#A Corporate Matter
Episode: Schizophrementalist
"I really think we outdid ourselves this time Jimmy. After searching through so many different dimensions we have finally found her. I didn't think it was possible for us to beat Star Guardian Lux, but here is proof I'm wrong."
"Where am I?"
"You are in my studio. I am Art Master Malzahar. This is my Voidling, Jimmy. I am in charge of adding new skins to the league of legends. And you are perhaps the most beautiful thing I have ever found or made. A perfect version of normal Lux in every way. Just a simple power over light, nothing else. Perfect."
"But I have power over all elements, not just light."
"He doesn't need to know that."
"What, I'm not just going to lie to him."
"Well you should, he might not let us stay if he knows."
"She's right, do you really want to go back to fighting that giant rock monster."
"You three need to be quiet, he is looking at us weird."
"Uhhhh, you okay?"
"Yeah, just having an argument with my other forms."
"Other forms?"
Yeah, ten of us. All inhabiting the same body."
"We can change at will, here let me show you."
"Transforms into Mystic Lux."
"Great, now he knows."
"Why do you always have to be such a showoff, Mystic?"
"Well excuse me, I'm tired of Light always getting to do everything."
"You are even better than I could have possibly imagined. Everyone must have access to someone like you."
"Corporate Mundo's money senses tingling. Have you got any spectacular product? Outsourced servant."
"You arrived just in time. I have found the greatest thing in all existence. She might be a little odd."
"Awwwww, he's so cute. Roll over so I can rub your belly."
"I love his sweater."
"I hate pets."
"You're just a ray of sunshine, aren't you, Dark."
"But her magnificence must be made available to everyone."
"Yes, so me make it most expensive thing in game."
"Well, at least everyone who truly wants it can get her on her sale."
"Me also push sale back until May 2017. And add special loading border for those who not cheap."
"Ok, can she at least get an icon for all ten forms?"
"Yes, but you only get five with her, pay extra for other half."
"Come on man, why you gotta make this so hard for players. Can't you just make her beauty accessible to all?"
"Corporate Mundo be honest. When me look at her, me only see giant bags of money. Mountains of money. Corporate Mundo no care about any else."
"Alright Elementalist Lux. Go with the nice man over here and be good for him."
"Sneaky little Corporateses, trying to sell our body for money."
"You just have to see the dark side of everything, don't you."
"Well, that is her name."
"Come on girls. This could be fun. Let's give it a try."
"Alright, but I want Tacos."
"You know I'm a vegan!"
"Fine, vegi tacos."
"With lots of hot sauce."
"But, all tacos place closed except for one in nearby city. Going there delay us by week."
"Do you have any idea how hard it is to get us all to agree on something to eat. I SUGGEST YOU GET US SOME DAMN TACOS!"
"Alright, Corporate Mundo will take you to Taco."
"Leaves with Elementalist Lux."
"Well Jimmy, it's back to being just us. They grow up so fast."
"Holds back a tear."
"Alright, let's get back to searching the millions of universes. Maybe we can take another look at that Sorcerer doctor. Yeah, I know he was pretty strange. But that red cloak might look great on Taric."
(Whoa, late one today. So many jokes I could make. Maybe next week.)