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New free champion rotation: Braum, Draven, Kayn and more!

Riot·9/8/2018, 1:09:57 AM·0 votes·11,825 views

Greetings Summoners!

Here are this week's free champions:

 

Blitzcrank - the Great Steam Golem
Attack
Defense
Ability
Difficulty
Primary Role Tank
Secondary Role Fighter
Brand - the Burning Vengeance
Attack
Defense
Ability
Difficulty
Primary Role Mage
Braum - the Heart of the Freljord
Attack
Defense
Ability
Difficulty
Primary Role Support
Secondary Role Tank
Draven - the Glorious Executioner
Attack
Defense
Ability
Difficulty
Primary Role Marksman
Fiddlesticks - the Harbinger of Doom
Attack
Defense
Ability
Difficulty
Primary Role Mage
Secondary Role Support
Galio - the Colossus
Attack
Defense
Ability
Difficulty
Primary Role Tank
Secondary Role Mage
Irelia - the Blade Dancer
Attack
Defense
Ability
Difficulty
Primary Role Fighter
Secondary Role Assassin
Karthus - the Deathsinger
Attack
Defense
Ability
Difficulty
Primary Role Mage
Katarina - the Sinister Blade
Attack
Defense
Ability
Difficulty
Primary Role Assassin
Secondary Role Mage
Kayn - the Shadow Reaper
Attack
Defense
Ability
Difficulty
Primary Role Fighter
Secondary Role Assassin
Lissandra - the Ice Witch
Attack
Defense
Ability
Difficulty
Primary Role Mage
Malphite - Shard of the Monolith
Attack
Defense
Ability
Difficulty
Primary Role Tank
Secondary Role Fighter
Sivir - the Battle Mistress
Attack
Defense
Ability
Difficulty
Primary Role Marksman
Viktor - the Machine Herald
Attack
Defense
Ability
Difficulty
Primary Role Mage

8 Comments

King Dellron9/10/2018, 6:23:40 PM13 votes

#A Corporate Matter Episode: Equality

Kled "Hey, why don't you finally let me out of this cage, SO I CAN SHOVE A PIKE UP YOUR ASS, YOU OVERGROWN SISSY BOY!"

Kayn "You continue to prove my point. The only way for everyone to live free is to lock up men like you."

Ezreal "Hey, how come I'm not locked up with the rest of the men?"

Kayn "I keep telling you, it's alright. You don't have to pretend anymore, I see you for who you truly are. This is a man's world no longer, you can be the proud strong women you are, you don't have to hide it anymore. But I will not force you, you come out when you're ready."

Ezreal "But I'm not- Forget it, I'm going to go get a lemonade. I'll be back when someone finally knocks you out of here."

Kayn "She's so brave."

Meanwhile:

Gnar "AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!"

Soraka "Sona, Kog'Maw, seal the hole! Warwick, catch the one that got in! Boss, please stop screaming!"

Warwick "COME HERE!"

Akali "The days of men grabbing me are over." "Kicks Guard Dog Warwick in the face."

KogMaw "I am sure I ate some boarding earlier. I shall vomit it up and we can repair that hole."

Sona "..."

KogMaw "I know it may seem repulsive to you. But I assure you, the inner workings of my digestion system are quite different from yours. In addition, my bile can also act as an adhesive. Which is useful in this circumstance."

Akali "Ugh, you men are so disgusting. Get them, girls."

Akali Akali Akali Akali "Start running in through the hole."

KogMaw "THEY ARE FLOODING IN, THE WALL HAS BEEN BREACHED! IT HAS BEEN AN HONOUR SERVING WITH YOU LADS!"

Gnar "That's it, time to fight. LEAVE ME!!!!" "Goes Mega and charges the Social Justice Ninjas."

As the ninjas flood in Mega Corporate Gnar knocks them around the room like ragdolls.

Akali "How can we beat this?"

Akali "Don't be afraid. He may be bigger and stronger than us. But he's also a man, which means he's even dumber than he looks. Watch this." "Stabs Mega Corporate Gnar with a needle."

Gnar "WHAT DID YOU DO TO ME?!"

Akali "It's a special formula. Turns all the beastly rage of yours into a calming chemical. You'll be asleep for the next few hours."

