New free champion rotation: Draven, Kindred, Malzahar and more!

#A Corporate Matter Episode: Orianna And The 20/20 Vision Forest. (Note, name may be misleading, as Orianna is not in this story.)

"Why in the world are we out here in the forbidden forest?"

"Because, they wouldn't let me have any tea while I was disabled. So we are out here looking for some rare ingredients to make some most delicious tea."

"And, why did I have to come?"

"You see, a story with just me wouldn't do so well. The people like you and expect you here."

"Well, that's a stupid reason."

"I know, but the writer couldn't think of anything better."

"At least that explains why I followed you out here without knowing why."

"Besides, I get lonely searching for things all by myself, chap."

"It's ok Gentleman Kog'Maw, I think this is fun."

"Be careful out here, there are all kinds of freaky things in these woods. Werewolves and dragons, giant blind spiders. Just stick with me and make sure not to get lost. It's not all bad, though, there are good things in here too. The centaurs are all right, and the unicorns... Uh, guys? Where did you guys go?"

"SORAKA! GENTLEMAN KOG'MAW!!!! Nope, I'm lost. This is gonna be it for me. I'll probably get eaten by Zergling, or maybe a demon from the nth dimension. At least, then Sam and Dean might investigate my death. Man, I am never going to have Nachos again."

"Well then, I guess today is Nacho lucky day."

"WHO SAID THAT? I SWEAR, MAKE ANOTHER PUN LIKE THAT AND I'LL CUT YOU."

"Sadly, many have forgotten my existence, I am Death Blossom Elise."

"Death? Oh no, does that mean you are gonna eat me?"

"Haha no, we would never eat something like you. Only plants, and humans. Come follow me, I will show you around our flower home."

"Who have you brought to our place? We must not get distracted from the war."

"It's alright, Death Blossom Kha'Zix, I found him lost and alone."

"War, what war?"

"We are at war with Elderwood, who think they are the rulers of the forest. And the Haunted, who really just want to kill everything."

"Why don't you join in the war?"

"Yeah, we could use someone to make a Difference. As I always say, change is good."

"Do you have to say that every single time. Is that like, the only quote you have?"

"No....... I, uhhh, I must consume and adapt." "Turns invisible."

"Yeah, I don't really like fighting or anything. I just love money."

"I hear the Elderwoods have a huge treasure stash. If you help us defeat them, you can have a cut."

"TO WAR!!!!!"

Meanwhile:

"I knew I shouldn't have stopped to smell those flowers. But everyone always told me to do it."

"As lone as they aren't blossoms, you should be fine."

"Zyra, what are you doing out here?"

"I'm Elderwood Leblanc, not Zyra. Why do People always make that mistake?"

"Can you help me, I seem to be lost."

"Maybe, but first I have to bring news of the war back to base. Come with if you'd like."

"This place is so pretty, how could you bring war here?"

"There are those that want to take what we have away from us. The Death Blossoms and the Haunted. They all just want to kill everything we hold dear. But our kingdom has stood strong for over forty-four hundred years. Or six, not sure, as league wasn't around that long ago."

"I can't let anyone harm this, I will help you defend this place. At least, until the rescue party comes for me."

"Thank you, kind goat lady. Elderwood Bard, go collect the forest Meeps. Our final battle will soon be upon us."

"♫♫♫♫"

"Hey, that's an odd mountain, it looks like its made of wood."

"That's no moontain, It's just Elderwood Hecarim."

"HELLO TINY PURPLE SPEC!!!!!!"

"AHHHHHHH, WHY IS IT SO BIG!!!!!!!"

"Yeah, there's a reason we haven't ever lost a war."

Meanwhile:

"It appears I am on my own now. All by myself, don't want to be, all by myself. Oh, can it be. The one and only, diamond smurf bush. It is said to make tea so tasteful you can see the hand of Rito. But wait, It could be the bronze troll bush, which is toxic to everything. Delectable Tea, or deadly poison?"

A few minutes later:

"Yep, definitely not a diamond smurf. I can already feel the rage setting in. Most, report, team, for, feeding. Blame everything on forever bronze. Never, place, WARDS!!!!!"

"You look like you could use some help. Here, let me ult, that should carry you up out of that bronze state."

"Thanks so much, Haunted Maokai. I was worried I would get permabanned there. Is there anything I can do to repay you?"

"Well, we are about to have this big battle with the two factions we are at war with."

"I don't know, being a mass machine gun of war is my normal self's dream, not mine."

