New free champion rotation: Caitlyn, Irelia, Maokai and more!

A Corporate Matter. Episode: Jhin-ness Protection.

"This is Forcast Janna reporting in. It seems that there has been another death threat. This time against Piltover police officer, Vi. That brings the total number of death threats to four. And, in case you have been living under a rock for the past week. I will provide a brief recap of the events. Someone going by the name of Deadeye has left mysterious death threats for four of the greatest champions around. First Zed, then Sona, Garen and now Vi. We can only hope that these are all just some sick and twisted prank."

Not too long later:

"Alright, I don't care who this Deadeye guy is. We are not letting him kill Sona."

"I mean, out of all the people to care about. You pick my rival. But at least, you are showing some love for someone."

"No, you see. They raised the minimum wage I need to pay people like her. But she signed a contract before then. So I get to keep paying her less than experts estimate is enough to live on. Hmm, maybe that is why she has to work a second job as a DJ on the weekends."

"Well, it's still sweet that you have some value for another person's life."

"..."

"Wait, what? Witness protection? What did you witness?"

"That's just what we call it. It's really when we need to hide anyone who is in danger of dying."

"Or in danger of getting killed."

"I'm pretty sure getting killed counts as dying."

"Oh, you meant dying as in, not living no more. I thought you meant, like, changing their color or something. Like the great Blucian massacre. Man, that guy dyed everyone. But I doubt Deadeye is going to just change their colors. Then again, his threats were all in a different color. I think I figured something out. Yeah, Deadeye was really meant to say, Da dye. But he got some cheap threat cards and they misspelled it. He doesn't want to kill anyone. He just wants to give you all a makeover. I mean, you could really use one Sona."

"..."

"Ma'am, please watch your language. Remember, You are talking to officers of the law. And Constable Trundle, would you shut up. Deadeye isn't here for to give makeovers. You shouldn't jump to conclusions like that. Besides, it's obviously Teemo doing this. That little Yordle can't be trusted."

"Yeah, well you. Wait, no he is right. I really wouldn't be surprised if Deadeye turned out to be a Teemo. But you are still ugly."

"Wait, Captain Volibear and Constable Trundle. You guys are in charge of keeping Sona alive?"

"That is correct, civilian."

"Well Sona, it was nice knowing you. I hope you're not offended, but I won't be attending your funeral unless it's during work hours and I still get paid for it."

"Yeah, I felt the same way when they showed up to get me."

Earlier:

"Hey Vi! We are here to get you out safe. No need to fear, your life is in our hands now."

"..."

"Hey, you ok? Are you really Sona in disguise? I think we broke her."

"Oh, sorry. My whole life just flashed before my eyes. You know, like it does when you know it's all over. Dear Rito, what have I done to deserve this? Well, as long as I have my Power Gauntlets, who could hurt me?"

Back to now:

"Now guys, you are being a little harsh. I am sure these two are more than capable of stopping someone from assassinating Sona."

"What does assassinating mean?"

"Pretty sure it's when Frostblade Irelia kills someone by showing them her splash art. Or maybe when DJ Sona kills someone by dancing."

"Yeah, no, nevermind. Sona you are completely and utterly dead. I would say it was nice knowing you. But it really wasn't."

"So, do you guys have any sort of leads?"

"Yeah, we think he might also go by the name of Jhin."

"So don't you worry. We are going to find that Dragon and slay him so he doesn't hurt any of you."

"Ughhh, you idiots. Ao Shin is the dragon. Not Ao Jhin or whatever ran through your little, blue ward's sight radius, sized minds."

"Alright, me and Zed made it."

"Yeah, where the heck are you going to take us that is safer than my ninja academy."

"How do you call a place where the only living thing is you and your shadow an academy. OOOOOOHHH, BURN!"

"Hey, you don't know anything about my place."

"Yeah I do. Shen spied on it and saw only you, alone. Evidently he is a better ninja than you as well. Oooooooh, double burn. What do you do all day? Just play rock paper scissors and somehow manage to almost always lose to your own shadow. OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!! SOMEONE BETTER CALL AN ASTROPHYSICIST, CAUSE WE JUST BURNT SOME DARKNESS UP IN HERE!!!!"

"N-n-no. YOU SHUTUP!!! Just tell me where you are going to take us, Captain Volibear."

"Uhhh, we have to take you somewhere? I thought we'd just bring you all together. And you would form some sort of Justice League Avengers type thing and go kill Deadeye."

