Sail on Ironside Malphite, sail on

Riot·Oct 6, 2015·4 votes·35,790 views

“Our flames are all snuffed out this night
Sail on Ironside, sail on
We row hidden by the sea’s might
Sail on Ironside, sail on
Let blood red sails not pass this way
Sail on Ironside, sail on
Let us see the first light of day
Sail on Ironside, sail on
If it arrives over the swell
Sail on Ironside, sail on
If it arrives first ring the knell
Sail on Ironside, sail on…”

-Lines from a rogue slaughter fleet rowing dirge

Rule the seas (and any lane you want) with Ironside Malphite, now joining his Bilgewater cohorts in the League store for 975 RP!

142 Comments

HeraymOct 8, 201549 votes

Now you can play as a boat in League GJ rito, GJ

tonytran2014Oct 8, 20153 votes

CLG lost but we won! Check this out Ahri

RPerryOct 8, 201548 votes

DON'T face check that bush.. Clairvoyance

Kri0sOct 8, 20153 votes

[deleted]

PT WaluigiOct 8, 201538 votes

AH THIS IS LEGIT TOTALLY! IT'S NOT LIKE I'M LYING! NO, SINCE I'M SAYING THAT I'M NOT LYING YOU'LL BELIVE ME! BUT MAN I GOT 999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999RP! YES LEGIT! TOTALLY! WHO NEEDS WARDS? FACE CHECK DAH BUSH BRUH? WHO DO YOU THINK YOU'RE CLG? NO! YA BRONZE, THAT MEANS IT'S K TO FACE CHECK DAH BUSH BRUH! I'M GETTING SO MUCH MONEY RIGHT NOW, NOT BECAUSE OF THE LINK, BUT FROM THE GUY WHO PAID ME FOR DOING THIS! IT'S AMAZING! I'M RICH BITCH!

I don't trust you

JąnnaOct 8, 20153 votes

Wait what is it? I'm curious, but def not anywhere near curious enough to click on it

I Main SwainOct 9, 20156 votes

this is the problem with adhd. you know you shouldn't click, but you just have to freaking know so you want to so bad even though you know how stupid it would be. it's like pandora's box for a hyper curious person. you know what it does, you know what happens, but you have to SEE it!!!!!!

Masterofchaos999Oct 9, 20153 votes

Solution, buy a second computer with no personal information on it and use it to click the link.

NoisyWormv2Oct 13, 20153 votes

It's a site with automated bots to type in chat to make it seem legit. It steals your info and stuff. I can tell just by looking at the home screen.

Domo AttackOct 8, 20153 votes

But imagine if it have been Tahm Kench instead then you could have sailed him.

ArdondOct 9, 20158 votes

Rumble would like to have a word with you.

VinhBladeOct 9, 20154 votes

A boatful of trees! Sorry...

Blood ReaperOct 8, 201546 votes

Malphite (Crashes through door) Ring a ding ding the dingy is here!

Garen Dang you louse piece of scrap metal you broke the door. Now we got to pay for it.

Malphite Sorry I just-

Garen No you know better all ships have to wait outside.

Malphite But I can't.

Aatrox Why is that?

Malphite Because- because (starts crying) those ships are mean! They call me fat and small. They even made fun of my cannons!(cries even more)

Aatrox Really that's it, you destroyed half of this dock for that!

Quinn Aatrox shut your shark hole.

Aatrox (whispering) jerk

Quinn (patting mal's leg) It's ok you'll always be our loyal ship. Why don't you and me go hunting some sea dragons while these two think of an apology.

Garen What! No way!

Aatrox Yeah I'm not doing that.

Quinn (pulls out crossbow)

Garen Did I say no what I meant to say was yes.

Aatrox And I don't wanna die.

Quinn Good lets go mal. (leaves with Malphite)

Garen Should we get out of here be for the owner get he-

Gangplank WHAT HAPPENED TO MY DOOR!

Aatrox Garen Crap!

Garen Run shark boy ruuuuuuuuuuuuuuun!

Hello I am BirdOct 8, 20159 votes

Only thing is, Garen would shit on the rest of them because of the new juggernaut changes. He wouldn't be scared of no dingy crossbow

/RuinsTheJokeToPokeFunAtBalance

SignErrorOct 8, 20153 votes

Well that may not be the case when marksman changes come around. Not sure if Quinn will be affected, but you never know. If I were Garen, I would stay on her good side before I loose the upper hand.

Fluffybunny645Oct 9, 20156 votes

You should tighten that upper hand if it's loose.

