So what happens to your honor when you get a 10/9 game chat restriction? It is currently locked showing lvl 1..
When you are punished, your Honor is dropped to the Dishonorable status (Honor Level 1 for first-offenders, Honor Level 0 for continued misbehavior or egregious first offenses) and locked for a short while.
The lock will automatically lift after some time of playing, and after that you need only regain your Honor through regular play without rulebreaking.
I tried to get high honors but if someone can ruin that because they upset they lost I then what's the point of trying to high honors?
People can't get you punished just because they're upset. To get punished, you would have had to break the rules alongside being reported for it. If you don't understand the reason for your punishment, you can submit the chat logs here for peer review, but otherwise, know that other people cannot impact your Honor just because they feel like it.
I mean you can't say something back when someone is flaming the whole game without risk of being CR/loosing honor in this game???
Why would you need to say anything back to them? If they're flaming the whole game, then they're beyond unreasonable, and there's no point or benefit to trying to talk to them.
If someone's flaming, you should just mute them in-game, report them post-game, and move on. Talking back to flamers just risks you getting punished as well if you can't handle the situation appropriately.