"I am sure their smoking corpses would make some fine tea."

"You are right, and it's not really killing if it's a plant, as they aren't really alive."

"Stares meanly."

"Oh, but not you two of course. You are half zombie, half plant. Very much full of life. By the way, why are you guys at war?"

"The stupid Elderwoods stole my tombstones. They think they can just take what they want. NOW IT NEVER LOOKS RIGHT WHEN I Q!" "Sobs."

"There there, it's ok. Also, the Death Blossoms somehow keep ending up overpowered and killing everything."

"Let's do this then, chaps."

Somewhere else in the forest:

"So this is the Forbidden Forest, I don't know why, but I expected it to be blind."

Orianna, what are you doing here? Great, now you have made me a liar, I said you wouldn't be here."

"The ball is angry, it says we have barely gotten any time in these stories."

Yeah, your not the only one. And now you got two whole lines of dialogue. I would say that's enough. Run along now. Great, now I need to rebuild the fourth wall again. HEY, YOU ARE NOT SUPPOSED TO TALK TO THE READERS, THERE IS NORMALLY A WALL HERE. GO ON, GET AWAY YA RASCALS.

It's a bad week for the ADC mains :D

I find this free rotation to be... ...Outrageous (I will be that guy)

Yall comment fast

anyone else like pizza?

DISCRETION IS ADVISED THERE IS SWEARING

League of Free Champs EPISODE 1: Dawn of Draven

Draven, can you leash?

...

Draven? Can you?

...

DRAVEN I SWEAR...

...

You're not pronouncing his name right...

(Mutters something about Draven being a narcissistic b**ch)

FINE, DRAAAAAAAAAAVEN, GIVE ME A F**KING LEASH

That's better you little sheep-dog

(After calming down finally) You know, your name is Draven right?

...

You aren't pronouncing it right.

GOD DAMN IT

League of Free Champs EPISODE 2: All Riven Players Are Toxic

Hey f**k you Malz.

?

You never gank for me you weeb.

I do...

You ganked for me once you lying pile of trash

...

You fking scumfk bastard pile of trash, I hope you're gunned down in the street like the degenerate you are. (References?)

Proceeds to unleash the void (hacks) and ults his own teammate, Riven

Now enraged WTF ARE YOU DOING YOU RETARDED FOOL

She dies

YES FINALLY WOO

GOOD JOB MALZ!

woo

gems

Excellent

DRAAAAAAAAAAVEN

(After the game) You have been banned for 5 days for using cheats/hacks

FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU...

Quinn's free?? that's when her play rate goes from 1% to 1.5%

Was just debating whether to buy or ; at least I bought

Here come the toxic tryhard noobs Saves enemy team with ult Just don't chase him and you will be fine Even though a mid laner feels like he is all lanes with that ult Welp looks like i'm not going mid this week Has more speed then rammus with that ult Darkness everywhere Is anyone going to be playing this guy this week Heals damage heals repeat Dravvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvven

4 champs I want to try, which is bad news when you're trying to play less LoL.

Finally I'll get to try Kindred!!! :D

Riven free to play? Better break out the good ole Garen again.

: well, what else can I say? 100000% more DRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAVEN!!! : 40% more weird ganks, either leaving you decimated, or just like, "what just happened?" : 80% more "OH MY GOD GET OUT OF THE WAY VOIDLINGS AND NIGHTMARES!" : 60% more random tidal waves washing over the Fields of Justice : 75% more "yep now I'm blind aaaaaaaannd cut to pieces" : 10% more people will play her and realize, "wait a sec, she's pretty good!" : 150% toxicity level rise : 90% more, "why did I think I could chase him...why?" : this week will be 100% more outraaaageous : 95% more, "HOW DOES HE KEEP HITTING ME? WHERE IS HE?! GOOD GOD I'M STUNNED AGAIN!!!"

Did I miss anything?

Since when was nocturne a free week? What's next Yorick?

Kindred!!! YAY!!! I luv So muchh!!!

no one likes me :<

life

Life deal with it

Oh look, Riven is free. Perfect time to level a smurf :)

Since I plan to play Riven, I feel like I'm going to need help learning to be a toxic piece of shit. Am I suppose to tell my jungler that he is trash for not ganking for me AND that the enemy top laner is trash? Because those seem like mutually exclusive statements.

Man i wonder when yorick is gonna b free

ah yes nami aka lemme waste my mana on missed bubbles and wonder why twitch didnt peel for me