Problems with teammates, playing strategy thingy related in game and complaints about life (jk)

Hi, I have started to play ranked about less than a month ago started from non-ranked with bans/picks. I don't like the experience of it too much, but now I don't like it AT ALL.

I have followed the guides of people who climbed ranks from "elo hell- so-called" to the "higher and less-mistake-making-required ranks". They included to:

1. try ban OP heroes ( Right now I think of: (whenever I see vaynes, sadly they all get fed out of my life, my adc's life; I tried to play safe with pinks but she still dominates no matter what and it really makes my head heat up of annoyance and anger; Even worse, whenever my team has vayne, they're all bad.)

2. try to be confident and positive: I don't know how should I deal with this problem meanwhile I get blamed for mostly everything. In laning phase, I get scared of being caught out and get harassed to death (that doesn't happen in normal game). I got so scared and worried that I miss 70% of my hooks (). I tried not to blame any of my teams, I tried to be polite to them, I did not talk disrespectfully to other teams. 93% not worked out.

3. try to communicate: most of them told me: go fuck yourself; this kid talks too much, suck my *.

4. peel for my carries and do what supports are supposed to do: I sometimes get too scared meanwhile trying to save my adc => not looking at map => jungler comes => dead. (40% games happen this way). The other 60% games i can try to keep my carry alive for awhile, we tried to push. I tried to roam so I could help mid while jungler might be in top.

Warding? I do. Yet, I EXTREMELY RARELY have a teammate who upgrades his/her trinkets to ward with me. They just throw these sentences into my face: "It's the support's job to ward, not mine" ; "I'll play safe, no need"; "Make me.". I admit that I usually leave some spots dark about 2 minutes or more because I'm scared of getting caught out or I might not be there for my team. I desperately want to get rid of their wards but I don't know where should i scan...

When I'm not in supports role, 3/5 told me the former sentences but without the word support. I can't stand having no vision so I bought a sightstone to keep myself and utmost 1 other teammate safe. They blamed me for what I bought.

5. Push: I really don't understand why: when my adc pushes alone he/she usually ends up dying but others don't. They just push like they're Gods and they escape safely. Another is that when other teams push 3-man or 4-man they usually get the tower but not my team, split pushes happen all the time. This has been extremely unfair and I tried to think how to counter split-push or 3-man; 2-man push or all in but it's still worthless.

6. Objectives (Dragon): This has been making my head heating up a lot. Usually other junglers just can force dragon so early that my team can't (maybe it's the hero itself that might do). 60% when my team tries to get dragon, we got stole or got forced out. When I asked some of my teammates to force 3 of them out, we got killed or got forced out. I try to watch the timer and ping my teammates to go there from 10s to later than 20s. They took it or we get killed, if we're lucky then out alive. It really makes me mad that I have never gotten a game that my team actually got over 2 stacks of buff or over 0 buff.

7. a. Admit that I'm bad: I even curse myself for making a wrong mistake. This is too easy for me to do. I keep saying to myself that: "I'll never be good enough to climb ranks" so I can force myself to try harder and make less mistakes. Sadly, I still lose.

7b. Learn my lesson: To be honest, I don't know what should I learn else more than sacrificing my life for my carries, peeling them, trying to look at map the most possible, warding.

QUESTION FOR JUDGE: I hope you'll have your comments on this ranked game of mine: Their team: . Mine: . I'm the Ahri

I'm not a good mid-laner, a good farmer. I tried what I could: farm safe, harass, dodge shurikens. I tried to bank but I don't know how am I supposed to time it. I ping my lane missing, I ward my lanes but I forgot to do the other sides or further away. I had my trinket upgraded late, it was my bad. Though barely wards the river or drake started from 16min mark. Most of them ward too little. Besides, was trying to split push and he did not contribute enough to team fights so we felt missing without him, started blaming and things got worse. The pushing problem happened as usual. We lost.

And I have to admit, their is very good at peeling, I want to learn something from him/her but I felt too bad about myself, I couldn't accept losing even though I'm bad at most of the roles.

p/s: I hope I'd not bore you because it was too long and full of bullshit.