Eddison's Guide To Easy Elo Gain
Well, LoL community, after playing around 1000 games of League of Legends, most of them in solo-queue ranked, I've decided to finally share my secrets with you. I know a lot of you are struggling with ragers, trolls, and the like, and I can sure tell you that I've seen a lot of them in my time, and have developed certain detailed strategies for minimizing their impact on my games. With the skills outlined in this guide, you, too, will be able to avoid the worst of the attentions of these unsavory folks, and, hopefully, have a more positive experience in solo-queue ranked.
Champion Selection
As all pros know, success in LoL begins at champion selection. In order to minimize the chance of someone raging at you for your choice of champion, be sure to pick either Sona or Soraka, because other players are least likely to complain about someone who heals them and does not take a solo lane. Even if you don't really understand how to use it to full effect, always take Clairvoyance: Your teammates will find the blue icon soothing and reassuring. Once the game is well under way, don't worry if you're not sure where to target your CV: Just choose random spots in the enemy jungle or the river, and it will look like you're being helpful.
Of course, these precautions won't necessarily prevent your teammates from raging at each other over their choices of champions--in fact, they probably will. If and when this happens, you have two effective options for dealing with it. The first is to attempt to defuse the conflict by saying something like: "Hey, guys, chill, we got this. Check it out, [reason why enemy team is at a disadvantage]." For example, you could point out that the enemy team has no tank, or that they lack an AD carry. If you can't see anything terribly wrong with the enemy comp, just substitute any random observation, like "they have 3 AP champs lulz." Chances are good that at least two of your teammates will find this encouraging simply because they find every possible comp to be awful, which is why they're so inclined to rage at one another for their teammates' picks. Your second option in this eventuality is to just remain absolutely silent: Flying under the radar is easy in these situations and will prevent you from being the focus of rage, thereby improving your ranked solo-queue experience.
Early Game
Now that you've made it through champion selection without being targeted by ragers, it's time to start the game! The first thing to remember in the early game is that team morale is key, and that if your team gives first blood to your opponents, your team morale will be ruined and you will lose as your teammates spend more time insulting each other than actually playing. Moreover, if you give away first blood, your team will spend the ensuing 20 minutes or so calling you bad, making implications about your mother's love life, and blaming any subsequent death of their own, along with the inevitable loss, on you, which is no fun. As such, it's imperative that you not be the first on your team to die. This may sound difficult, but fear not! Just go to your lane and sit under the tower, maybe venturing out ever so slightly or walking back and forth now and then in order to make it look like you're actively trying to do something more than avoid death. Just to be absolutely sure, save plenty of mana to be able to heal yourself in the event of your lane opponents attempting to dive you. Once someone else on your team has died, you're free to move around the map.
For the remainder of the laning phase, your job will probably be to babysit the AD carry in the bottom lane with you, since you're playing a support champion. The problem here is that if this champion gets a good k/d ratio, they're very likely to assume that they're better than the rest of their teammates, including you--yes, even if you're playing support--and start raging at all of you for "trapping them in Elo hell" and being "bads." In order to make sure that this doesn't happen, heal your laning partner only when they're at nearly full hp. In fact, spam heals on them even when they are at full hp. This will make it appear as though you're being helpful and doing your job, but will ideally cause you to run out of mana quickly, which gives you the perfect excuse for letting them die when your lane opponents move in for the attack. You can further ensure that this happens by moving forward into a risky position, encouraging your laning partner to follow, then Flashing away without healing them as soon as the enemy moves to engage.
Finally, you should spam your damage abilities as much as possible when minions are nearby, which will not only get you some bonus gold and contribute to the aforementioned goal of putting you at low mana, but will also make it more difficult for your laning partner to last-hit and achieve a good CS score, which will further reduce the likelihood that they'll be able to convincingly claim to be the best player on the team and rage at you all for making them lose.
Mid-Late Game
The game is almost certain to be over at the 20 minute mark in solo queue ranked, so don't worry about all this jazz. If your team is the one which starts the voting to surrender, always vote yes: This way you can more quickly move on to your next game, which gives you another chance to win and gain Elo. If the opposing team proved to have even a slightly worse early game than your own team, then they will be voting to surrender at 20 minutes. Don't be too concerned if two or more of them object, since the mere act of voting will cause endless raging and argument amongst them, and they'll basically be incapacitated for the remainder of the game; you'll probably come upon them as they type caustic invective at each other and be granted free kills. They may even elect to conduct this "debate" in /all chat, in which case you can add fuel to the fire by taking one player's side. For example, if Player X accuses Player Y of causing the loss, you might say something like: "Lol whatever dude you're the worst player on your team, player Y is fine." Player Y will then be encouraged to further insult Player X, and the cycle of rage will continue until your own team is victorious.
The one thing to keep in mind in this period is that you should always have about 2 wards in your inventory, and drop at least one ward in any random spot every 5 minutes or so. This will ensure that no one can rage at you for not warding, and that when the inevitable "we need more wards" comment arises, you can claim exemption from your teammates' admonitions on the subject.
Post-Game
If your team has won, simply repeat! You're on your way to slightly-below-average Elo and freedom from chat attack thanks to Eddison’s guide; congratulations! If your team has lost, however, and you've followed all the advice above, be sure to report every member of your team for some offense. This will minimize the likelihood that you'll ever be matched with the same players again, and thus maximize your chances of getting good teammates in the future. If it doesn't appear that they've actually done anything wrong, use the "Negative Attitude", "Failure to Communicate" (if they were quiet), or "Unskilled Player" options, because these are extremely vague and it will at least be difficult to call you out for frivolous use of the report function.
Good luck, and I hope to see you all at 1200 Elo soon!