Gnar "I'LL KILL Y-" "Passes out and turns back into regular Corporate Gnar."

Warwick "What now?"

Kayle "NOW I COME IN!" "Flys in and starts beating the Ninjas unconscious with her flaming pointer stick."

Akali "Stop!"

Akali "You are supposed to be on our side."

Akali "How could you do this?"

Kayle "YOU'RE ALL BANNED!" "Finishes beating them all."

Warwick "We're saved!"

Kayle "Yes you are, follow me. I have a perfect hiding spot that they haven't found yet."

KogMaw "No offence, but why don't we just leave. I personally prefer not residing in a building filled with ninjas that wish to incarcerate me."

Kayle "You've heard the yelling outside. The summoners have all gathered and they want blood. There is no safe way out and they will do far more than lock you up if they catch you. So, if you want to live free, follow me."

Akali "Oops, guess they shouldn't have followed you."

Kayle "Ugh, do I have to beat more of you today."

Akali "As strong a woman as you are, I doubt you could beat us all."

Dozens of ninjas fill the hallways.

Kayle "Why doesn't Z'Kayn do anything himself? Instead, he sits in the office doing nothing but talking all day while you women do all the work."

Akali "He knows that we are strong and capable. He lets us have all the glory. He is a true hero of equality. If it where up to me I would kill those who tolerate oppression like you. But Z'Kayn believes in forgiveness for the worthy. So I will only do this to you." "Throws a smoke bomb on the ground and covers mouth. All the other Social Justice Ninjas do the same."

Kayle "Knockout gas? That's cheating, which deserves a permanent b-" "Passes out."

** Sometime later in the main lobby:**

Kayn "We've done it, we got them all. And here they shall all stay, locked up in the main lobby for all to see. A reminder of what happens to oppressors. Now that we've locked up all the men, women can have the jobs and this company will have true diversity."

Soraka "This is wrong!"

Leona "Let them go!"

Kayle "I swear, when I get my weapons back you will all be sorry."

Kayn "I know you feel this way now, but it won't last. You don't know with to do with freedom and that scares you. But you will figure it out, and you will all be so much happier when you do."

Jinx "E-e-excuse me! I would like to say something."

Kayn "I've been looking everywhere for you. Come up here brave girl. No one will hurt you now."

Jinx "Hello, I'm Corporate Jinx. I don't really like crowds this big but I felt what I needed to say was too important."

Kayn "Its okay, this is a safe space. Speak your mind freely."

Jinx "I just wanted to say. I am sick and tired of people like you telling me what I can or cannot do. I am not weak or fragile, I don't need you to create safe spaces for me. I get anxiety around large amounts of people, but that is my problem, not theirs. I got a job I love that works with my issues. I don't want to run a company like this. If I did I would, and no one would be able to stop me. But I don't, and I sure don't need you telling me I do."

Kayn "Stares in disbelief."

Jinx "The idea that women can't do what men can do needs to stop. I worked hard to get to where I am. Did I have to work harder than a man would have, maybe? Who am I to say. But I did it without any special treatment and I am proud of that. I will not have you demean my abilities by giving me a free ride while the more 'capable' are put down to make it fair."

Jinx "You have everything so backward. By giving us advantages simply because we are women, or excluding men to make it fair. You reinforce the idea that women are lesser. That we are incapable of doing things as well as men. That is an idea that has taken a lot of time and hard work to kill and I will not see it come back. You want equality, then treat us like equals. If I can't do what a man can do it is my fault, not his. I need to make myself better, not him worse."

Jinx "I want to be judged on who am I and what I do, not how I was born. My victories and accomplishments mean nothing if they are just handed to me. If I win something or get a job, I want to know it's because I was the very best, not because I was born the right gender. All you're doing is fostering hatred, something that in the end will only do far more harm than good."

Kayn "I, i, i."

Jinx "Now get the hell out of my workplace." "Lifts rocket launcher and fires a Super Mega Death Rocket."

"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!!!!!!!!!!!"

JetPandawu9/10/2018, 9:01:20 PM2 votes

Where’s Zoe?

Traviswuzhear9/11/2018, 1:44:23 PM1 votes

Is Viktor good? I have his champion shard.