Character select lag of 5+seconds and lots and lots of other things wrong

I have no idea why this happens, or how it's supposed to make sense, and mostly I just tolerate it, but I've had one too many que dodge timers initiated today because I've been having this absurd problem at the champion select. In game I get typically less than 50 ms latency but in champ select I get something unholy going on with my connection. Now, every week or so for some odd reason when I start the client I have to wait half an hour for it to go back to a previous patch and restore itself (once or twice), which I also tolerate because I do rather enjoy the game.

Please note that the lag spikes at irregular intervals and it applies to ALL things I try to do in champion select, (masteries, now rune pages, summoner spells; and I think I have more difficulty banning and selecting a champion than I do playing a tank against teemo top lane. So please look into this. It's near-unbearable.