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Need Help Dealing With Self Confidence in League

Ring of Regenera·3/20/2015, 2:08:49 AM·3 votes·5,930 views

I have made posts before, but I feel I need to get to the root of the issue with myself. I have been playing league a small amount and I definitely love the game. I try my best to be friendly to everyone and help however I can (buying them wards and being in general the role filler). But I have been having... issues from real life carry over in league... I have an extreme low opinion of myself. It has actually affected me greatly, I never feel good about picking high priority picks out of fear that I am not earning my wins, I constantly avoid roles that I don't trust myself with or feel like a greedy pig for picking (mid, top, adc), and in general I try to not be aggressive because I don't trust myself. It gets really bad because when I lose for any reason, I am always the first and only person I blame, I will bat myself verbally in my brain constantly if I do anything wrong, even if I am winning, and if I do win I blame everyone else for winning and excuse myself as being carried. It gets so bad that if someone is ever toxic to me, I take it to heart, I take it as fact and actually agree with them no matter what. I even have issue when I play jungle of trying to please every ally, I ward everywhere, I gank every time they ask and even if they don't ask, and I rarely farm. I know I have these problems and try to improve, but then the times I do farm someone yells at me or I see the yasuo die one or two times and I feel like it is my fault even when I try to help them after it. I just know I will be too scared of being laughed off the fourms later to ask for help, so I am asking now. Does anyone else have this issue or know how to help it? I know many people experience anger, or blame allies at this elo, but I feel like i'm the opposite. I get sad and blame myself... I actually cry after losses and then refuse to play ranked so I don't ruin anyones promos or something. Also... one last question... how do I take compliments? I never trust them, I always feel like they are lying to make me feel better, or boost my confidence so they can win. (on a side note) I seem to only ever be able to play happy if I am as trolly of a champion as possible, I usually play Gragas support, taric or nunu in ranked because if I win or lose I end up laughing because of the silly things I was able to pull off with them, and it has transitioned to being rather good with all of them. I just wish I could feel the same way when I played more serious stuff.

23 Comments

The Chain Warder3/20/2015, 10:13:42 AM3 votes

I had some issues with self-confidence as well. Basically every time I'd die, I'd say "Wow, I suck," or something to that effect, and I meant it. If we were losing, I'd attribute the loss to my mistakes.

However, here is something I learned, and it's very important. One does not simply "get carried."

If your team wins, 99% of the time it's because your presence was worth something. Without you, it's very unlikely they would have won.

My advice would be to surround yourself with friends. It helped me avoid toxicity. Whenever I'd encounter someone who seemed friendly, I'd add them and see if they'd play with me again. They're much less likely to flame you, and even when you do make mistakes, they can help you improve. It makes things more fun. The more I played in full premades, the more they helped me boost my confidence.

Don't worry too much about ranked. If you feel like playing ranked, do it. If not--just wait until you're ready. And when you do play ranked, don't worry about how "serious" your champion pick is. You'll do best when you play champions you have fun playing as. Pick champions you enjoy--don't worry about the meta.

With regards to taking compliments, I'm not sure how to help you there, because that's just a matter of gaining trust in others. When people say you did something well, they do mean it.

League of Legends aside, I wish you the best in life. Have faith that things can and will get better.

SheikaRei3/20/2015, 2:53:28 AM2 votes

I used to have the same kind of problem. Similar, but not the same. I was able to get over my problem through sheer force of will. I know, that doesn't work for everyone. But, I recommend complimenting yourself whenever you make a good play, get a kill, achieve an assist, take out dragon. Just compliment yourself for doing small things at first. As for how you play, just play the way you want to play. If you enjoy being those "troll" picks, then cool, that's your thing. Me, I play the champs I think look the coolest or have the coolest lores. I play them for their aesthetics. I tend to play Shyvana and Sona the most. Overall, this is the advice i can give you. Just start complimenting yourself for the things you do in game. Don't take making a mistake so hard, cause we all make them. Sometimes we just have a bad game. Just try to have fun and a lot of it. You have a wondrous night and maybe I'll see you on the Rift.summoner 4

Godhri3/20/2015, 3:18:25 AM2 votes

For your real life issues, I don't recommend coming here for support. I'm sorry to hear you are having those problems but a league of legends boards isn't exactly the best place for support. That said, that's not to say that you can't get support here buddy. Life gets better. Hang in there. We all experience these stages in life where we get depressed and feel lowly about ourselves. What you need isn't necessarily therapy but perhaps a different outlook on things. This is something only you can change for yourself. No one can tell you how. You need to find that reason yourself.

For the game, just try to accept that there are always people who will always react in an abrasive manner when you do something they don't like. This is not to say that you should ignore them, but just accept that as a fact of life. You'll learn to take their harsh criticism as a learning opportunity (whether it be in how to deal with people like them in a proper way or how to deal with the way they react).

The most important and SOLID piece of advice I can give you is: You can still do what you want while be considerate of the needs of others. What I mean by that is while you should take risks and opportunities to improve yourself, there are ways you can do that without totally ignoring the needs of others. Take risks in your gameplay. Learn for yourself what risks are worth taking and what risks aren't. When you lose, try to think about what you did that can be improved on. Putting yourself down or throwing blame around doesn't resolve anything so just practice avoiding that way of thinking.

Leti the Yeti3/20/2015, 9:07:34 AM1 votes

train yo confidence yo go2draftmode first pick nasus

do it alot

once you see you can do it, you can pretty much lane as anyone else against anyone http://puu.sh/gHTsF/cb51d2e4b2.jpg http://puu.sh/gHTuW/0a48f2a704.jpg

Shaved Teemo3/20/2015, 2:22:55 PM1 votes

How about playing with a friend who is more experienced than you? I know I'm bad generally but especially during laning phase. If an ADC friend is more aggressive than me, I trust him and will try to be a bit more aggressive as well.

3tyson3/20/2015, 2:14:08 AM1 votes

Therapy

dandyangel3/26/2015, 10:30:51 AM1 votes

if u get bothered by what other people say during games maybe u should mute em that could help you

Windfallen3/20/2015, 2:29:58 AM1 votes

Lulu is pretty serious business. If you like helping your team and being the general role filler, Lulu is good support/mid/ top. She can even be a successful adc in the early/mid game, but that's more for fun.

Play whatever you want. Lacking self confidence or even thinking things over too much are a huge disadvantage. I think about things too much sometimes. You just need to get a feel for what is "safe" and what is "worth it"

I realized that to become better at this game I just need to analyze. Cs as much as I can. Learn what I can do... what I should do. I don't like thinking about mistakes. I prefer just to think about what I could of tried instead.

Also, you have to be nice. I've been carried before and I damn well tried not to be heavy. Some people can be though... and it's frustrating when you're the one who needs to step up, but nothing looks worse than somebody being smug just because they have more gold than you.

Seems like you just wanted to vent. I thought I would too lawl.

The Chin3/20/2015, 3:23:58 AM1 votes

Exercise, meditation, healthy diet - you'll feel like a million bucks.

I used to have massive confidence issues as well and these things helped me tremendously.