Losing sucks too much.

Maybe you could play a mode you don't care enough about to get upset for a loss. Play for the challenge, and not the victory screen. If you are having a rough time, just take a break from the game altogether. You don't even have to come back all season if you don't feel like it.

No mode works for me... I get upset at losing at EVERYTHING.

Losing lane, losing a game, etc.

And the worst part about it... when I win, I barely feel anything. I just feel "Thank God we didn't lose"

Yup, play with friends 85% of the time. Still doesn't help.

If I'm not winning I'm failing, if I am winning, I'm just not losing.

I've legit not been happy for a long time, I don't know what to do.

Naw... I can't quit... I can't.

If losing a game is that emotionally distressing for you, perhaps you should stop playing competitive games in general. There are plenty of single-player adventure games that have no winner or loser, just the player and his/her progress through the game. There's no shame in preferring non-competitive games.

Quit the game and seek professional help.

Seriously, if losing in a video game affects you so much, there is some underlying issues that need to be taken care of. Perhaps some kind of anxiety disorder or something.

Bun,

My first suggestion would be to find something that you can identify with outside off the game. It sounds like you are valuing yourself based on if you win or lose a game in LoL. But League is a game. Unless you are in the top 0.01% in the nation your skill hear means nothing. I mean, you could enter just about any Starbucks in the nation wearing a hat that says "I am rank Bronze 5 in League of Legends" and probably not run into anyone who understands what that means or cares.

All games and sports were originally set up as a form of friendly social competition. It gave people a way to burn off energy and to compete in a controlled environment where the risk of injury was significantly less than in a battle or war. Yes, there would be personal pride on the line, but there was no real harm done if you lost.

Now, I'll admit I can't help much more than to offer my observations. I don't have the same issues you have as for the most part I don't really worry about my rank in LoL or if I'm winning every game. Yes, I enjoy winning, but as far as I'm concerned a loss is rather meaningless. The problem is I can't teach that attitude. It's something I had to cultivate by reminding myself that I had to have fun first.

But I also absorbed that while growing up. My family would have regular game nights where we'd get around a table and play anything from Monotony (my personal nickname for Monopoly) to various card games (usually rummy or a family version of multiple player solitaire) and taking those games too seriously was a way to get banished from the table, something none of my siblings welcomed. So we just didn't take the game too seriously. It was about having fun, not winning every game.

There isn't really more I can say.

Unless you are actually on the level of an LCS player, then the only purpose of this game is to have fun. That's it. Whether you are bronze 5 or in Master, you are just there to have some fun. If you are not having fun, then this games only purpose has failed, and there is no reason to play it. Highly competitive games like this are not for everyone. There are some people who take competition very seriously, and get emotionally distressed if they do not compete at the optimal level at all times. If you find this game emotionally distressful, then perhaps it would be better to find another game. It sounds like you enjoy the social aspect, but do not enjoy the extreme competition. Try playing a less intense game, and see if that helps. Perhaps an MMO such as World of Warcraft or Star Wars: The Old Republic would suit your fancy, as they provide a very good social gaming experience without the direct competition.