SignErrorOct 9, 20153 votes

Good catch, I guess I lose when it comes to grammar. :)

honorspellOct 8, 20154 votes

dang this is up there with Dellron and Dragoon. GJ.

DextarGravelleOct 9, 201514 votes

Ironside Malphite and Corsair Quinn? I'd ship them.

facepalms myself for thinking of that pun

LuckyOct 8, 201532 votes

Thats fucking maokai

DraykowOct 8, 20153 votes

It has been seen! Maokai And now I can't unsee it. Amumu

ArclightVenomOct 8, 201528 votes

I saw this coming from a league away. Cuz a league is a nautical measure of distance... and league of legends... Anyone? I'll let myself out

Secretary BirdOct 8, 201524 votes

I always love a good boat fight as boatphite.

BeatMeatDailyOct 8, 20153 votes

I don't know if people got this or not but hot damn... I wasn't ready!

hippobot7Oct 8, 201516 votes

Malphite can blaze but Graves cant have a cigar?

Shroom JunkieOct 8, 20152 votes

Dufuq I made a post after this and I just scrolled back down and saw it. This gets +2 and I get -16. q.q people can't seem to make up their minds what's funny and what's not.

AdrenecideOct 8, 20155 votes

its not funny anymore

Da GronchOct 8, 201511 votes

Its great and all, but Malphite still needs to be re-sized. he is supposed to be this giant unstoppable force, yet he is puny compared to the likes of Sion and Nautilus. Rito Plz I want to play as a giant ship ramming into the enemy team, not as a toy boat a kid throws in the bathtub. Still a great skin though. (love the wheel)

tommyagunOct 8, 20159 votes

Thanks riot for giving us a Blastoise skin :) Remember you gotta catch them all. Malphite

Shroom JunkieOct 8, 20158 votes

Malphite can be a fucking boat but Graves can't have a cigar?

They can update a skin splash AGAIN but Graves can't have a cigar?

They can catch a boat on fire but Graves can't have a cigar?

Riot can make a whole poem for a new champion skin but Graves can't have a cigar?

Beacon 0F LightOct 8, 201521 votes

Can this thing die already please.

Zeke HighwindOct 8, 201528 votes

You know the best way for it to die? Give Graves back his cigar.

Fondling GemsOct 9, 20154 votes

you really think that a "but Graves CAN have a cigar meme" wont start?

Shroom JunkieOct 8, 20156 votes

Sheesh, one news post difference and suddenly these jokes go from 20+ upvotes to -10. Must be a bunch of teenage boys going through their mood swings.

Beacon 0F LightOct 8, 20152 votes

I found it funny the first one or two times but now it's so overused and people aren't even clever with them anymore. And I think some people are still serious about it, when they don't understand why it was even removed in the first place.

Twisted TeaOct 8, 20158 votes

I miss the Bilgewater Event...I'd love a way to be able to listen to that music or Gangplank's announcer voice again...

Vis ThighsOct 9, 20156 votes

Zac grows with health. They should make it so Malphite grows with armor, so he isn't so small any more.

I MOct 9, 20154 votes

i still think tire salesmen Malphite should be a thing

el TartoonOct 8, 20153 votes

Where is my skin?

Fondling GemsOct 9, 20157 votes

Uh uh uhh, sorry brand, not Riot's fault you burned off all your skin

DraykowOct 8, 20153 votes

He's a robot in disguise.

AdrenecideOct 8, 20153 votes

I personally prefer mecha malphite

How Do You MetaOct 9, 20153 votes

Great, now give us the bilgewater map skin for ARAM again :D

PiglewarriorOct 8, 20152 votes

Meanwhile... Kindred

Still IllmaticOct 9, 20152 votes

The only good skin he has is Glacial...he deserves better

supaguyboyOct 9, 20154 votes

I enjoy Mecha Malphite

HalnageOct 9, 20152 votes

Does this finally give me a reason to spam sea shanties into my Skype calls?

ßublOct 8, 20151 votes

So, does this skin have lore like Cutpurse TF, the Graves one (I can't remember name specifically), Captain Fortune and Captain Gangplank? Or is this just a Bildgewater skin for Malph? Cause personally I think the lore could just be this is Gangplank's ship the Deadpool. Just why it's walking and hurting things and Malphite I have no idea, but...

SignErrorOct 8, 20152 votes

It's probably just a skin, like how Atrox, Garen, and Quinn weren't actually featured in the Bligewater Event story.

supaguyboyOct 9, 20153 votes

Speaking of the Dead Pool, the first time I heard that, I thought of Gangplank walking around and firing cannons on a giant Wade Wilson in the middle of the sea.