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My Toxicity got me permanently banned today.

JaxSpider·10/29/2015, 10:48:20 PM·40 votes·5,477 views

I've been playing this addictive game for almost 3~4 years now. Recently I was temp banned for the same thing. After my ban was lifted I told myself, I will not let that happen again. I would just mute others or walk away and take a breather... but for some reason my temper keeps getting the best of me. I knew it was going to catch up with me. In the back of my head every time I said something, I knew it was going to bite me one day.

Today was that day. I had 3 back to backs horrible games piled up on me. Where someone got under my skin... and I went off on them. Not a little bit but constant nonstop harassment. I was so inflammatory and offensive. I was spewing rage to spite the ones who "offended" me. Just so I can get back at them. I'm not gonna blame anyone but myself. Its a game and it has rules. I knowingly broke the verbal abuse rule. I'm a grown adult and you have no idea how embarrassed I am for what I wrote. Its ridiculous. Re-reading the logs and I can't bury my face into my palms hard enough.

I wish I could say that I'd learn my lesson if I were unbanned but honestly I have no idea how to do that. Every year I'd get temp banned for 14 days, then I'd say I'll learn from it. Then a half a year or so later I'd be back to my old ways. Its so frustrating that I can't control my personality. I know what I did was forbidden behavior, but at that moment my angry was so blinding I couldn't stop myself. Again, its no excuse, just what went through my mind at the time. And now I reap what I sowed.

Hilariously whenever I had chat restrictions (I've had over 500+ of those as well. No proud of this either), I was never nearly as toxic because I had to save my allowed comments for the important things (like MIAs) and because I was already chat restricted it felt like I had a guillotine over my head. When the chat restrictions went away so did the constant dread of punishment. I honestly think that is what some users like myself need permanently. Maybe if the chat box would just become disabled if a negative "trigger" word was written up. If I had a choice, I'd rather be permanently chat resisted or even not allowed to type at all then be permanently banned for being allowed to wrote horrible things.

On a final note, The thing I regret most is not the thousands of games I had on my favorite 3 champs, or the few skins I have, it is that my username has been with me for almost two decades. And now its permanently banned from my favorite game. I wish I could get it back some how. It means too much for me. I wish I could do some sort of community service to show how much I regret my actions.

Thanks for listening,

Jaxspider

P.S. This my first time posting a thread. So I apologize in advance if I'm doing it wrong.

84 Comments

elduris10/29/2015, 11:34:29 PM29 votes

I know it's a joke that gets thrown around a lot, but unbinding your enter key is sure to do the trick. How can you be rude if you can't chat? ;)

Sorry to hear about your account. I'm glad that you see your mistakes and are willing to make improvements, though. That's the mindset you need to make sure your next account isn't suspended for the same behavior.

ModUlanopo10/30/2015, 2:34:12 AM10 votes

P.S. This my first time posting a thread. So I apologize in advance if I'm doing it wrong.

You're doing it right.

Xelvi10/29/2015, 11:41:33 PM3 votes

http://kotaku.com/a-guide-to-playing-league-of-legends-and-its-ilk-withou-1733446753

If you decide to level another account, here's a great article on why games like League trigger toxic reactions and how you can help yourself avoid toxic behaviours by understanding the triggers and using certain techniques.

Bruddah Mase10/30/2015, 6:41:25 AM2 votes

I got permabanned a few years ago and this account is right on the brink. Fuck it, the nerds on this game aren't humans anyways and if theyre pathetic enough to spam the best champions every game because this is all they have going on in their lives and they have to reach diamond, ill talk shit to them.

9kPluzZ10/30/2015, 4:19:00 AM1 votes

Honestly, i dont understand why its so hard for some people not to be toxic. Its a game enjoy it, and if not enjoying it afk/leave. Riot doesn't ban for afking.