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#A Corporate Matter Episode: Writing lore is like firing an arrow, sometimes you hit a bullseye and other times you really really really really miss the mark

"THERE HE IS, THAT'S THE MAN THAT TOUCHED ME!"

"Wait, what?"

"Don't worry, I'll make sure he never touches anyone again."

"Hold on now, I didn't touch anyone in a way that I could only get away with if I was president. Besides, even if I did. I would have gotten permission first."

"I'm just a little girl, I can't give consent."

"What! You said you were thousands of years old!"

"That excuse only works with anime."

"No, trust me, I couldn't have touched her."

"Better have some proof buddy. Or we are going to mount your head on the wall of the Vandal cave."

"Okay, I thought we agreed to stop calling it special names. It's just a bar, we don't even own it."

"I still think we should call it Vandal City."

"Guys, can we stop getting distracted and get back to killing the %%%%phile?"

"Guys, it can't have been me. Because I'm, uh, I'm, I'm gay!"

"Dude, we've read your lore. We know that's not true. You can't just say that to get out of a public lynching."

"What, no no, trust me. It's in the lore."

"Alright, let's go to the Corporate Office and check. But if you're lying, I am going to slow roast you."

"The quickest path is to walk up this river. So prepare to get wet."

"Sigh."

"Quickly outruns the vandals." "Gotta get there first. I knew this Rune of Waterwalking would come in handy."

Meanwhile:

"That movie was amazing! So, Thor x Hulk confirmed?"

"I think you are reading way too much into it."

"Not gonna stop my new fan fiction. I'm tired of writing conventional relationships."

"Bursts into room." "MAKE ME GAY!"

"YES! Do you have any idea how long I have been waiting to hear you say that."

"You're just going to do it, no questions asked?"

"Nope, don't care about your boring life. My lore is so much more interesting."

"Damn, the vandals got here fast. I'll try and distract them as long as I can. Hurry up with th-"

"Done!"

"Already? How did you-"

"Like I said, I've been waiting for this."

"Alright, come out and accept your beating."

"No no, my lore is right here! See, I'm gay! Also, I'm a Darkin? With two other dudes constantly talking in my head? What the hell is this?"

"You're right. I'm so sorry for not believing you and trying to enforce the patriarchy's rule. You are truly brave for coming out even when you didn't want to. I hope you have a wonderful rest of your day."

"So I'm some sadistic archer with schizophrenia? What am I even getting vengeance for? How do any of my voice lines make sense now?"

"You'll get used to the new you. Oh man, I'm so excited for everyone to read this. All the players are going to love it!"

#"They did not"

I feel like riot is trying to troll me with the fact that I just wasted 10 days of getting 4800BE and buying Zed and wasting 36 Project tokens to get Arcade Riven when I don't play Riven

Welp I guess I'm gonna play Zed now

WHERE DID YOU COME FROM Go outside Actually I haven't seen this guy recently R.I.P 5.0 attack speed Long range nuke? Ok. Actually OP. Ban him if you can. No comment. Is it wrong to say I can knock up Poppy as well? A famous one-liner? Ok. [Insert bronze joke here] I'm not gay, but Taric is sexy af [Insert trolling joke here] Can you just die? More Redmercy wannabees

Are we not gonna talk about WUKONG tho? He needs a lore update this is kinda boring, they should make him a pimp.

malz the new ap assassin ori the new support