BANNED (what is toxicity?)

So i basically got perma banned today it sucks I've put 100s of hours into the account and tbh i don't think the decision to ban me was correct. I will be honest in the past i have been very toxic person but i have worked on it and have tried to say less terrible things. again i'm not saying im innocent but today i get perma banned. This was my last offense but my first 3 offenses were over a year ago and i have since changed , trust me i was really toxic back then. here is each game and i will explain what went on in each and what happened.

Game 1 BUTTSPESH: im just gonna assume this is a loss then BUTTSPESH: if we win what ever BUTTSPESH: well i guess they afked already BUTTSPESH: yes BUTTSPESH: sigh BUTTSPESH: because ur trash and have no map awarness BUTTSPESH: mean while i tried to save ur ass BUTTSPESH: wont make that mistake agian BUTTSPESH: oom BUTTSPESH: ok BUTTSPESH: im just farming BUTTSPESH: dont ask for help anymore BUTTSPESH: trash BUTTSPESH: there fed bro BUTTSPESH: makes no sense to fight BUTTSPESH: just farm BUTTSPESH: kayle BUTTSPESH: stp BUTTSPESH: u al suck BUTTSPESH: im dead ass BUTTSPESH: repory my team for troll picks please BUTTSPESH: hes a %%%got BUTTSPESH: im gonna beat thsi guy BUTTSPESH: gj BUTTSPESH: nice BUTTSPESH: yeah kayle sit there do nothing BUTTSPESH: its ok BUTTSPESH: let them get tier 2 BUTTSPESH: ol BUTTSPESH: woulda worked BUTTSPESH: there gonna do baron BUTTSPESH: jihn ult BUTTSPESH: DRAGON BUTTSPESH: fuck u guyd BUTTSPESH: terrible tesm BUTTSPESH: if u guys were there we coulda killed him BUTTSPESH: no BUTTSPESH: if we went as a team he woulda been dead BUTTSPESH: but like a classic idiot BUTTSPESH: u all went to farm BUTTSPESH: waves are buloiin BUTTSPESH: ward baron BUTTSPESH: dont fight i almsot have rylys BUTTSPESH: ffs BUTTSPESH: jihn? BUTTSPESH: what are u ding dude BUTTSPESH: dummy BUTTSPESH: ur so bad kayle BUTTSPESH: nice throw BUTTSPESH: wtf i soging on mid BUTTSPESH: lol BUTTSPESH: im dying rn BUTTSPESH: we gotta fight elder BUTTSPESH: KAYLE STOP BUTTSPESH: GO BACK BUTTSPESH: KAYLE BUTTSPESH: FUCK U KAYLE BUTTSPESH: FUCK U BUTTSPESH: AKYLE? BUTTSPESH: fuck this kayle

OK so this game was inexcusable if i'm being honest i've been on the verge of promos all day and i have kept getting people picking these off meta picks in ranked who just say "go with it" i got very tired of these people and my anger is obviously seen in the text. but what i will say in my defense is i tried so hard in this game i mean you can go to my match history and see i try in every game i play. what makes me upset is that these people, pick champs that are not meta in ranked solo que, feed and waste. when they could have gone something that fits the meta also i ask my team to listen to my pings and they ignore it blatantly telling me to "not ping them" and they get aggressive with me so my all caps was me trying to get them to help in team fights or combat a huge wave bot or an objective not to just do so for no reason because they wouldn't listen. again i'm not defending myself i was vile this game but again its not like i just went to pick a fight i was antagonized by players who play ranked for "fun" and not to actually try and win and it got to me because again i want to win. why play ranked if Ur messing around? makes no sense. at the end when i yelled at Kayle it was becaues she trolled and let the enemy teemo back door our nexus she had plenty of time to stop him infact he had to kill 2 nexus turrets. both of our teams were aced and kayle could 1v1 the teemo. instead he decided to keep pushing the lane, the entire team told kayle to go back but he just went silent and continued to ignore the teemo at our base and we lost because of it.

Game 2 BUTTSPESH: thats so brkoen BUTTSPESH: and yet u didnt fucking banhim BUTTSPESH: fucking stupid BUTTSPESH: i said over 3 times to ban talon BUTTSPESH: ffs BUTTSPESH: that dmg is so broken fr BUTTSPESH: itsa a talon BUTTSPESH: he can hop over alls lol BUTTSPESH: did i not say to ban talon? BUTTSPESH: no BUTTSPESH: its talon BUTTSPESH: he woulda got a double BUTTSPESH: ur bronze u dont know that tho BUTTSPESH: as i said in que BUTTSPESH: talon is broken BUTTSPESH: u should have listneed and banned him BUTTSPESH: help u feed? no thanks m8 BUTTSPESH: ill farm for late game BUTTSPESH: wow BUTTSPESH: can u shut up with that toxcicity? BUTTSPESH: like jesus BUTTSPESH: "this jinx" that doesnt help anyone BUTTSPESH: y fight BUTTSPESH: that wasnt smart m8 BUTTSPESH: stfu BUTTSPESH: u have 11 deaths BUTTSPESH: uf the reason were in this mess BUTTSPESH: he can GO OVER WALLS BUTTSPESH: WHAT DONT U GET ABOUT THAt BUTTSPESH: HE CAN HOP OVER WALLS I CANT CHASE HIM BUTTSPESH: my fault u cant ward BUTTSPESH: lol BUTTSPESH: ok BUTTSPESH: fight dragon BUTTSPESH: wow BUTTSPESH: why would u have gone in on that BUTTSPESH: good game teemos is te ebst ever

