League Tilt
I need help, ever since one ranked game, I've been tilting...dramatically. After I got placed into bronze 5 after winning 6/10 games for provisional (understandable because of my season 4 mmr) this is after I stopped playing league for half a year I went on a winning spree, by myself, so eventually I got to 98 lp and stopped. Then I went to play a few normals and won those too. So when I came back to ranked, I was confident, so far bronze 5 wasn't bad for me, i kept an upbeat attitude, and kept my team's morale up. I wanted to get out of bronze really badly, but before I didn't care if I won, it was a pleasant surprise that I won many games in a row, I thought it was luck. So as I go in (as a support) somebody on my team mentioned that the enemy jinx is streaming and immediately I freeze, I start shaking and my heart beat rises. My thinking process: Is that jinx a diamond smurf? (stupid me) I have to prove myself, so eventually my adc kept on making the stupidest mistakes, and screamed lag, i got really irritated at him but didn't want to say anything, so i had to repeatedly calm down myself because I was convinced that it was my upbeat attitude that helped me win my other games. So our jungler afks at 7 minutes, and we loose. I get really pissed off at league and vow "to not play again" but the next day...I play again, and my adc feeds, and it goes down hill from there. Even when I do well, I can't carry because my team always gets caught out and chases too far and won't listen to me (also I usually support), also I started playing really cautiously. So eventually I'm at this mess, and I know I'm on tilt, but I won't stop playing league, because I know I'm a shit player but I want to get out of bronze and into silver so my classmates will stop saying I'm a shit player, that I don't have to hear "noob" everyday. I know I'm going to loose but I can't stop, also it doesn't help when people call you a shit player when your self confidence is low.
I was on tilt too in season 3 when I first started, I got placed into bronze 1 but I really wanted the Silver ward end-of-season reward, so I kept on playing until I eventually hit bronze 5.
So what do you suggest? Go on a six month hiatus? Save enough for a name change and unfriend all my toxic real life "friends"? I know the mistakes I make but for some reason don't fix them, how to I get out of this emotional hellhole, or how to I stop trying to have the urge to prove myself, that I'm not a shit player even though I'm in bronze 5, or how to I boost my confidence.
What do you guys do to get out of tilt?
If you see my match history, it's terrible, my cs, my kda ratio, everything, It's all terrible, I just want to cry now ;_; even when I knew I was on a loosing streak I kept on playing...and kept on loosing