The problem always contains the solution, and if YOU are the problem, then YOU are also the solution.
It's pretty damn obvious reading your post that you have little to no confidence in your abilities, and that is the very reason why you fail.
League of Legends is a skill, just like riding a bike, painting, cooking, or doing math by hand. You learn by doing.
The first time you tried to do something, odds are you failed miserably at it, this is totally fine. Pain and pleasure, joy and despair, they are all the exact same emotion just viewed through a different lens. Every time you fail ask yourself this, what did I do wrong? Because whenever you die it is always, and I do mean ALWAYS, your fault. There is no point blaming other people for your own fuck ups, accepting this is the first step towards improvement. If you got ganked and didn't see it coming you lack vision. If you lose a 1v1 fight you misjudged your damage and/or did not respect the damage potential of your opponent. The only streamers worth watching (if you want to improve and not just be entertained) are the ones who admit to their own fuck ups.
I started playing this game several years ago when
first came out, it was my first ever MOBA, and my first real experience in PvP. When I started playing ranked I seeded straight into Bronze 5 and you know what? I deserved to be there. Now fast forward a few years later and I've managed to climb to Plat 4/3 (depending on the week, I get knocked down a lot). I got there by learning to admit defeat with grace, using my mistakes as learning tools, and (the most important part) LEARNING TO TRUST MYSELF AND MY OWN ABILITY. This story is not unique in any way.
The only way to get better at League of Legends is to practice, you have to play for yourself, THINK for yourself, learn about the game and rise above the mindlessly chaotic solo queue mindset most players find themselves locked into.
Also, if you spend all your time thinking that you are a burden to your team, or are afraid of being called a troll just because you are having a rough time. Get over yourself, please. That insecurity isn't helping you win, it's holding you back. If your "friends" treat you like a liability when you play with them then they aren't your friends and you shouldn't play with them. Ever. A real friend will pick you up, not shove you down.
If you want to be good at this game you just need to keep putting one foot in front of the other, regardless of who tries to tear you down. Success is an iceberg, we only see the top, but the truth is it's built upon miles and miles of failures lying beneath the waves.