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Tips for keeping calm?

Cale017·12/1/2014, 6:19:07 PM·4 votes·2,818 views

Howdy summoners!

I'm not going to try and paint it any different, I get ticked off easy, and go on tilt easier than a pinball machine when things go awry. I'm incredibly competitive. So much so that there's a charity event going on to sell donation bags to customers at my work, and I'm leading the charts just to show that I can. Feeding hungry families is secondary. Still in there... just not as up there as my name at the top of the list.

So when I'm doing badly, I feel horrible because it's like I'm dragging my team down. My friends and ex got on me constantly for berating myself, but I just didn't like the knowledge that I was the reason the team was having a hard time because I got countered, out played, or counterjungled, which is my worst nightmare as a jungle main.

When it isn't my fault, it can get even worse. Even in normal matches, I still try and use them as practice. So if I have trolling teammates, it suddenly feels like a waste of my time because there's no way to get in applicable practice since the entire situation has now changed. Tactics are being used that aren't going to apply to ranked matches, or enemies are getting fed and so I don't have nearly as much of a chance against them.

Usually I can keep myself from resorting to using less than choice words, but I still get angry. Lately I've been trying to give what constructive criticism I can, but damn it all if people in this game aren't actively trying to get people angry at them by ignoring what could otherwise be sound advice. It's like every other player wants you to be angry, so even when you're speaking pretty calmly they assume that you're super assmad and nothing you say is legitimate any longer. Last I checked, a danger ping and "don't walk into Warwick's jungle alone without vision" is pretty sound advice, especially when it directly precedes ALLY HAS BEEN SLAIN BY 420NOSCOPEULTS4JESUS.

I'm trying to stay calm, but loss after loss, whether I'm the one who's feeding or a friend/stranger is, watching enemies brag (OHHHH THAT'S THE WORST FOR ME), or worse, getting blamed for not contributing as a jungler when I'm doing my damnedest and can't make up for the stupid decisions of teammates. Sorry, but I can't save botlane from a gank and then magically whisk myself to top to save you after you pushed too far.

How does everyone do it? Am I wrong for not seeing any fun in getting absolutely stomped like most of my friends seem to do? The way I see it, between work and trying to get back into school I only have so many hours in a day, and there's an entire stack of games sitting on my shelf I need to finish. But I get on League to try and have fun with my friends, or improve my skills on my own, but when I lose all my matches to mistakes that could have been avoided, it feels like I've wasted 45 minutes of my life.

It's infuriating.

What can an overly competitive jungle main do when faced with the sort of an environment that League gives unranked players? I purposefully avoiding finishing my provisionals during season 4 after I hit 30 strictly because of the stress that I feel from losing matches, or bad teammates, or bragging enemies.

I want to be good. I want to be the jungler my team needs AND the jungler it deserves.

BUTOHMYGODIFISEEANOTHERFEDWARWICKI'MGOINGPOSTALRITOPLZNERF

ahem

Sorry.

Any tips on staying calm when your teammates are throwing, or when you're feeling the weight you're putting on your team?

27 Comments

Sir ArmaMalum12/1/2014, 7:04:29 PM7 votes

Well, you admit you're a competitive person and your're asking around for some help, so that by itself gives you a huge plus in my book. As someone who has gone through numerous anger management courses and also moderately competitive I sympathize with you.

There are a few things I don't see mentioned often that have helped me more than I initially thought they would.

#Start the game off right

First impressions do a lot to help crack the toxicity, more than most would think. Be friendly in champ select chat, maybe crack a joke or be energetic. People are usually more open to listening to others if they see that the person on the other end of the chat is friendly. It paints a different picture than the default "angsty angry teen" stereotype that gamers have nowadays. Not only that, but I always find it easier to enjoy the game myself.

#Slow down your typing

I'm a horrendously slow typer. I still hunt & peck, it's bad. But I'm a bit thankful for that fact, because my inability to rattle of in chat without a second thought puts me in a unique perspective of really watching what I'm typing as I'm typing it. As such, I've been able to whittle down a lot of chat I would've later regretted saying, largely due to the fact that it wouldn't have helped anything. Granted that's more of a way to cover raging, but enough practice and it can seriously change how you approach text chat, which can really help you out in this game.

#Stay Hydrated

No, seriously, I'm not kidding. Going through 2-3 games one can steadily get a bit thirsty, but it tends to go unnoticed under the focus needed for the game itself. Simple fix, keep a bottle of water near you while you game (if you don't already), you'll find your temper a bit better and your focus a bit better as well.