"I have an idea, how about we just leave everyone in here. Deadeye will never expect it."

"That has got to be the most, Brilliant idea I have ever heard. Good job Rookie!"

"I have been a cop for ten years now, sir."

"So, your grand plan to hide them all from Deadeye, is to leave them all at Sona's workplace. Oh yeah, he would never think to look there first."

"That's why it's so brilliant. Until this Deadeye guy is caught, none of you are allowed to leave here. Otherwise, you might tip him off that they are hiding here. And we really can't afford for him to kill any of you. We all remember what happened with Gangplank, I don't think any of us would survive the riots if all he killed all four of you. Now if you don't mind, I need to get going. Some jerk made all my uniforms a hot pink and I kinda look like Umbridge when I wear em'. So I need to dye them all back to Blue."

"Ok, which dye do you mean. You want to kill your outfits or?"

"Think real hard on this. Look at the sentence structure. Why would I want to kill my Uniform?"

"Ah, ok. You want to change its color. Got ya."

"Good job rookie!. As a reward, we can take you out for some Total Biscuits later."

"I am not a rookie anymore. Like I said, ten years and all."

"Well, time for us to get going. Remember, wait, what was I supposed to remember to tell them to remember? Doesn't matter, just don't any of you get shot. It means a lot of hard to read paperwork, with some really big words, if you do."

"As a fellow law enforcement officer. I, Guard Dog Warwick, vow to help make sure whoever is doing this is brought to justice. And to keep all those staying here as safe as wolfingly possible."

"Great, now I feel completely safe. I didn't even think it was possible to feel more safe than I did when Captain Volibear was here. But you have done it."

"I don't think this Guard Dog Warwick is very good. I have no idea how he makes you feel safe."

"Don't mind him, He is Demacian. Any form of sarcasm just goes over his head."

"Nothing goes over my head. I would just yell, JUSTICE! And ult it down."

"Well, if you are all going to be staying here, I had better clear out the spare room and find some beds."

"I will come with you. Deadeye could be anywhere, even in this closet. I must protect you all. No one move an inch until I get back. It isn't safe to go do anything without me."

"Ok Guard Dog Warick, that is a little close. I need personal space. BACK OFF!"

"Let me just check all in this closet for any intruders. Nope, don't see anything deadly in- AHHHHHHHHHH SPIDER ON MY FACE, SPIDER ON MY FACE. GET IT OFF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" "Runs around in terror until he hits a wall and knocks himself out."

"Ok, no one touch him. I want to enjoy some peace for five minutes. Maybe if we are lucky, that will have put him in a coma. But just in case, let him be."

Sometimes I wonder why they make 450 IP champs free, waste of a free slot if ya ask me.

My thoughts on the champions this week Ready for the Ace in the butt hole Pretty splash art but where the nerf hammer? I legit wanted to try this guy now's my chance...Thanks! I heard she's an offensive support... I may try Waits for rework... Mannequins already creep me out and now you got one :( Since I'm a jungle main this girl's on my list Remember when he was point and click? If the consume annoys you... im so sorry .....ult is annoying and can end you in a team fight

I just bought cait.

All right, Maokai. He's surprisingly awesome as a support. More people should try him.

Hey guys i'm going to try to make my own stories as much as possible like mr. king Dellron (a corporate matter) from now on. so i hope you enjoy them and i'll be posting them next time. btw they will usually be on the skins sales and sometimes free rotation. Have fun reading my piece of shit stories about who knows what. <3

IM A TREEEEE!!!!

Is this update, Riot's way of telling us we need more people willing to supp?

I bought Tahm like a week ago. But at least I get to try Rek'Sai out before I buy her whenever she's on sale this month.

<3 Get rdy for the QQ threads about tahm too "op" :D

hahahahha

NIce:)

havent seen in a while

Why is this not up yet?

so apparently i SHOULD be reading these little stories on updates. man.

Why no gnar?

if all your team uses on 1 turret... its op as

Good God I hate ...soooooo many snowballs

or would be cool to try out. I've been waiting to try our Orianna

Please put lux and let Blanche free to play

Last 2 games have had troll tahm kenches who think it's funny to spit friendly under enemy towers when behind... I've now dodged 3 games in a row from tahm kench picks... thanks rito

for some reason not letting me get on league of legends I think its glitched for me