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#A Corporate Matter Episode: The Great Minion Mystery

"Corporate Mundo hosting emergency Corporate meeting, All Corporates come now, bring no one."

Later, in the meeting room:

"What is this all about?"

"Look man, I haven't gotten any sleep in the past week. Preseason hasn't even started yet and I'm swamped. THE PLANTS ARE A GOOD IDEA, OKAY!"

"You think you swamped. Who do you think has to deal with all the complaints and ideas that they send in after seeing your work."

"I swear, if you have brought another army to come and kill us. I'm quitting this Rito forsaken job."

"I hope we get to kill someone. I'VE BEEN GETTING BORED!"

"Corporate Mundo gather you all here today for grave situation. All our minions are disappearing faster than we can make them."

"Really, you interrupt my very important work for this?"

"Ha, as if you ever had important work. Everything is all automatic for you these days. No brains required."

"Oh, you wanna go pipsqueak? I will dunk you so hard."

"Bring it."

"Stop it! Corporate Mundo remember now why he keep all employee separate, they fight like toddlers who only have one gaming controller."

"So, why are these minions so important anyway?"

"Because, minions are the glue that holds League together. Without them, everything else will surely fail. First blood would decide the game. Gangplank would be so depressed I'm not sure what he would do with that gun. All attempts to take towers would turn into a suicide bombing. And we are not prepared for all the offensive jokes that would spawn."

"Plus, minions allow unpowered champions to break even with overpowered ones. Without them, I would have to Balance champions like Sona."

"Exactly, so we need to figure out where they are all going."

"And when we find out who is behind this, I will ban them harder than Tyler1."

Some time later:

"So, why are we just lying here in the middle of nowhere again?"

"Shhhh, we are waiting for Minion to come by."

"Doo doo do dwee doo do. Off to be a sacrifice so more important people can get stronger."

"There one is, ok guys. We need to quietly follow it and see where it goes."

"MUST GET STACKS!" "Dunks the minion."

"Well this was sooner than I expected. It is good to be of use." "Dies."

"Stares at Corporate Nasus with shock."

"WHAT DID YOU GO AND DO THAT FOR?"

"I ain't letting someone else steal my cs."

"Back to hiding everyone. Big doggy employee, do that again and Corporate Mundo put cleaver through your skull."

Some time later:

"Lalalala, Oooh, this seems like a perfect place for a picnic."

"Shhhhhhhhhh."

"Go away kid, you are going the scare the minions."

"AHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! MOM, THERE IS A BUNCH OF WEIRD MEN LYING TOGETHER IN THE BUSHES!"

"HEY, I'M A WOMEN!"

"You are?"

"YES!" "Smacks Corporate Nasus over the back of the head."

After a while, another minion eventually comes. They follow it for some time until it goes through a barricade.

"Why are we stopping?"

"There is a barricade up ahead. And we can't possibly get past it. It's armed to the teeth."

"Have no fear, Corporate Braum's shield can get us through."

"Don't be madder than Mundo. Those be Doom Bots. They will annihilate us all."

"Yeah, your shield will do nothing against them. Not even my ult lasts long enough for us to do anything to them."

"And Bewitching Morgana is too."

"Ok, maybe we should attack them."

"I agree, CHAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRGE!"

"Oh my Rito, he just ran in."

"Well, he is on his own now. Look, there is another minion over there. Let's follow that one."

They follow that minion until they run into another, even stronger, barricade. Then they find another minion and it eventually leads to another stronger barricade. The cycle continues until the sun goes down.

"I give up, there are barricades all over this forest. Let's just go home and accept our defeat.

"Hang on, I think I know where they are all going. Follow me, I can get us around the barricades."

A few minutes of running through the forest later:

"Has it occurred to anyone else that we are letting a blind guy lead the way?"

"I have a good sense of direction."

"Stop right there."

A bunch of lights turn on around them. They are surrounded on all sides.

"Well, you weren't wrong, Corporate Lee Sin. You got us here all right. RIGHT INTO DOOM BOT CITY!"

"And it looks like Bewitching Tristana and Bewitching Morgana are leading them."

"And that is where all the minions are going. Right into that bubbling cauldron."

"Alright Doom Bots, put them next to the other one."

"Hehehehe."

"Right away."

"Oh hey, Corporate Kled. I am glad to see you are still alive."

"Yeah, they just perma cc'ed me and brought me here. BUT THEY REFUSE TO FIGHT LIKE THE COWARDS THEY ARE!"

"You guys arrived at just the right time. We have finally gathered enough minions to summon our master."

"Be prepared, because here he comes."

The cauldron starts shaking and acting crazy. Out of it spawns the evilest creature anyone has ever laid eyes on.

"Hi, I'm Teemo."

Brace yourself, MF Support week incoming!

BOOP!

whelp, time to stop playing support or adc for a week whelp, time to stop playing top for a week whelp, time to stop playing mid for a week whelp, looks like it's time to play jg as the enemy team will have lvl 1 lee sin tryhards rip allied botlane rip allied botlane whelp, time to stop playing squishy champions for a week whelp, time to stop playing meele champs for a week eh eh

Get over here NO. (Gets Lumberjack Sion skin) I don't care if you are played in LCS. Now Kat won't be called a "no-skill champ" Is it me, or is Rito just giving us a chance to play the soon-to-be reworked assassins? NO. Where's the lube Valor's the name! Speed's (our) game! Great wall of damage

gotta hook dat ashe tentacle hentai joke here another tree champ another mid/support champ BEYBLADE BEYBLADE LET IT RIP enjoying this champ before the rework lee syndrome will spread like aids MF support incoming bird joke here i wonder how many people will miss ult this week

This is the most cancer rotation yet*[slayer-jinx-unamused]*

-looks at rotation- huh, the new rotation? What's in it? Oh, two of the new assasins being reworked? Guess I can test and compare... Oh! Blitz Crank! Always wanted to learn him! Maybe I'll try him out! Uuuugh! I have wanted to try out Ivern!!! PERFECT! I also wanted to try karma, and rumble, Quinn, and... Wait. What. No. Please. Please no have mercy. NO PLS NO NO NO NO! PLEASE NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! See ya guys after this week!

What a weird week. No pure tanks and tons of super high skill cap characters.

Sees and .

, sorry but that Mastery Score 7 is just going to have to wait.

, your services are required.

MF supp is coming to a ranked queue near you

I swear karma is in every 2 weeks. Nobody plays this champ unless your LCS or main support.

If they are going to make him support fix his ult and his passive

what masteries do you even get when you rumble?