#Admit your own mistakes

No one's perfect, trust me I can tesify to that with my own gaming history, lol. So any rational person (there are more than you'd think in League believe it or not) will realize expecting perfection from their team is, to be frank, stupid as hell. A large problem I've seen though is accountability. People will always be quicker to blame others than themselves. I've also found that's one of the easiest ways to combat this is to lead by example. Anytime I admit my mistake it not only makes me feel a bit better, because I'm directly addressing what I did wrong and working to correct it, but it also stops a lot of flaming in its tracks. I know that sounds a bit crazy but give it a shot if you want. Doesn't even have to be a mistake, it could be a "I could've done X better back there, i'l work on it next time around", or some such.

#Stop talking

Ask anyone that knows me, I'm a loud person. Especially when I'm playing a competitive game like League. As such there are a lot of times where I have to simply mute myself so I don't wake the entire apartment building. Funnily enough I found I also rage a lot less when I don't have a party to hear my raging. I'm sure there's a psychological sub-conscious reason for that, but I'm more focused on the results. XD Try muting yourself when you're getting flustered if you're talking with friends,

try these ideas out and I hope they help you a bit, gl hf!

Tallar12/1/2014, 6:35:32 PM4 votes

Okay, you're a competitive person, but it's just a game. There will be bad games, and good games. Don't look at all the negatives. Think about what you did good, and maybe even what you could've done better. I'm not the best either. I do have a lot of bad games. Tips for staying calm when your teamates are throwing... well anything could happen during a game. Even if you're team is behind, you can still win. Just try to stay positive. If you're feeling the weight of the team, well just act upon that feeling. Try to lead your team. Don't be too critical though, just kinda give them leads. As for feeding the enemy yourself, well as a jungle main, even if you're behind you can still contribute. Try to get lanes rolling. You don't have to be fed yourself to actually be helpful.

Mister Punches12/2/2014, 12:09:20 AM3 votes

This probably doesn't apply to you, but it's still sound advice, based off of what I read in the OP, OP. For me, it has helped me since I occassionally deal with teammates who are definitely toxic.

1: Before you begin a game in League, leave your pride at the door. When I first started out, I was doing terrible, but I did well in Dota. I used that as my excuse to bash on people. Eventually, once i got to 30, I learned that your actions speak louder than your words. For me, I did myself and everyone on my team a favor and kept my pride at the door. I shut up, worked with my team, and sometimes it worked, sometimes it didn't.

2: If you really can't stand your teammates verbally abusing you for making a small mistake, mute them, and report them postgame. This is one of the most important things I learned in League. Not everyone in the game is nice. A good portion of the community is inherently toxic, and those are what people call the "trolls" of the game. However, there are nice people that are the majority of the community, or people who just don't type in general, and follow the first step above. Hope and pray to RNJesus that you get paired with the latter rather than the former. The former tend to make the game negative as a whole for both the enemy team and your team, with your team especially. If you don't want these players ruining your game, do everyone a favor and report them after the game. After a while, these people will get banned for negative atttude, verbal abuse, offensive language, or whatever. However, these types of players consist of a minority of the community. Be sure to keep them a minority and don't become part of that.

3: If the enemies brag about how great they are, then let them have their time in the spotlight. Chances are, if they keep that up, unless they're a gold+ smurf, they got by by luck. These enemies that brag are really toxic, and one win will boost their ego. I have friends who, while they aren't toxic in real life or in custom games, are toxic in real games. They have been banned before, and they usually don't stay toxic for long. These friends, while I love them, have just as large ego about their gameplay than a narcissist is about their own vanity. Don't fight back the enemy team. Just say "GG" and leave the postgame lobby. Ingame, have your /all chat off. I don't even have mine on a majority of the time.

4: Ignore the people who say to have a thicker skin. Being "thick-skinned" is nothing. If someone is verbally abusing you ingame by saying that you suck, and sending death threats to you (e.g. "go die of cancer scrub"), report them. By ignoring what a toxic person says means that you're perpetuating them to be even more toxic since they'll think they can get away with it and never get banned. It doesn't matter if they're the enemy or your own teammate: If a person is being toxic ingame, ensure that they don't stay toxic for everyone else; report them.

5: Admit your mistakes. I know it was mentioned by Sir ArmaMalum, but they bring up a great point. If you screw up, just admit it. Don't blame someone else for your mistakes. If you decide to take a jungle creep while your mid lane is dying and needs help, help them out. Of course they'll be mad that you didn't help them and focused on a creep that was only worth like 20 gold. If the enemy was so low on health, right under the turret, and you decided that you needed the extra 20 gold instead of securing a kill, then it isn't the lane's mistake, it's yours. If they say something like, "wtf 'x'?", don't shift the blame on them. Learn from that mistake and say something like, "my bad" or "sorry".

These helped me get from low bronze to low silver in a short amount of time. I can say that my gameplay and attitude towards League has changed for the better because of it.

The Chin12/2/2014, 12:29:29 AM2 votes

Just focus on playing well, as playing well is something you can control whereas winning/losing and whether your teammates are trolling is out of your control.

