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How to not take things personally?

l Main Renekton·2/12/2015, 1:38:16 AM·2 votes·1,159 views

Stuff like this really gets to me.

She harassed me all game in lane whenever I killed her, saying how bad I was.

My jungler duo and I had 27 of our team's 33 kills that game, yet she constantly harassed me, and it really did offend me a lot.

I don't know how to just shake things like these off.

I feel like a crappy player after this game just because I probably should have muted all chat. But harassment in game really gets to me and really bothers me - so things like this just kind of kill my confidence in playing anything besides Braum.

I take breaks from games, and go out and run, exercise and other stress relief methods, but whenever I sit down in front of the keyboard, I get afraid of being called an awful player and being called a burden to the team like I was this game. The enemy Katarina just made me start to hesitate to hit the "Play" button.

The report button doesn't relieve any stress, and I don't want it to. They play the game to have fun and getting them banned would just ruin their experience, so I don't want to try and mute them and disturb their game experience just for bothering mine.

These things get to me so much, though.

Any help?

8 Comments

Deustheproducer2/12/2015, 2:58:29 AM2 votes

First of all, breathe... Seriously. When that happens just take a breath and keep playing. When they start that you let it get to you, then it effects your gameplay and makes you do even worse. So breathe, force yourself to smile and laugh. Even if you're upset. The act of smiling and breathing will cause you to loosen up and calm down. Breathing is the natural way to stop the fight or flight response that happens when a person is faced with stress.

Secondly, Now that you have calmed down do yourself a favour. Do not try to respond. Do not continue whatever it is they are initating. I know, trust me, I KNOW it's tempting but there is nothing you can do or that can be gained by trying to reason with them, it has already escalatede past that. You are no longer a person but an obstacle. You are simply a source for them to funnel /their/ stress into. Do yourself a favour and mute them. Hell mute your entire team if you have to but do it, don't overthink it. Don't try to convince yourself not to. Don't let you're own insecurities make you believe that anything they have to say holds any weight. Mute them, Plain and simple. Yes its hard. Yes your insecurites and curiosity will make it hard to sit idly by when you know they are continueing to talk bad about you and you cannot see it but you mustn't let yourself fall into that metal trap. Again nothing they say matters

Third. You have finished the game... HOORAY! you beat the angry person. Now comes the hard part, and it has to do with a bit of phycological weight that basically boils down to memories. In life when remembering something the bad WILL ALWAYS overshine the good things that happened. Ok remember that about the breathing? Yes? good... let's do more of that. This is where some mental games are about to happen. Post game your mind is gonna keep replaying that game, and focusing on it over and over. Stop it. Use your willpower to react to that train of thought and push it aside. It is possible for us to control what we think about. It just takes some practise and you can do it!

Fourth. YAAAAY, we made it through all that. Now lets take a look at ourself

Ok, are we still thinking about the bad game? Yes.... Go back to step one. and do not immediately play another game or you will go on tilt and do just as terrible

No...? Good! get back in there and have a fun game.

Cheers!

Nucleophilic atk2/12/2015, 2:09:01 AM2 votes

It's called mute. I'm not sure what your point here is at all...

AwesomeChad2/12/2015, 2:06:20 AM2 votes

Why don't you just mute the other players that are harassing you? If you give in and start arguing with them, you're no better than they are.

Nova Skye2/12/2015, 3:23:59 PM1 votes

I just had an entire day of this. I feel you so hard right now. But let me say, finding a friend that will duo with you after a game like that is really refreshing. My partner will take my venting in chat, then pull me into an ARAM. Then we'll decide from there if I need a real break or not.

On the plus side, muting allies in game does not hurt them in any way besides communication. They don't get reported. When I go into ranked, and its starting to feel trolly, I will mute my team and turn off all chat. This forces them to use pings to get my attention (meaning I've warned them that I'm turning the chat off).

DarkDeSalvo2/12/2015, 2:12:17 AM1 votes

I've had this problem so many times. Sad thing is that it was mostly from my own teammates. I wish people would realize its a game and negatively abusing someone makes them play worse.

El Captain Teemo2/12/2015, 1:50:55 AM1 votes

Why did you block your comments?

Leti the Yeti2/12/2015, 5:14:01 AM1 votes

i love all chat Though i make it a rule to never speak with them until after i win ;3