in this game i was cursing yes and this is wrong! but i was not directing it at anyone at first just the situation it was more of a way for me to vent out how strong talon is right know. but what ended up happening was there was a teemo top who was complaining about basically everything in game, saying bot was terrible, i was terrible. telling me to follow a fed talon to save him top. i tried to tell him i wasn't gonna chase a talon and even if i could he can hop over walls im not gonna blow my ulti to save him when i can push mid or do something else productive. so the entire game this teemo flamed me and everyone on our team i tried my hardest not to be super cancerous with my responses which i think i did ok at. but i disagree with this report as being toxic again i was not referring to anyone when i was cursing in the beginning . and when i said the phrase "this jinx" doesn't help anyone. i was defending our jinx from the toxic teemo. basically telling him his little comments were not helping. again i am being toxic but this teemo was drawing it out of everyone on the team we were all telling him to be quiet. looking back at this and thinking back on the game i should have just muted him and moved on lesson learned because it was obvious he was trying to get people to be angry and upset.

Game 3 BUTTSPESH: if we win im in promos BUTTSPESH: so please BUTTSPESH: i need to get out of fucking bronze BUTTSPESH: shits aids BUTTSPESH: i won 7 out of 10 games and got placed bronze 5 BUTTSPESH: makes no sense BUTTSPESH: gj BUTTSPESH: really? BUTTSPESH: lol BUTTSPESH: how have i screwed u 2 times? BUTTSPESH: yeah she blames everyone but herself BUTTSPESH: might be doing dragon BUTTSPESH: my fucking ping spikes everytime BUTTSPESH: this is annoiyng me BUTTSPESH: thresh and naut why did u fight a 2v4 tho? BUTTSPESH: u think we lost the game? BUTTSPESH: lol BUTTSPESH: ur just as abd as her BUTTSPESH: if ur gonna be like that bro BUTTSPESH: im not the one feeding BUTTSPESH: u are BUTTSPESH: becaues im better than that BUTTSPESH: T%F BUTTSPESH: push bot BUTTSPESH: that thresh is landing some grat hooks BUTTSPESH: get dragon maybe BUTTSPESH: renekoton is amost alive BUTTSPESH: maybe done BUTTSPESH: GET OFF BUTTSPESH: jesus BUTTSPESH: we cant get anything BUTTSPESH: ward baron BUTTSPESH: we need some objectiv BUTTSPESH: stop fucking farming BUTTSPESH: BARON BUTTSPESH: BARON@!#$!#$!#$@ BUTTSPESH: JINX? BUTTSPESH: WHAT AN IDIOT BUTTSPESH: took so long to make a call ] BUTTSPESH: ur all stupid BUTTSPESH: u took 30 seconds to get to baron BUTTSPESH: games oer BUTTSPESH: report this jinx BUTTSPESH: bog lane and darius BUTTSPESH: i mean jesus

OK so again this game i was trying not to be toxic again i will say Im not being helpful in the chat. but my adc jinx was saying i screwed her over and basically saying i was bad at the game which i will say i was missing all my charms that game(which i didn't my mid lane roamed bot when i backed and i pinged and she had no reaction). i then got ganged up on by my team which is why near the end of the game i became defensive and more toxic i was just trying to win, and tell my team how we can do so. As u can see i was getting frustrated because no one was doing anything and at the same time blaming me for everything.saying i allowed the mid lane to get fed when they could have just listened to my MIA pings and warded, and the last most toxic part of the chat was basically the end of the game we had a good team fight and our entire team just went to go farm and back when we were all healthy. they took no objectives or anything. they took over 30 seconds just to makes the decision to attack baron(which i made and after 30 seconds i told them to leave which they didn't listen at that point)which in turn lost us the game because they attacked baron too late and the enemy team spawned and aced the team. after that we lost the game which made me upset because i knew if they had gone on baron immediately we would have won the game. i was basically reported for trying to communicate with my team who didn't want to communicate or even work together.

In closing maybe i deserved my perma ban. but what is frustrating is that i care more about this game than any of the people who reported me. i care so much, that i get emotionally invested in ranked. I want to win, i mean why play ranked if not to advance and get better? isn't that the goal? why play ranked if ur not striving to get better and to achieve more? what i want to know is why don't people who consistently do terrible in ranked get banned {i mean if u go 1/15/0 for 5 plus games that's terrible!} why people who don't listen to fellow teammates don't get banned? why people who play braum mid dont get banned? Maybe not perma banned like me, but banned from ranked in general for a set amount of games just till they improve or learn more about league. I finish my argument with this, am i toxic for caring about winning and working together with my team to achieve victory and glorious lp? Or is it toxic for people to pick braum mid, or not pick up smite when your role is a jgler or someone who feeds 10 kills and says nothing nor communicates or expresses himself to his team or heeds there advice? or the guy who joins and says hes going to play a "new" champ hes never played in any game before in ranked? or lastly the guy who says "screw you" to his team and split pushes all game? because if you ask me that's toxicity, I may say a lot of things in game but one thing that mostly remains consistent about me and league is that i try my hardest. And i do well usually, u can see this in my match history i'm usually the one carrying my team. should i be penalized because people who just don't care play a game mode where you should care? ranked is a place where winning matters and if you don't think so don't play. i have no issues loosing normal games because that's what it's there for! normal games are for fun! but when you enter ranked and you "don't care" that's just wrong and in my opinion the most toxic thing in all of league.