maokai y r u liek this
This isn't a hate speech on maokai, it's more of my love hate relationship with Maokai - the fucking tree. And also why you should pick him every game he's not banned...which isn't often.
Maokai is a unique roll that riot has removed called, tank NOW HOLD OP CUTIE! I mean an actual tank. He frontlines and absorbs all the damage.
You might be saying, but ggigotfedff@15endmylife, that's all tanks! And my response, is. stfu no.
All "tanks" in league are basically juggernauts, they absorb all the damage and deal back twice as much all while ccing your entire fucking squad, sure sejuani is maybe another one but hey...sej sucks. Maokai is the only tank that does no fucking damage. He just absorbs all the damage, then restores 95% of the health he lost in a trade by auto attacking. It's sickening. Watching maokai duel your top laner is the most boring thing I have ever seen in my entire life, we had two maokais one match, and we let them 1v1 at baron full build. We just watched a 5 minute fight between two fucking trees. The fight ended when neither died they just went oom.
Now to begin my rant on what his abilities do and why I don't actually know their order..forgive me
Passive - what damage? After casting an ability every like..4 seconds, maokais next auto attack restores % max life. On a tank that's fucking disgusting. Let's say it's only 10% When maokai has 4k hp he restores 400hp just for hitting you, and let's say he takes grasp, now he restores 600. Meaning, goodluck fucking trading against him.
Q - Fuckoff, At any point in a duel maokai decides he is bored of you, he will slap you with his Q forcing you to gtfo. He punches the ground in a target direction dealing meh damage and ccing you, is knocks you back, and because all displacement effects in league are basically two ccs combined, you get push away and then you're stuck on the ground for a moment. It's not too bad but it also slows you, making it very annoying to fight him.
W - Child murderer, maokai has many seeds he keeps with him, unbeknownst to most, these seeds are his children. Maybe not but it makes more sense...or less sense...just shut the hell up. Maokai throws one of these seeds at a location and being new to the world it runs to the first thing it sees and hugs it...then explodes...wait..what the hell? WHAT THE FUCK?! THAT'S FUCKED UP! Maokai takes his newborn baby and fucking throws it into the world, to then have it explode for abysmal damage. Yo..I..I need to call the cops on you riot...that's fucked up. Okay jokes aside this ability is pretty nice. It also has another not so secret feature. If he throws it in a bush it gets really fat and does many more damages. The ability doesnt do too much damage but it does slow you allowing maokai to get all up inside you. You really just use these as psudo wards.
E - Slipspace rupture, maokai being the friendly guy he is just wants to say hello, and once he clicks his E...he's coming for you...there is next to no mortal power that will prevent maokai from getting to you, once he activated his E, and hovers his curser over you. It's all over. Maokai becomes untargetable and slips through the fabric of space and time to fucking teleport to you, then he is going to root you for X amount of time, I don't actually know because I always die when he clicks this button. After said period of slip space rupture maokai is going to unleash his 200 year cc chain and lock you down until his team or him murder you. Even if you escape the cc, he'll just do it again after a few seconds.
R - roots..idk, This one is a really good teamfighting ability I absolutely love! I love trying to escape it and knowing it has some alright counterplay. It makes it like a small game of dodgeball, only if you get hit you're legs will cease to work. Maokai calls for 6-7 enormous roots to travel in a target direction for a really long time. Aside from that the roots all line up and are the...width..of the entire...oh god. These roots are literally the SIZE OF A FUCKING LANE! Remember when I say love to try and escape this, Note I did say TRY! escaping these things is nearly fucking impossible if he does it in a choke point, and once they hit you they deal X amount of damage, they don't really hurt. Maokai will them come flying in with his slipspace rupture and proceed to full combo lock you forever. Now for the counterplay, the roots collide with the first enemy hit, then that root goes away, so if your tank eats the first one you can all funnel behind him to avoid getting hit by the others. Plus the roots are different sized making the first big one easy to eat and walk between, also if he casts it in an open area you can just walk around it. The roots themselves are pretty slow...but always creeping.
So you have an enormous tree who just wants to die walking around the rift cc locking people like an improved liona with almost limitless sustain. But maokai isn't too bad, sure he provides tons of cc and utility, but he himself cannot carry the game. A maokai realies on something riot thinks exists in solo que...teamwork. Which is a fools dream. If your team can't kill the target you have pinned down, you're gonna get shredded by the vayne, or shyvana, or trist, or any adc who bought a bork..it really fucks his day up.
He's pretty easy to play, and can be played just about anywhere but mid really. Oh and you can just go full ap maokai, now you do a ton of damage and have survivability.
10/10 would pick maokai again...oh wait, they banned him. Fuck
