I've Got Anger Issues
After all these battles I've had, I've completely lose my temper about many things. Giving away first blood, too much deaths at my disposal, havinh low cs. But, what really crossed the line for me is the ks (killsteals). Having one of my team mates stole a kill from me is no problem, but when that player stole 3 kills in a row from me, that's when I'm completely furious. Then, I was going to slay a dragon, BUT SOMEONE STOLE THAT KILL, TOO! THAT'S WHAT BROKE ME!
Over the next couple of days, it's starting to get WAY worse! One time, the game keeps crashing over and over, so I uninstalled it and reinstalled it again, but when it launches, that battle already ended. My team won, AND I WASN'T EVEN THERE! Then, when I got into another battle, I was doing very poorly. I blew my top like a volcano! I quit my game twice. And once again, The leaverbuster system punished me to put into a lower queue.
Today, I got into a 1 on 1 battle, AND I STILL LOST! And then, I raged in chat before game. And worst of all, when I was the one to die first and giving the enemy first blood, I totally lost my mind. My psyche is officially broken. I went into a HUGE temper tantrum. Yeah, I said 'temper tantrum'. Got a problem with that? A man in his 20s act like a spoiled child? Anyway, I got so mad, I decided to throw this game on purpose and throw away many kills to the enemies. I called the enemies out to come and get me. My teammates don't like it, but I was too angry to care at the slightest. But, in the end, MY TEAM STILL WON AND I GOT REPORTED! Life is absolutely unfair!
I'm still ticked off now! I'm so angry, that I wanted to reach out and punch somebody square in the face. But, then I got so depressed, I actually cried. I felt like I wanted to go out and climb to the top of the tallest building, and wanted to kill myself.
The point is, I've got anger issues. Really, I do. I actually thought that I should see a hypnotherapist. Some of my online friends attempted to remove me from the list if I don't calm down. And my anger issues kicked me out of two Facebook groups I've joined. If I keep letting my anger get to me, my life will be over. I will have no friends, no supporters, absolutely no one will ever help me even if I crawled up and begged. I will have no one at all. Forever alone, and no one will offer me to help. I'll be like a lone wolf without any help from a pack. I'll be forever shunned. No one will help me. And when I give help, no one will accept it. And I absolutely don't my life to be this way. So, help me. Give me appreciation. Give me encouragement. I'm so desperate, give me ANYTHING. Anything that will get me out of this deep, deep, deep hole I'm in.