Leti the Yeti12/1/2014, 9:22:23 PM2 votes

Have you tried losing alot in ranked games? Naw im srs After a good dose of ranked failures normal games become a fking joke, nothing could possibly happen that could piss you off, atleast thats what happened to me ur gonna get tired of bitching and whining and raging and you look like a gawdam dumbass while doing it and once you enlighten yourself by realizing this not even that 12 lose streak in ranked will bother you too much

Dirty Dutch12/1/2014, 11:37:21 PM2 votes

I actually pride myself for being calm and collect and i cannot tell you how many times this has benefited me in League. Reason being that there are a lot of kids that rage in this game. You have to be the bigger man, you have to be like jesus carrying kids to Nirvana. One rule that i genuinely live by is that i never quit or surrender at 20. You will hardly find me quitting early. A lot of people will say in chat "gg" "surrender at 20" which can severely lower the morale of your team. I always however counter that with something like "don't give up" "wait for late game". I cant tell you how many times my NO surrender vote has actually ended up in the team winning the game. League has also creatively stopped a lot of snowballing in the game. You can actually have a decent comeback as a team that has been generally losing the whole time. I really love this idea and is one of the reasons why i still play this game.

Tips i would give i suppose are to always just be positive in chat. Do not flame or stir up hate in the team. Man i swear, i had a game recently where my kindness affected the whole team. I was losing lane as an adc by team kept saying "we got this", "Don't worry about it" . Everyone was apologizing when they made a mistake and using smiley faces. I felt like i was rolling on a molly lol. Guess what, we ended up winning and me carrying. The enemy team of course had this to say "REPORT OUR ADC" "THIS TEAM SUCKS" When in reality, their adc was not even bad.

Cozarkian12/2/2014, 12:41:58 AM2 votes

You can't control your emotions. You can control your actions.

When you get pissed off, don't type it, scream it. Literally, instead of wasting time and effort typing insults, just say them out loud in the room to nobody but yourself. It will have the same effect of letting you release your anger without the downside of pissing your teammates off.

Minrog12/2/2014, 12:56:29 PM2 votes

Two things.

  1. Focus on the micro wins instead of the macro ones. Winning the game comes from winning small components of the game in succession, so try to start winning those. Once you start winning pieces it's just a matter of chaining them together.

  2. Stop being a martyr. By that I mean, you're always trying to "save the lane". Some lanes really are worthless. Focus on the ones that benefit you. Find the one guy on your team who can press R when you roll up and nets you a free kill; then camp the crap out of it. Tell your laners if they want a gank they need wards because you aren't going to feed the enemy jungler free gold. If they ward like you asked, give that lane a run - cautiously.

If they are your real life friends than it's even easier. Make it clear you aren't going to gank a lane with no vision. Stop trying to gank lanes that are getting trashed, you're just free gold for the enemy that way. If your teammate won't cower at his tower when he's already died 3 times at least his gold value is dropping each time. Honestly, 3 times is too many but I understand the predicament.

warpenguin55512/2/2014, 6:34:20 PM2 votes

1st: Warwick is getting an nerf in the next patch

2nd: Just say it out loud and not in the in game chat

rinsujo12/1/2014, 8:36:39 PM1 votes

Honestly? This may sound a little offensive. Get over it. You're not all that and you need a thicker skin. I say that because if you're on my team playing like that, it's going to start annoying me when you shut down, and that's not going to help any of us. If you're on my opponents team, I might ignore you, or if I feel like my team is behind, i'm going to start using it to try and shut you down harder so I have a better chance. That's where the mind game part of league jumps in, and that's honestly the only place I know I can never lose. I have a Gold friend who I refuse to support anymore because he's like you, if he slips up at all in game, he goes on tilt and rages. The trick is calming yourself down mentally. "it's just a game" helps, but honestly, it goes beyond that. look at yourself irl. You have a type "a", things have to be done this specific way mentality? work on it irl and it'll translate into game. You're a cool, calm, confident person irl? just let that slip over to league. Oops, lost one game. Shit happens. do I have time for a snack before the next one? It also helps that I'm a pretty chill person irl ... most of the time. (Disclaimer- I suck at gaming)

MyNemFruffa12/24/2014, 8:47:48 AM1 votes

When your team mates go bad give them tips to play more safer but don't be demanding or they will turn around and get bitchy. if you are getting abit of task turn of all music. mute yourself and everyone. disable all CHAT!!!!! and play safe just cs harass abit and dont die oh do note that if you are in a i am punching computer state dead set just get off for a second walk around the house get some water, you will still be angry but you will be able to get extremely cautious. it will give you time to think about your faults etc i F'Urgot it all

Tnki12/2/2014, 2:28:33 AM1 votes

Masturbate.