was feeding. -Your teammate/the enemy was toxic. -You were having a bad day. -You were only responding. -You played this game for 6-7 years. -You spent money on this game.

Honestly, you used one of the big bads, and you had just gotten off a 2 week like 2 months ago. If your first punishment was a two week, then it had to have been something bad. There is a normal progression that they skipped because what you did in the games that got you the 2 wk was so bad, 10 and 25 game chat restrictions were not appropriately harsh enough.

The biggest issue with your reasoning here is that you try to claim that other people "make" you flame. Unless that person is behind you back, making you press the buttons on your keyboard, no one is making you do anything. This is why Riot punishes those who are "only defending themselves". Take responsibility for the negativity and flame that you added to the game. You yourself admit that you filled the logs with curse words, including slurs against mentally disabled people.