I got Perma-Banned today

MasterDimblade·4/13/2019, 2:01:27 AM·3 votes·2,648 views

I am the toughest and nastiest fighter you will run into. I love battling enemies and talking trash. Unfortunately I got caught slipping today. Now only few hours later I have totally accepted that Riot got their mitts on the nasty man and I have to shrink back into the shadows before coming back twice as strong on the account that I will have to make now.

Months ago I got a 2 week ban. I made the honest mistake of instantly closing annoying messages without reading them while trying to get my fix from riot. All that I knew was that daddy had cut me off, I just couldn't understand why. After the two weeks I came back to get a sweet taste of that rift only to find that it was sour, and lumpy. I had had enough, coming back brought no joy and a few days later I left the life that I had come to know so well in hopes of finding a bright and golden future. I stopped playing LOL for months, not expecting to return.

About a week ago I found myself returning to the place of the crime. I knew that bad things had happened here but it wasn't that bad of an offense was it? Some words here and there. Even though I cursed like a sailor in the past I worked like one too. Always trying to bring home as many w's as possible so that I could survive. I simply didn't understand how honor worked. I didn't realize that even after all that time Riot had agents waiting in alleyways across the city just waiting for me to show my ugly mug in the neighborhood again. Time in fact had not heal my reputation. Riot had orders to eliminate me as soon as possible. They just needed it to look right.

Around 12 PM today they caught me throwing up my gang sign in the direction of another player who told me that fizz had no reason to be in the jg then BLAM! No warning, they saw what they needed, they wanted my me dead not alive. They waited for me to get out of the match and made their move as I entered the lobby. I had just added the guy who reported me so that we could keep hashing out our problems out of sight like an abusive couple who fight behind closed doors. I'm starting a new match.

Bam Bam Bam, POLICE!! OH SHIT!! Even Admiral Ackbar wouldn't have enough time to let me know about the trap that would prove to be my undoing.

"Send me to hell!!!!" I screamed, foaming at the mouth as I realized that this was it, the end my journey as MasterDimblade. I would slay the last of what surely must have been millions of nerds on that account today.

Even though any thoughts of being hunted and persecuted had long since faded from my mind, Riot headquaters had apparently remembered everything as if it happened yesterday and would not forget or forgive. Another statistic.

Hopefully I can forget about all the friends from the past 8 years who I only knew how to contact in game. Shout out to Yuriyumi! (I forgot the rest) Gone are the skins that I paid for and earned over the long journey probably $200 cash over the 8 or so years (luckily for me I am a scrub). Even more importantly, the Rivals list that I accumulated is gone as well. I don't even know who I have challenged anymore.

Who am I? What am I?

A Tough Fighter

You can be damn sure that you will see me on the rift again. Ill have to watch my back more closely now and be more careful who I get into altercations with. Only the true tough fighters don't run and tell!

If you wanna 1v1 me come to baron pit homeboy. I'm going by just Dimblade now and I'm challenging you all.

16 Comments

Zombie Gerbil4/13/2019, 2:26:29 AM6 votes

So much cringe. Why would you type this in a forum that is meant to be guidance? If you want to write a novel go to a novel forum, but this isn't the place. Goodness, that was awful to read.

Xidphel4/13/2019, 2:38:20 AM3 votes

I am the toughest and nastiest fighter you will run into.

0.000314/1000

R107 Games4/13/2019, 2:13:51 AM2 votes

Player Behavior boards:

20 downvotes on a thread within 10 minutes. I sleep.

20 upvotes within 10 minutes on a reasonable thread that simply goes against the hive mind "consensus" in PB. Ascended.

lowrankhero4/13/2019, 2:17:02 AM2 votes

this some fresh fucking pasta

Telephone Booth4/13/2019, 2:07:01 AM2 votes

That might be the nerdiest thing I've ever read. An enjoyable read. Thanks.

FireDrizzle4/13/2019, 2:10:35 AM2 votes

-18???? Philistines.

CharDeeMcDenniz4/13/2019, 3:57:43 AM1 votes

{quoted}

I am the toughest and nastiest fighter you will run into.

stopped reading here, e-peen too big

General Esdeath 4/13/2019, 6:58:48 AM1 votes

Can I get some meatballs for this copy pasta?

mell0w4/13/2019, 9:00:51 PM1 votes

This is a F@#%ING Masterpiece! R.I.P. MasterDimblade.

MasterDimblade4/14/2019, 5:52:16 AM1 votes

Game 1 In-Game MasterDimblade: u2 MasterDimblade: how so MasterDimblade: i had no ult MasterDimblade: cry more MasterDimblade: shut up ez MasterDimblade: not my fault you lost YOUR lane MasterDimblade: we MasterDimblade: we lost drag MasterDimblade: your toxic af MasterDimblade: report this ez MasterDimblade: cant shut his mouth from 10 mins in MasterDimblade: who cares your delusional if you think i have ANYTHING to do with this stomp MasterDimblade: ez calling me a troll MasterDimblade: dont blame me when you are trash MasterDimblade: im not the one who made draven 2 hit ppl MasterDimblade: you were alrteady engage MasterDimblade: your r%%%%%ed MasterDimblade: oh good one kid MasterDimblade: weklll if you didnt get your ass beat Post-Game MasterDimblade: lol MasterDimblade: fizz doesnt belong in jg? MasterDimblade: just focus on yourself kid MasterDimblade: and try to get some dmg done MasterDimblade: yeah but it was traded badly MasterDimblade: otherwise you would have kills